THE WAD

BCS Thoughts

2011-12-04T22:12:00.007-05:00

It’s the first Sunday of December, so, of course, we have BCS outrage that people will incoherently scream about for the next 48 hours on talk radio. Every college football beat writer and television personality will chime in with their opinion in that same time. And, every idiot with a blog (myself included) will feel compelled to offer their thoughts. Then, amazingly, a month will pass with no outrage. People will go Christmas shopping, spend the Holidays with their families, bemoan the fact that New Year’s Eve is the most overrated night of the year, and finally, people will happily watch the New Year’s Day Bowl games while they eat collard greens and black-eyed peas. And only then, in the week leading up to the Rematch, will the outrage surface again. So, before the outrage subsides, let me take this opportunity to share mine.

Okay, that’s not really what I am doing here. For better or worse, at some point over the past several years, I have become a guy that appreciates sports for their entertainment and humor and very little more. The closest I have come to feeling outrage over anything sports related in these past several years was the NBA Lockout and that is only because I recognized that my winter and spring would be robbed of both my nightly entertainment and humor with no NBA, and more importantly, no Kenny, Chuck, Ernie, C-Webb, and Shaq. Now that I have that back, I’m cool. I like not feeling outraged about sports. Rightly or wrongly, it makes me feel mature and as if I somehow have my priorities in order. That said, I do have a few points about this year’s BCS Title Game I feel compelled to share:

First, anybody that argues that the Rematch is the “right” decision because Alabama and LSU are clearly the two best teams in the country (Yes, I’m talking to everyone at ESPN, including you Herbie) is offering an indefensible position. Why it is it indefensible? Because, by definition, you cannot know whether one team is better than another team unless you see them play one another. And, even then, it’s not an exact science. For example, I watched LSU v. Alabama I, and I know that Alabama easily could have won that game, but on that given night, the breaks didn’t go their way. So, even though LSU scored more points after overtime, I honestly don’t if they are better than Alabama. And, if I don’t know if LSU is better than Alabama, how in the world could I possibly know if Alabama or LSU is better than Oklahoma State, Stanford, or Boise State? I certainly can have an opinion, but opinions are subjective. Consequently, when you go on national television and try to pass off a subjective opinion as an objective fact, you look like you either are not smart enough to know the difference, or you look like you are trying to justify the result because your network paid gazillions of dollars for the broadcast rights to the BCS. Either way, you look silly. I knew Mark May was silly, but I really thought Herbie was better than that. Color me disappointed, Herbie.

Second, given the fact that OSU was one double OT loss at Iowa State away from the Title Game, I truly hope every human voter gave thoughtful consideration to the circumstances of that loss. Specifically, OSU took the field that Friday night in Ames approximately 24 hours after the school’s head women’s basketball coach and an assistant coach were tragically lost in a plane crash. Is this the reason they lost that game? I have no idea whatsoever. I do know, however, that we are talking about 18-22 year old young men that may or may not have ever had to deal with the fact that someone that they were accustomed to seeing all the time, or someone that their friends or girlfriends were very close with, would never pass by them in the dining hall or athletic offices again. Again, I have no idea what impact this tragedy had on those young men that night. I do know three things for certain, though: 1) that game day in Ames, whether it was the team breakfast, down time in the hotel, a possible walk through, and even dressing for the game in the locker room was, at least to some degree, not a normal day for those young men; 2) Coach Gundy and OSU will never, and I mean NEVER, bring this up in any argument on their behalf because they know that in the grand scheme of what is important in life, it would be wholly inappropriate and self-serving to do so; and 3) Because Coach Gundy and OSU could never even hint at the impact that tragedy had on them that night in Ames, it was the responsibility of the human voters to do so for them. If a voter took this into account and still felt it was appropriate to vote Alabama #2, that is fine and they should have had no hesitation about casting that vote. If a voter failed to take this into account, they failed to properly discharge their obligations

Next, tonight, Nick Saban actually made the best argument I have heard in favor of the Rematch, but he and his interviewer, Reece Davis (someone whose work and objectivity, despite being a ‘Bama grad, I admire very much ) failed to seize upon it. Specifically, Coach Saban said that Alabama and LSU played to a tie after 60 minutes, and LSU happened to get the better end of things in overtime. For those, like me, that loathe the randomness of the college overtime system, this is a fine argument: “Look, nobody disputes that LSU should be in this game, and after 60 minutes of football, we proved we are at least their equal, so let us finish the game.” That is how Saban should have phrased it. Of course, he rushed through the point and continued to make a bunch of statements that might not be true. I mean, I’ve been told by many LSU and Dolphins fans that is what he does, so I will take their word for it

Finally, I really hope LSU wins the Title Game. I feel this way not only because my close friend and LSU diehard, Ben, may walk around in a catatonic state for a month if they don’t, but also because I will feel terribly for the LSU players and coaches if they don’t. When you break this down to its core elements what you are left with is an LSU team that has not lost a game, has two more wins, one less loss, and one more conference title than Alabama, and beat Alabama on its home field. Now, if that same LSU team, after over a month break, has its first off night of the season and loses to Alabama in the Title Game, they will be forced to watch the team they already beat (on their home field – did I mention that?), with one less win and one less conference title, walk out of LSU’s de-facto home city with the Crystal Football LSU has focused its every waking minute on since the end of last season. How does that make any sense to anybody?

Furthermore, if Alabama wins, everything LSU has accomplished to this point in the regular season, which is historic on several levels, will amount to nothing. And, as someone who has railed against a college playoff system for fear it would cheapen the regular season, I will have to re-evaluate my position. And, nothing outrages me more than having to re-evaluate my position. So, for my sake, I really hope LSU wins. I have no desire to once again feel outrage toward anything sports related.

Fair is Fair

2011-09-22T00:06:00.002-04:00

Over the past year or so, as stories of scandal in major college athletic departments have given way to rumors and stories and conference realignment, which have ultimately given way to more stories of scandal (when hookers are allegedly involved it counts as a scandal, right?), the one constant that seems to run through all these stories and rumors is the underlying motivation: money. Big money allegedly paid to preachers in exchange for a national championship at Auburn; small money paid to All-American wide receivers in Georgia (well, I guess clothes count as some form of currency); medium money paid to shady characters for recruiting data at Oregon (at least I think that’s the allegation – I honestly don’t care enough about Oregon to look into it); and God knows how much money allegedly paid to players in Miami for God knows what. What can we conclude from all this? Well, I think it’s safe to say that major college athletics, the last bastion of amateur athletics, is anything but amateur. It’s as professional as it comes with one major exception: the guys on the field and the court that make the printing press possible aren’t treated professionally at all.

Don’t worry. I’m not going to pound out ten thousand words on the lunacy that is a “non-profit” organization like the NCAA earning $771 million this from its annual basketball tournament, $11 million/year from the licensing of its marketing rights, or even the untold amounts of money it makes off royalties from EA Sports derived from its basketball and football video games. I’m not going to delve into this lunacy because Taylor Branch of The Atlantic did such a thorough and masterful job of doing so that it’s not necessary for me to try. If you haven’t read this, you should: http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/10/the-shame-of-college-sports/8643/?single_page=true I will warn you, however, it’s very long and may require a full week of a high fiber diet to get through it. Nope. I’m not going to rehash Taylor Branch’s work. Instead, I’m going to tell you what I think the height of simplicity is. It’s the argument that is rehashed over and over again in the comments to Branch’s article and around water coolers every day. Simply put, it’s the “These kids are getting a free education, they don’t deserve any more than that” argument.

I come at this issue from a unique perspective. In 1996, I was lucky enough to enter Georgia Tech with three great academic scholarships that took care of my education expenses. During my four years at Tech, I was also active in my fraternity and made friends that make me rich in the sense that doesn’t involve money. I also spent two years working for Coach Cremins and the basketball program handling video for the program, which may or may not have led to an embarrassing moment when a tape of something completely unrelated to basketball (use your imagination) was boxed up and shipped to some coach in Bloomington, IN. Ultimately, I graduated with a solid GPA (albeit in Management, not engineering ), did well on my LSAT, and went on to attend a pretty solid law school. When you look at it on paper, you might think that I was really busting my ass and had a pretty intense four years of college. Well, let me tell you a little more about what I was able to accomplish in college: For four consecutive years, I’m pretty sure I never woke up before 10 a.m.; I may or may not have attended half my classes; and I’m pretty sure I never missed a Wednesday night at Fox & Hound and/or Have a Nice Day Café, or a Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night at Moondogs or Buckhead Saloon. If you don’t believe me, I can dig up the credit card statements to prove it.

Now, on the flip side, let me tell you things I never did in college: I never woke up at 5:30 a.m. for conditioning drills, went back to my room and showered and went straight to class where somebody checked to make sure I was in my seat. I never went straight from class to hours of film, weights, and practice followed by a crappy meal at the athletic dining hall. I never went straight from dinner to a mandatory study hall. And, one thing I can guaranty you I never did was generate one single dime for the Institute I love. You know who did those things? Every one of my buddies that played football or basketball.

Just to recap, I went to school for free. I did enough to make good grades. I slept in every day. I gained 50 pounds (give or take…okay, give), I went out with my friends all the time. I graduated in four years, and I generated no money for the Institute.

Now, let’s look at some publicly available numbers for my alma mater related to athletes in basketball and football, which are the only two sports that matter for the purposes of this discussion (warning: when I say publicly available, I mean “available through a Google search”, so you know…):

In 2009-2010, Georgia Tech basketball generated over $5.2 million in profit (that’s revenue minus expenses for all you UGA grads), and the football program generated over $9.3 million in profit: http://businessofcollegesports.com/2011/06/20/which-football-and-basketball-programs-produce-the-largest-profits/

Currently, the estimated cost of out of state attendance for Tech students, including room and board, is about $37,000. So, essentially, under the simplistic analysis, that means each scholarship football and basketball athlete is receiving an annual salary of $37K. So, when you take the number of athletes on football and basketball scholarships at any given time (98) and multiply by the annual salary, you get total payments to basketball and football players of roughly $3.6 million. If you assume the cost of each athlete’s tuition is not factored into the Athletic Department’s expenses ( something I actually don’t know), the worst case scenario for Georgia Tech in 2009-2010 is that it earned a profit of approximately $10.9 million on the backs of the guys “making” $37K/year (Considering that Tech football ranks 44^th in profit and basketball ranks 70^th, these numbers are even more extraordinary at other places – see No. 2 on the list). And, again, the vast majority of these guys are working from sun up to sun down and killing their bodies to earn that $37K/year. Now, of course, none of that $37K/year actually goes into their pocket (with the exception of limited meal money stipends on road trips), so when they do get to go out drinking, they have to drink a lot of crappy beer before hitting the bars to play at the same level as the other patrons. Actually, this might be the biggest tragedy of the whole system. Nobody should have to drink Natty Light on a consistent basis!

Seriously, though, when you actually stop and consider the amount of effort and sacrifice football and basketball players put in at the highest level of college sports, it’s just too simplistic to argue that the scholarship alone is sufficient compensation. This fact is highlighted even more when you consider that it is highly questionable whether these guys are actually receiving the education so many believe is enough compensation. Not to keep picking on my alma mater, but if you look at Tech’s Graduation Success Rate for 2010 (GSR measures the percentage of athletes that obtain their degree within six years of entering school – it’s important to remember that athletic scholarships are only good for five years unless you have the nerve to graduate in 4 years and not get accepted to one of your school’s graduate programs –then you are stuck with 4), you will find that only 49% of scholarship football players obtained a degree, and only 36% of scholarship basketball players obtained a degree. http://ramblinwreck.cstv.com/genrel/102710aac.html

The scariest things about these stats are that they are above the national averages. There are likely several reasons for these statistics, but one of the major reasons I witnessed while at Tech is that scholarship football and basketball players simply don’t have the time or the physical and mental strength to take more than then minimum number of required credit hours each semester. To earn a Business degree at Tech, you have to complete 122 credit hours: http://mgt.gatech.edu/programs/under/files/bsba_credit_sheet.pdf

The minimum number of hours you can take to be considered a full time student is 12: http://www.registrar.gatech.edu/registration/ugradfaq.php

So, if an athlete takes the minimum number of hours and passes every class, they will graduate in just over 5 years. Assuming, of course, their workout, practice, study hall, and film sessions are all scheduled at times that allow them to take the classes they need when they need them.

Now, just as it is too simplistic to simply rely on the argument that a free education is fair compensation for basketball and football players, it would be too simplistic of me to rely on the profit numbers for each school and argue they should be divided amongst the football and basketball players. The truth is, even with profitable football and basketball programs, most athletic departments are not profitable because the profits from football and basketball are not sufficient to fund the non-revenue generating sports. And, no. I am not arguing for the abolition of these other sports. Whether it be softball, tennis, golf, or even my least favorite sport of all time, college baseball (seriously, is there anything more annoying than a 17-12 baseball game?), each of these sports are woven into the fabric of a college’s culture, and they serve a valuable purpose for the school and the athletes.

So, if we can’t get rid of water polo, where do we go for the money to give the football and basketball players a fair chance to drink good beer and maybe fly home every now and then? Well, how about that pot of money the NCAA has to burn through each year in order not to turn a profit and remain a 501(c)(3) in the eyes of the IRS? There are, at most, 14,685 young men on football and basketball scholarships in Division I basketball and FBS football. If you took $500 million per year from the NCAA and split it equally among each of these athletes, that would be approximately $34K to each player. Hell, if you got some of these burgeoning super-conferences to kick in, the number goes higher. Of course, this would require some NCAA executives to fly commercial, but these are tough times. We all have to make sacrifices.

At the end of the day, I have no idea what the actual compensation number would look like. All I know is that the money is there to compensate these kids for the things they do. You know, things like working harder than most students on campus and allowing every other athlete on campus the opportunity to compete in college sports. Little things like that.

Will paying these guys the type of money I’m talking about stop cheating? Of course not. It will just adjust the start pointing for cheating. Conversations will change from “hey, I can get you $180K if you go to there” to “hey, I can get you an extra $180K if you go there.” Will paying these guys stop some of them from leaving school early to go to the pros? Uh…no. I mean, I’m talking thousands here, not millions. But, the point here is not to stop cheating or early defections. The point is to stop patronizing the guys that put millions of asses in the seats across the country and make billions of dollars for everybody but themselves by saying, “take your free education that, statistically, you will probably never complete and be happy.”

I’m not a particularly idealistic guy. But, I am a guy that believes that fair is fair. And, when one guy gets to go to college for free, have the time of his life and generate no income for his school whatsoever, and another guy gets to go to college for free but has to sacrifice a great portion of his independence in order to generate tens of millions of dollars for his school and has less than a 50% chance of graduating, the second guy deserves a little something for his trouble. It’s only fair.

You Didn't Really Think I Wasn't Going to Write About Lebron, Did You?

2011-06-17T00:30:00.003-04:00

With two wars raging (maybe three, depending on how the media decides to characterize Libya any given day), devastating floods ongoing, intolerable heat waves engulfing the deep south, and a seven term congressman resigning in disgrace after making Brett Favre look smart for only texting instead of tweeting, the two most frequent questions I’ve been asked over the past week are: 1) Do you think Kim Kardashian really hooked up with that guy on the Patriots?; and 2) What do you think happened to Lebron? I’m not sure if this says more about me, the people I spend most of my time talking to, or our society as a whole. Regardless, I have no idea as to the answer to either question, but in both cases, I certainly have an opinion. Coincidently, I would argue that both opinions are based on empirical evidence. For the sake of brevity and so as not to state the obvious, let’s skip over the Kim question and move right to Lebron.

Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever talked about a person or topic more in a week than I have talked about Lebron this week. The theories I’ve heard tossed around have ranged from ones involving Rashard Lewis pulling a Donte West (all alleged) to Lebron never recovering from the tongue lashing D. Wade gave him in Game 3. I even heard one guy say that it looked like LBJ was shaving points. Okay, that guy was me, but I was totally kidding. Everybody knows that nobody has shaved points in a high profile basketball game since UNLV in the ’91 Final Four. What? That didn’t happen? I’m still demanding an investigation.

Well, after much consideration and amateur psycho babble, I’ve finally settled on the theory that evolved out of one of the many LBJ psycho analysis sessions my buddy Joe and I conducted over the past week. Basically, there seem to be two types of uber successful people in sports (and, probably in all walks of life): 1) The people that constantly view themselves as the underdogs, either perceived or real; and 2) That rare group of people that are so incredibly talented and physically gifted that success not only comes easy to them, it’s an inevitability.

Those in the first group sometimes morph into the second group (see Jordan, Michael). But, even when they morph into the second group, they never lose their group 1 roots and continue to work as if the deck is stacked against them. They refuse to accept the fact that they can put things on cruise control. They invent ways to pit themselves in the underdog role by inventing slights that didn’t actually happen or taking small slights and turning them into much bigger deals than they actually are. For an example, just think back to MJ’s maniacal evisceration of Karl Malone in the ’97 Finals after Malone received his sympathy MVP award. Should MJ have been so pissed that he was denied his fifth MVP award? Probably not, but he has group 1 DNA , so he had no choice. He found an obstacle in his way (i.e. Karl Malone), and he chose to do everything in his power to destroy it. That’s what the group 1 guys do. If you challenge their greatness, you are going to face the consequences.

In contrast, Lebron is squarely a group 2 guy. Since he was in 10^th grade, the question was never if he would be a great basketball player, it was whether he would be the greatest basketball player of all time. Since we first came to know LBJ, we’ve been constantly awed by his athleticism and the ease in which he can dominate a game based solely on his physical gifts. He’s never been the underdog and we’ve never questioned his greatness. We’ve never doubted that LBJ would win rings, we’ve just wondered if he could get to MJ’s mythical level of six rings. Now, however, twice in two years (in last year’s Boston series and this year’s Finals), we’ve seen two inexplicable disappearing acts that have made us question everything we’ve ever believed about his apparent greatness. Last year, we could explain away the Game 5 in Boston with crappy teammates, impending free agency, the weight of his hometown on his shoulders, and, well, that alleged Delonte thing. This year? Nobody seems to have any clue what happened.

As for me, the only conclusion I’ve ultimately come to is that LBJ potentially fell victim to the same fate that the group 2 guys too often seem to encounter. Specifically, when everything has always come with relative ease and your greatness is naturally assumed, sometimes it is easier to put on the breaks and not take the big shots than it is to dig deeper and take the responsibility of winning and losing on your shoulders. The reason? If you fail but don’t put yourself completely on the line, it can be easier to swallow than if you give everything you have, take the big shots and big risks and come up short. You can always tell yourself, “if I had really given it all I had, we would have won”, and nobody can prove you wrong. Put simply, you don’t have to face the reality that, no matter how gifted you are, on occasion, your best might not be good enough.

By all appearances, LBJ is content to be great when the circumstances don’t require him to potentially expose himself to failure. The crazy thing is that it’s a matter of self perception rather than popular perception. Sure, we are all left wondering, “what if Lebron had just been average”? (My favorite writer/talk radio host/sports personality, Dan LeBatard, has asked this question no less than 30 times this week). I suppose Lebron takes some consolation from this lingering question, but what he doesn’t seem to understand is that fans, the media, and his peers would hold him in higher regard if he had been willing to put it on the line against the Mavs, and he had come up short. As strange as it sounds, there is a certain nobility in giving it everything you have and coming up short.

I mean, if you ask me if I have more respect for John Stark’s 2-18 Game 7 in the ’94 Finals or LBJ’s disappearing act in this year’s Finals, it’s not even close. Even as his shots continued to miss the mark, Starks did not succumb to the despair or the fear. For better or worse (I guess worse, if you are a Knicks fan), he never wavered from his commitment to take the responsibility of winning and losing on his shoulders. Consequently, while we all remember the 2-18, basketball junkies, almost to a man, still remember Starks as a warrior that had onions that would make Bill Rafferty proud. Even in a loss, Starks strangely cemented a legacy. As Hemingway famously said, “a man is not made for defeat.” Starks lost, but he was not defeated. LBJ, unfortunately, cannot say the same.

At Long Last

2011-04-30T23:15:00.004-04:00

"Five players on the floor functioning as one single unit: team, team, team - no one more important that the other." - Coach Norman Dale, Hickory High.

Most "old school" basketball fans will probably tell you this quote from the greatest sports movie ever made provides the ultimate key to success on the hardwood. As much as I love Coach Dale (even though he stupidly considered running the last play against South Bend Central for someone other than Jimmy - I mean, was he auditioning for the George Mason head coaching job or something?), I've actually always felt like this philosophy was partially flawed. Instead, the Dunn key to basketball success goes a little something like this:

"Five players on the floor functioning as a single unit: team, team, team - one guy way more important than the others."

The Dunn Philosophy is definitely a product of the teams of my youth and their unquestioned superstars: In the 80's it was the Lakers (Magic), Celtics (Bird), Pistons (Isiah); in the 90's it was the Bulls (MJ) and Rockets (Hakeem); and in the '00's it was the Lakers (Shaq), the Spurs (Duncan), the Heat (Wade) and the Lakers again (Kobe). Sure, each of these stars had significant help, whether it be Kareem, Worthy, Pippen, Vernon Maxwell (easy, it's a joke), Kobe, Ginobli & Parker, Shaq, Gasol, etc... You get the point. Under my theory, it's not enough to be five guys functioning as one unit. You need a superstar, and that superstar needs a sidekick or two.

All that said, with the addition of the "superstar" to the mix, I still buy into the first part of Coach Dale's philosophy. Specifically, it is still essential for all five guys, Superstar included, to function as one unit. Or, to use the vaguest and most over-used term in sports, the five guys on the floor must have "chemistry." Since I took Chemistry from a professor that didn't speak English, I don't really know what the term means. As best I can tell, though, a team has "chemistry" when the five guys on the floor play unselfishly, put their own personal agendas aside, and focus only on winning. I've put that last part in bold for a reason, which I may or may not get to tonight depending on how much I have left in the tank. If not tonight, soon. I promise.

Okay, so where am I going with this? It's actually quite simple. After all the months of hype and well written, but entirely unnecessary Brian Windhorst articles, we've finally reached the moment when the Heat and Celtics are going to collide and either the Celtics are going to provide further support for mine and Coach Dale's theory that success is contingent upon "Five players on the floor functioning as one single unit: team, team, team", or the Heat are going to blow our theory all to hell. While he hasn't tread the same path getting to this same point, the great writer Bill Simmons (you know, the guy most of you accuse me of poorly ripping off?), has gone as far as to say that this series will put to the test everything he has ever believed about basketball. And, while Simmons used over 700 pages in his best selling "The Book of Basketball" to sum up what it is he believes, I can sum it up like this: He, like me and Coach Dale, believes five players on the floor must function as a single unit. Not nearly as marketable as 700 pages, but it gets you where you need to go.

As for the series, here's how it breaks down:

1) The Celtics are the grizzled veteran team. And, true, they aren't exactly devoid of stars since they feature four All-Stars and three future Hall of Famers (if any of you still want to argue Allen's and Pierce's HOF credentials with me after Reggie Miller just got the nod, I would kindly just ask you to argue with a wall. It may be more receptive than me), but, only one of those four stars, Paul Pierce, can still sniff the scent of Super Stardom. Instead, when at their best, the Celtics are the definition of the whole "five guys on the floor functioning as a single unit" philosophy. Over the course of the regular season, each of their five starters averaged double figures in points. 6 guys averaged more than 4 boards a game. Each of their current five starters shot 45% or greater from the field, with the team posting a 48.6% average. And, the Celtics averaged 23.4 assists/game as a team.

2) Now, let's look at the Heat. You know the story, and I don't need to rehash it. But, just in case you have been under a rock since July, or in case you don't care about NBA basketball (probably not enjoying this if that is the case), the Heat have arguably the best two players in the world, and a third guy that is arguably in the top 20 - arguably. At any rate, those three guys, we'll call them "LBW", are the only Heat to average in double figures, and collectively, they account for 70% of the Heat's points, 53% of all the Heat rebounds, and 67.5% of the Heat's assists. In fact, LeBron averages nearly 20 points/game more than the Heat's fourth most prolific scorer, Mike Bibby (7.3 ppg). Honestly, looking through all the statistics, I could on and on, but I think the point is clear: The Heat, unlike the Celtics, or any other team for that matter, are a three man team. It's LBW and 9 other guys wearing the same uniform and collectively trying their hardest to stay out of the way and not mess things up for LBW.

So, in sum, we have a clash between what many consider the NBA's most "complete" team because of its great "chemistry" and a unit out of Miami that, frankly, doesn't even resemble a "team" in any form that either me or Coach Dale recognizes. And, you know what makes this so fascinating? As of this moment, the Heat are a -180 favorite to win the series. In other words, despite having never seen a "team" like the Heat assembled before, and having nothing but decades of empirical evidence to support the belief that the Celtics "chemistry" should give them the edge over the Heat's lack thereof, the American betting public (admittedly, a suspect sample group) is pooping all over me and Coach Dale. Basketball fans (at least those that enjoy a good wager) have come to believe that 3 can be greater than 5 when that 3 features 2 of the best players alive (that 3>5 when 3 = 2 > world, got it?) Am I buying it? Not just yet. But, I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't very afraid that the Heat are about to rip away the curtain to reveal my long held beliefs floating away like Wilson the Volleyball in "Castaway". And, if this happens, much like Tom Hanks, I'm pretty certain I will react like a crazy man with a righteous beard and a missing tooth...at least until the Bulls have a chance to resurrect my theory in the Conference Finals.

Oh, remember up above when I put this in bold: "put their own personal agendas aside, and focus only on winning"? Well, as you likely predicted, I ran out of steam for tonight. But, I promise there's more to this, and I will get to it in the days ahead (if this were radio, or even a blog people actually read, you would call that a tease). For now, enjoy the start of Round 2. OKC and Memphis - two of America's great bbq hot spots - tip off in less than 12 hours. That means Kevin Durant should have 20 on the board in less than 13 hours.

How Big is the Three?

2011-03-28T21:09:00.002-04:00

In my last post, way back on Super Bowl Sunday (a/k/a The Day Dunn was convinced it was finally time for an OT Super Bowl - long story), I went to great lengths to break down what I view as the deterioration of the quality of play in college basketball. Let's just say that my comments were met with some support and with some suggestions to do unspeakable things to myself. Pretty much like most of my comments on most subjects. At the very least, though, I touched a nerve, which was somewhat gratifying. Now that we are quickly approaching what is going to be a historic Final Four, fear not. I have not returned to poop on the lawn that is the best weekend in college basketball. Granted, many of the games in this tournament have been horribly hard on the eyes (yes, I'm talking to you Butler and Wisconsin, among others), but even I have to admit that the excitement of the tournament still delivers. I would, however, point out that there is a difference between an "exciting" game and a "good" game, but again, I'm not here to beat a dead horse (can we still use this expression in the post Mike Vick world?...I'll just move on).

My purpose here is to offer my answer to the questions I've heard a thousand times (not literally...it's a writing device) over the past few weeks, and especially over the last 24 hours: How do these mid-majors keep pulling these upsets?; and how in the hell is VCU in the Final Four?

Well, for starters, I still maintain that a lot of the rationale set forth in my previous post provides insight into these answers (i.e. talent and skill levels diluted due to one and dones, AAU, Lindsay Lohan dropping her last name, etc...), but among all the points I made below, I think the one that has gained the most validation in this tournament (at least in my own tortured mind) is the fact that now, more than ever, the three point shot wholly dominates the college game. By way of illustration, let's look at some of the biggest upsets of the tournament, and we will end with VCU run:

#12 Richmond over Vandy - 43% of Richmond's FG attempts were 3 point shots. They took 24, and they made 12 for a 50% clip. Vandy, on the other hand, made half as many 3's. Fair to say the +18 differential from behind the arc was key in the Spiders' 3 point win? Now, the flip side of this equation ultimately reared its ugly head against the Spiders when they took on Kansas in the Sweet 16. In that game, Richmond hoisted 40% of its FG attempts from behind the arc, but they only made 4 out of 26. Yep, that's a whopping 15.4%. Their shooting performance was so poor that I'm pretty sure the game was relegated to TruTV's awful HD in the second half.

#8 Butler over #1 Pitt - So, those pesky Bulldogs took 52% of their shots from behind the arc, and they made 12 of their 27 attempts (44.4%). Couple that with the most ridiculous foul call....never mind. Butler won.

#8 Butler over #2 Florida - This one blew my mind. Butler took 55% of their shots from behind the arc - a total of 33 shots from three point range. Now, they only made 9 of them. But, when you consider Florida threw up two ridiculous 3's at the end of regulation and OT after having only made 3 such shots the entire game (I will spare you a whole other rant on the atrocious end of game management we've seen in this tournament), you again find a +18 three point margin, which I would venture to say was fairly decisive in a three point OT win over the worst coached program to ever win back to back national championships. Okay, I spared you the rant, but I had to throw in a snarky comment. Thanks for your indulgence.

Now, let's look at VCU:

Play in game (I refuse to call it round 1): They drain 9 threes. USC connects on a shockingly gruesome grand total of 1 three. That's a +24 margin for those keep score at home.

Round 1: Against Georgetown, the Rams took 57% of their field goal attempts from behind the arc, and made 48% of them (12 for 25). Now, consider the fact that they only made 18 FG's in the entire game! How in the world do you beat a Big East school when you only make 18 FG's in a game? Well, when that Big East School takes half it's field goal attempts (26) from behind the arc and makes only 5 of them (19.2%), you are looking pretty good. If you are John Thompson The Original, did you ever think you would see a day that the Hoyas would out rebound an opponent by 10, make 58% of its 2 point shots, and lose by 18 points? Pretending I am John Thompson The Original, I will simply say "no".

Round 2: The Purdue game doesn't really help illustrate my point, so I'm calling it an aberration, and I'm moving on. Hey, this is my blog, I make the rules.

Sweet 16: The Rams took 26 threes (49% of their field goal attempts), and they made 12 (46.2%). FSU only made 7 of 19 threes, but they did out rebound VCU 45-28 and 20-5 on the offensive glass. In other words, even with the +15 from behind the arc, VCU only won this game because FSU proved what we all have known for quite some time: FSU can't score from anywhere on the floor, even under the basket. Honestly, this is the most amazing box score of the tournament. In addition to the ridiculous rebounding numbers, FSU put up a staggering 18 more field goal attempts than VCU and still managed to lose. Forget all my theories about AAU, I'm going to start blaming the demise of college basketball on Leonard Hamilton...and Rick Barnes, of course.

Elite 8: This is where it gets fun. This is where the insanity should have stopped and VCU should have gone back to Richmond with a great story to tell as they watched Kansas play in the Final Four next weekend. But, luckily for us, we have Bill Self and his phenomenal game plans and in game adjustments. Check out these numbers: VCU, the grossly undersized and out manned team, takes 47% of its field goal attempts from deep and hits 12-25 (48%). At this point, I think it's worth noting that this is the same VCU team that shot 37% from three in the regular season (translation: they are collectively out of their minds right now). So, the Rams shot great. That's awesome for them, but that really shouldn't matter for the Jayhawks, who have an incredible size advantage and should be able to get whatever shot around the basket whenever they want it. So, how did Kansas counter? Well, of course, in true Selfian fashion, they proceed to throw up 21 threes. They make 2 of them (9.5%). I'm going to put that a different way: Kansas, the team with the size, talent, and jersey advantage (you know, the "we're effing Kansas, your VCU" advantage) decided to stop running an offense and throw up brick after brick from beyond the arc. The result, of course, is that Shaka Smart is going to increase his bank account by about $2 million/year come Tuesday of next week, and we are going to witness a national semifinal on Saturday that could feature 80 three point shots and 70 total points scored. Don't think for a minute that's not possible.

The ultimate takeaway here is not that the three gives less talented teams a chance to beat more talented teams. That's not a revelation. We've known that ever since Billy Donovan was learning all he knows from Rick Pitino at Louisville. Well, everything except for how to coach a team in the final minutes of a close game. No, the real takeaway here is that when the more talented teams are willing to engage in a three point battle with these less talented teams, they are placing themselves on equal footing with the less talented teams, and upsets are no longer possible, they are as equally likely to happen as not (by the way, that is what "equal footing" means. I enjoy being redundant from time to time).

Think of it this way: when I was a little kid (say around 7 or 8), I played my older neighbor, Brian, one on one every day. Brian was probably 6 or 7 years older than me, and he was bigger and stronger than me (he was also very kind for taking the time to play basketball with the brat across the street). So, I would tell him he was only allowed to shoot from behind an arbitrary line I would draw. Suddenly, his size and strength were neutralized, and I would manage to lose 21-4 instead of 21-0 (granted, he would let me score the 4). There came a time, however, when I could actually shoot a little, and Brian would no longer agree to stay behind that line, and the 21-0 beatings recommenced. Well, it's time that the more talented teams in college basketball stop letting the less talented teams keep them behind that arbitrary line because, if we know nothing else, we know that everybody now has the potential to get hot at the right time and shoot a little.

A Super Sunday Article Not About Super Sunday

2011-02-06T01:51:00.001-05:00

After three and half months of silence, here I am resurfacing on the eve of the Super Bowl. So, I must be here to write the 4 millionth Super Bowl preview you’ve seen on the internet? Not so much. Sure, I’m excited about tomorrow’s game, but the truth is that I have about as much valuable analysis to offer as every other blow hard with a blog. In other words, I have nothing. So, instead of throwing out baseless predictions for a game I am yet to see, I thought I would take a few moments and offer some observations about something I did see with my own two eyes today: the current state of college basketball.

Today, I had the good fortune of accompanying one of my great friends to the Tech/Clemson basketball game. Once we arrived and found our seats a little less than desirable, we had the even better fortune of making our way down to great seats on the floor. From this vantage point, we not only had the opportunity to take in a great view of the game, but we had the opportunity to share a few brief moments with the always gracious and entertaining legendary voice of the Jackets, Wes Durham. Sitting right behind Wes, and watching this, well….less than artful game unfold in front of us, I couldn’t help but think about at topic Wes has recently written about and discussed on his radio show: the general public’s waning interest in college basketball. I was particularly pleased to see Wes’s articles on the subject, because it provided me with a little vindication. Specifically, around last year’s NCAA tournament, I engaged in a lengthy email exchange with several of my most die-hard college basketball fan buddies, in which I expressed my fear that, within a generation, college basketball may find itself on par with college baseball in the public consciousness. The reaction I received included a few less than subtle inquiries into my sanity. That said, if you haven’t read Wes’s thoughts on the subject, I encourage you to do so.

You can find part 1 here:

http://www.790thezone.com/blogs/WesDurham/blogentry.aspx?BlogEntryID=10193261

and part 2 here:

http://www.790thezone.com/blogs/WesDurham/blogentry.aspx?BlogEntryID=10193870.

Wes does a much more comprehensive job of examining some of the major problems facing the sport than I plan to do here, but one thing he does not directly address (although I believe he intimates at it in part 2) is the problem that I believe is the single biggest threat to the college game today. Specifically, it appears, at least to the casual observer, that the quality of play in college basketball has declined to nearly unacceptable levels. In fact, at times, the college game is almost unwatchable.

Okay, so I’ve just made a bold statement (desperate attempt to keep your attention? Maybe), but I don’t believe it is without cause. For those of us who grew up in the glory days of college basketball (the golden years of the Big East and ACC in the 80’s and 90’s), the game we see today barely resembles the days of fluid offense that consisted of swift ball movement, open back door cuts, open 17 footers, and only the occasional three point bomb. There was a time when teams that depended heavily on the three ball (i.e. Pitino’s Providence and Kentucky teams) were outliers. Now? Teams hoist the three with reckless abandon. For example, in the three games I watched today (Tech/Clemson; A&M/Baylor; and Gonzaga/Memphis) the total percentages of the field goals taken behind the arc were 33%, 35%, and 42%, respectively. And, the average of the points scored in regulation by the six teams participating in those three games was 63.2 points. Admittedly, this a grossly small sample size, but the numbers support my hypothesis, so I’m going with them. If you have a problem with that, I’ll give you a full refund. Let us continue…

Now, keeping the stats from today’s games in mind, consider that the 3 point shot made up only 27% of the field goal attempts taken by Pitino’s ’95-’96 Kentucky team (one of the aforementioned outliers of the 90’s), and that team averaged….wait for it….you really aren’t going to believe this….91 freaking points per game. In other words, one of the most prolific three point shooting teams of the 90’s took less threes and averaged dozens more points than the teams we now see. Granted, that Kentucky team may have been the greatest of all time, but, again, those stats really help my argument, so let’s just go with them. Agreed? Good.

Seriously, despite the inadequate sample sizes and extreme examples, these figures are important because, in my mind at least, they back up what I’m seeing with my own eyes. The college game has turned into nothing more than a dribble, drive, kick game. What do I mean by that? Well, for the most part, we never see teams come down and run fluid offensive sets, move the ball, hit the cutters, or feed the flashing post men for easy buckets. Instead, we see a point guard bring the ball up, drive to the middle and do one of two things: throw up a shot himself or kick out to a three point shooter on the wing. The result is that teams are scoring in limited ways. Either the guard makes the often wild shot in the lane. Or, the three point shooter knocks down the trey. Or, a big guy, who is never going to get the ball in the confines of the offense, grabs an offensive board and puts it back in. Or, finally, a defender slow on the rotation to stop the initial penetration, or an out of position defensive rebounder, bails out the offense by committing a foul.

The result of all this is that the game looks sloppier, choppier, and we are seeing way too many games played in the 50’s and 60’s. Again, my empirical proof is limited (translation: it’s late and I don’t want to take the time to run a lot of numbers), but let’s just look at the five games played today in the once might ACC. Six of the ten teams that played today scored less than 60 points in regulation. The total average of points scored in regulation by those ten teams was 63.6, and this includes the 91 points thrown up by Maryland against a woeful Wake Forest team. If you want to take it a little further, just look at the Big Ten, which is considered by some to be the best conference in America. Only four teams played in the Big Ten today. They combined for an average of 67 points.

These numbers (again, for the umpteenth time are admittedly limited) support what I’ve been seeing with my own eyes for the past several years: the college game is increasingly tough to watch because, with few exceptions, teams simply do not have the patience, discipline, or commitment to run fluid, cohesive, and effective offense, and the result is less points, which as The Angel of Stern (trademark: Tony Kornheiser) will tell you, can ultimately kill your league.

So, now that we know what I think the problem is, let me tell you what I blame for bringing us to this point. I have two answers: 1) AAU; and 2) Duke. The first answer probably doesn’t surprise you, but the second one might (and, it probably delights some of you). Let’s first address AAU.

In the late 80’s and early 90’s we really started seeing the emergence of the AAU leagues, and more importantly, the AAU coaches as the most important element in recruiting. Since that time, the AAU platform has exploded, and the top players, from the time they are in 8th grade, are playing far more games with their AAU programs than with their school programs. On the surface, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but when you attend an AAU tournament, you start to understand the roots of what we are seeing manifesting itself in the college game. Specifically, as the elite players start to separate themselves from the others, their AAU season turns into their summer long audition. They use the AAU season as an opportunity to showcase their skills for not just the college coaches, but also the shoe execs and every other person hanging around these tournaments that could potentially benefit them over the next few years. The result is that the guards take every possession as an opportunity to prove how easily they can get to the rim, and the shooters take every touch as an opportunity to show their range.

I’ll give you an example. In summer 2006, I traveled to Augusta to watch one of the nation’s largest and most prestigious AAU tournaments, the Peach Jam. While there, I watched Derrick Rose and Eric Gordon play alongside each other. They were awesome. In fact, Rose was breath takingly awesome. The only problem was that nobody on the team seemed to touch the ball other than Rose and Gordon, and Gordon never seemed to venture inside the three point line. Now, five years later, we have seen Derrick Rose become arguably the best point guard in the NBA, with incredible passing skills. Those passing skills, however, went largely uncultivated until he entered the NBA because, quite frankly, there was no need for him to showcase them while playing AAU or in college. Again, it’s just one example, but if AAU can turn one of the most gifted passers of a generation, who knew by the time he was 17 that he was going to play in the NBA, into a non-passing guard focused only on scoring, imagine the effect it has on kids much more desperate to stand out and earn their scholarship.

Now, as for Duke, the argument is a little tougher to sell. Bear with me, though. In 1998, Duke featured a lineup of Will Avery, Trajon Langdon, Chris Carrawell, Elton Brand, and Shane Battier, with Nate James and Corey Maggette coming off the bench. If ever a team was built to run the dribble, drive, and kick offense, it was this team. With Carrawell driving and kicking to Trajon or Will, or with Will driving and kicking to Trajon or Shane, you couldn’t go wrong. Well, unless you have Trajon driving to win a national championship and he walks from Durham to Chapel Hill, but whatever. The point is that this team had great penetrators, a good deep threat with Battier, a great deep threat in Avery, and one of the greatest deep threats of all time with Langdon. They also had Brand, Battier, and Maggette to swallow offensive rebounds. So, since he is the greatest coach that’s ever lived, Coach K embraced his strength and turned his guys lose to be the pioneers of the dribble, drive, kick offense. That team won 37 games and lost to Rip Hamilton, Ricky Moore, Khalid El-Amin and Co. in one of the great national title games of all time. Hard to argue with that success. So, what did Coach K do the next year? He replaced Avery, Maggette, and Langdon with Jason Williams (the motorcycle one, not the limo shooter or white one), Carlos Boozer, and Mike Dunleavy. And, considering Jason Williams was one of the greatest penetrators AND one of the greatest shooters the ACC has ever seen, and since Dunleavy was a pretty deadly shooter (who ultimately became a solid penetrator), and since Boozer was a pretty fair garbage man on the block, they didn’t miss a beat. They continued the dribble, drive, and kick parade. The result? A national championship in 2001. Since then, Duke has not changed it’s identity, and it’s been to two more final fours (’04 and ’10), won another national title (’10), and won six ACC Titles. It is the model program in college basketball, and it is the founder of the dribble, drive, kick attack. So, it’s natural that every other program wants to copy the Blue Devils, right? Well, there’s two big problems: 1) very few programs can attract the talent for the system Duke attracts; and 2) No other program in America has Coach K implementing the system.

So, while dribble, drive, and kick works just fine for Duke, it’s not the answer for the game as a whole. Think about it this way: If I see Brad Pitt wearing a shirt with horizontal stripes and I overhear a woman saying how great he looks in that shirt, should I run out and buy the same shirt? The answer is, of course, a resounding “no”. Why? Brad Pitt is thin with movie star good looks. Horizontal stripes work for him. I’m fat with a face for radio. If I’m wearing stripes, they better be vertical. Some people have the gifts to pull off certain things, and some don’t. If you don’t recognize when you don’t have the gifts to wear horizontal stripes, you aren’t just hurting yourself, you are hurting all those people that have to look at you. Similarly, if you don’t have the talent to run the dribble, drive, kick offense, you aren’t just hurting yourself, you are hurting the fans that you are asking to pay to watch you. And, if you can’t figure that out, ultimately, nobody is going to be left watching you. Don’t believe me? Just check the college basketball ratings and attendance numbers.

Before signing off, let me just make two last points: 1) In the Tech/Clemson game, Clemson actually did a fairly nice job moving the basketball and getting it in the hands of their best post player, Jerai Grant. Consequently, he scored 20, and Clemson shot 57% from the floor. So, maybe there is hope. 2) As those of you that know me well know, I love basketball more than any other sport, and I have spent most of my life as a die-hard college basketball fan. So, this is a topic I really care about and would not only invite conversation and debate on this topic, but I would really enjoy it. In other words, feel free to rip me with impunity.

Weekend Picks...For Informational Purposes Only

2010-10-23T02:20:00.002-04:00

Tonight I went to see Daniel Tosh perform live at the Tabernacle. If you haven't seen his stand-up or his television show, "Tosh.O", do yourself a favor and crawl out from under your basic cable rock, find your way to youtube, and thank me later. Just a tremendously funny guy who does a wonderful job offending everyone. I'm pretty sure the only groups of people he didn't take aim at tonight were college football coaches and players. Well, boys and girls, that's where I come in! Here are the weekend college picks (I'll post the NFL picks at some point before kickoff. It's 2:25 a.m., I took my last injection of caffeine about 2 hours ago, and I can only muster so much insight...er...sarcasm at this late hour. And yes, I too find it sad that my once great days of strong 2:25 a.m. performances around town have now given way to 2:25 a.m. blogging sessions. I'm old. I know it. I don't need you to rub salt in the wound):

1) Northwestern +6.5 v. Michigan State - The Sparty Corollary partially failed me last week. Although South Carolina once again proved that they are who we thought they were (TM: Dennis Green), Sparty actually rallied in the second half to shove the corollary down my throat. I'm sure they were inspired by my negative words. You are welcome, Spartan fans. That said, it's Sparty. They can run from themselves, but they can't hide from the name on the front of the jersey. The fighting Wilbons win this game outright.

2) Penn State -9.5 @ Minnesota - If Joe Paterno was still alive, I'd consider this a lock. What? You can't be serious! Well, regardless of whether he is or isn't actually still breathing, Joe Pa's squad should have no problems with the squad boasting a new head coach and losses to Northern Illinois and South Dakota. While we're here, you know what is a lock:

3) Penn State @ Minnesota UNDER 50 - Did you know that the Lions, playing in honor of Joe Pa's memory (of course), have scored exactly 6 points on the road this year? Well, if you didn't, you do now. Final score: 13-3 Lions. Parlay it. Tease it. Make love to it. Whatever you do, lock it up!

4) Texas -20.5 v. Iowa State - Iowa State has lost 4 games this year by an average of 32 points. Take away their 7 point loss to a very pedestrian K. State team, and their other 3 losses have come by an average of 40.3 points. If that's not enough, in the past two weeks, they have given up 120 points. For you UGA grads, that's 60 points/game over the last two games. Now, look at Texas. They are coming off a season saving victory at #4 ranked Nebraska. I've got some more stats, but I'm really tired, and I think you get the picture. Hook 'em.

5) Va. Tech -27 v. Duke - Thank goodness Delta didn't have that 6 a.m. to McCarran International last Saturday. That said, much like the Sparty Corollary, the "Always go against Duke" Corollary will always pay dividends over time. Plus, it's that time of year when Va. Tech rolls up big numbers and convinces the world they are back on the top of the heap in the ACC. Unfortunately for Va. Tech, this time of year is always followed by November (a/k/a the time of year when Va. Tech loses games they shouldn't lose and continues to build Frank Beamer's resume as the most overrated coach in the country. Yes. I just went there. Win something, Frank, and maybe I'll reconsider).

6) Navy +7 v. Notre Dame - God vs. Country! God wins, but it will be a nail biter.

7) Ole Miss +10 @ Arkansas - Well, nobody plays defense like the SEC! Expect points, and lots of them. And, this game is going to go one of two ways: 1) Ole Miss really does suck, and Arkansas woodsheds them; or 2) We see some of that Houston Nutt magic, and Ole Miss wins a very close game with a ridiculous finish. We haven't seen that Nutt magic yet this year, so this week seems to be as good a time as any. And, remember what I just said about lots of points:

8) Ole Miss @ Arkansas OVER 58

9) LSU +5.5 @ Auburn - It's no secret that I think calling SEC football amateur athletics is about as accurate as saying Maria Sharapova has good taste in men. It's the freaking Wild West filled with scoundrels, and Les Miles is possibly the worst of them all. That said, given his track record of egregious coaching errors and comical clock management never coming back to bite him, the only logical conclusion is that he has made an incredible pact with Satan himself. That's right, Les Miles has struck a deal with Urban Meyer! Consequently, you simply cannot bet against him. Sure, he will suffer for eternity, but while here on earth, he will continue to win football games despite all his overwhelming shortcomings.

10) Georgia Tech @ Clemson OVER 52 - Tech's defense may be just what Kyle Parker needs to get out of his "I can't believe I passed up baseball to play for Dabo Freaking Sweeney and this dysfunctional program" slump he's been in ever since Auburn. And, of course, Clemson has shown no ability to stop the triple option in its first three attempts over the past two years. So, the combination of Tech's offense and defense should easily push this game over.

11) Stanford -36.5 v. Washington State - Why the heck not? If college football employed the same rules as the English Premiere League, Washington State would be playing in the Sun Belt Conference next year.

12) Eastern Michigan +24 @ UVA - Favorite line of the week. I don't know a thing about Eastern Michigan except that it's further east than Western Michigan. All I do know is that UVA shouldn't be laying 24 under any circumstances...EVER!!!

13) South Carolina -12 @ Vandy - Vandy is atrocious, and South Carolina sufficiently crapped the bed last week to tide them over for a while. Don't look for them to lose again until the week after they beat Florida in the Swamp.

14) Alabama -16.5 @ Tennessee - Vandy will likely be favored over UT this year. I think that just about says it all.

15) UGA -4 @ Kentucky - UGA is healthy and suffered no arrests this week. Give yourself a pat on the back, Coach Richt and the Bulldog Nation. Great job by you (TM: The Legendary Chris "Mad Dog" Russo). More important than that, programs like Kentucky don't put two quality wins together back to back. They just don't. On the bright side, UK fans, for the moment you still have 30 basketball wins from last season to give you some comfort. Well, for the moment.

16) Miami -6.5 v. UNC - If Miami doesn't beat this depleted, disheveled, shell of a team by a touchdown, Randy Shannon should go ahead and make the call to his real estate agent. On the bright side, I hear this is an awesome time to sell property in Florida.

17) OU -3 @ Missouri - Bob Stoops has never lost to Missouri. With the BCS title game in sight, he won't start now. Instead, he'll just wait to lose to Oklahoma St. (see 2001 and 2002) or he'll wait to lay an egg in the BCS Title Game (see too many years to count). Sorry, Fite. You know I love Coach Stoops, but I fear he may be destined to be the Bobby Cox of college football.

As we approach 3:30 a.m. (utterly ridiculous that I am doing this at this hour, by the way - I need help), I'm going to wrap this up. Not before, however, wishing a very happy birthday to long time friend and the man that inspired this whole ridiculous WAD idea, Rob Fisher. While the WAD isn't what it once was (primarily because I am lazy, uninspired, and generally devoid of any literary talent or entertaining insight), there was a time when we really had it cooking here, and that was completely the result of Rob's urging and countless contributions. He was a good man and will be missed....Oh, sorry about that. Forgot he's not dead, just a year older. Have a good one, Fish.

For Informational Purposes Only

2010-10-15T23:14:00.003-04:00

We are six weeks into both the college and NFL seasons, and I have made exactly 11 picks. Is this part of some brilliant plan to let the first half of the season unfold in order to gain enough knowledge to nail the second half? Uh...no. Instead, it's more of a simple case of letting real life get in the way of the important stuff. And, by "important stuff", I mean taking the time to pound out 2,000 words devoid of much, if any, logic on a blog that boasts a readership in the teens. I'm very distraught that I've neglected my picks for too long, but I'm even more distraught that I've missed the opportunity to chime in on a plethora of amazing sports stories over the past several weeks including:

The Braves winning the wild card; Bobby Cox using his patented 17 pitchers in the 9th inning of Game 3 against the Giants on his way to one of his also patented gut wrenching post-season losses; me being present to see the opposing team clinch a post-season series against the Braves on our home field for the sixth time in the past 18 years (always leaves you with the same feeling as a kick to the Favre); Michael Vick resurrecting his career; the Redskins nearly killing Michael Vick and his resurrected career; the Patriots shipping Randy Moss off to play with Super Bowl winning quarterback and amateur photographer Brett Favre; Roy Halladay pitching a playoff no-hitter; The 'Ole Ball Coach taking down 'Bama; D. Wade taking his pulled hamstring to South Beach less than 4 minutes into the "Three Kings" era; a guy with Justin Bieber's haircut making four straight birdies to nearly save the Ryder Cup for the U.S.; Hunter Mahan replicating my short game to lose the Ryder Cup for the U.S. (I know, not entirely fair. He had plenty of help in losing the Cup. Thanks, Lefty. You're the best); and, I don't know if you heard, but the aforementioned amateur photographer allegedly took some photos with his cell phone. And, let's not forget, in non-sports related news, T.I. saved a guy's life and went back to jail this week!

Pheeeewwwwwww! That's a lot of stuff I've missed out on, and those are only the ones I could remember off the top of my head. You didn't really expect me to do any research at 11:30 p.m. on a Friday, did you? Speaking of no research, here are my picks for the weekend (Don't forget the rules; 1) gambling = illegal; and 2) My picks will not end well):

COLLEGE

1) FSU -21.5 v. B.C. - After their thrashings of half-way decent BYU and Miami, it feels like things might be returning to normal for the 'Noles. And, by "normal" I mean the way things were about 8 years ago (i.e. beating the crap out of crappy teams).

2) Illinois +7 @ Michigan State - I've always likened MSU to the two programs over in South Carolina: Clemson and South Carolina (no chance I'm ever giving the 'Cocks "USC" status). Specifically, they might be good for a big emotional win every now and then, but if you ever try to ride them, they will buck you. In other words, they can't stand prosperity, and they will find a way to follow up a great performance with a crappy one. Or, as we like to call it here in Atlanta, they will "Gailey" you.

3) East Carolina +7.5 v. N.C. State - A secretly nasty rivalry fueled by two student bases that are pissed they couldn't get into UNC. In rivalry games, always take the points if you have absolutely no idea about one of the teams (I just made that rule up to justify not even looking up the Pirates record).

4) Maryland @ Clemson OVER 47.5 - Clemson should be good for 35 of their own in this one.

5) UGA -14.5 v. Vandy - If UGA has proved anything this year it's that it can lay the wood to woefully over-matched teams between the hedges. Well, they've also proved that terrible defense and untimely turnovers lead to losses against slightly over-matched teams (actually seems to be a theme throughout Georgia this year). Fortunately for UGA, A.J. Green appears to have found his jersey, and Vandy is more than woefully over-matched.

6) Miami -19.5 @ Duke - It's Miami coming off a loss, and it's Duke for God's sake. I actually just did my first bit of research. I checked delta.com to see if it was possible for me to get to Vegas before this game kicks at 1 p.m. eastern time tomorrow. Unfortunately, flight 2203 is the first flight out, and it lands at exactly 1 p.m. eastern time. Wouldn't it make sense to have a 6 a.m. flight during football season? You know, so you can accommodate the crowd that looks at lines at 11:30 on Friday night and decides to go hammer away against Duke? Can somebody at Delta please look into this?

7) Western Michigan +24 @ Notre Dame - Whooooooaaaaaaaaa! Notre Dame laying 24 to anybody? Really? Have I fallen in a hot tub time machine and been transported back to 1988? Is Tony Rice starting at quarterback? What am I missing here?

8) Arkansas + 3.5 @ Auburn - Here's my bold prediction of the week: Arkansas wins this game by at least two touchdowns. Sure, they can't run the ball. And, sure, their defense is suspect. No disputing those facts, but, I'm telling you, there is something about Auburn that feels a lot like the girl that describes herself as "athletic and toned" on the online dating website but only posts pictures from the neck up with their head cocked to the side. In other words, we aren't getting the whole story from the Tigers.

9) MTSU @ Georgia Tech OVER 59 - Tech should score a lot of points, and we know the Jackets' defense is a threat to give up 30 to anybody.

10) Texas +9.5 @ Nebraska - I saw that Colt McCoy is getting the start this week. Who cares if it's for the Browns? I'm taking it as a good sign for the 'Horns. Seriously, I like what I've seen from Nebraska this year, but do you really believe Texas is going to drop it's third straight game without putting up a huge fight?

11) Kentucky +5 v. South Carolina - See #2 above. We'll call it the Sparty corollary.

12) Florida -8 v. Miss. State - If Florida is any semblance of what it has been since the Devil not named Les Miles or Nick Saban arrived in Gainesville, they will woodshed the Bulldogs (yes, I totally just turned a noun into a verb again. In case you haven't noticed, I'm quite fond of that). If they aren't any semblance of what they have been, that's actually great news. In other words, take the Gators to set up the classic win/win (a/k/a the reason I usually take UGA).

NFL

1) Philly -3 v. Atlanta

2) Pittsburgh -13 v. Cleveland (I would pay good money to see the Pittsburgh crowd lustily boo Roethlisberger, but sadly, they won't)

3) Chicago -6 v. Seattle

4) Detroit + 10 @ NYG

5) Baltimore +2.5 @ NE

6) San Diego -8 @ St. Louis

7) Miami +3 @ Green Bay

8) New Orleans -4 @ Tampa

9) Houston -4.5 v. K.C.

10) Denver +3 v. NYJ

11) Oakland +6.5 @ San Francisco

12) Dallas + 1.5 @ Minnesota

13) Indy -3 @ Washington

14) Jax +3 v. Tennessee (worst MNF game I can remember)

For Informational Purposes Only

2010-09-10T16:09:00.001-04:00

Every year, the first weekend of college football rolls around, and I commence my four month journey of mediocre prognostications. The journey always starts with a disastrous week 1, which requires a season long effort to try to fight back to .500. In case you aren’t familiar with the concept of “picking” games, batting .500 is not a good thing. In fact, it makes you a loser. By way of example, if you walked into a Vegas casino to wager $100 on 100 games throughout the season (you, of course, would go to Vegas, or maybe Tahoe (if you don’t mind depressing sports books and below average steak houses) so your wagers would comply with the law), and you went .500, you would lose roughly $500 for the season. In order to break even, you would need to bat closer to .550.

Now, keeping that in mind, if you triple the number of picks each year, you extend the number of years to about a decade, and you decrease your batting average to about .450, you would likely consider yourself very lucky that you don’t live in Nevada. Trust me, you would. You might also consider not making any week 1 picks this season in order to avoid the inevitable disaster, right? Well, in my case, I wish I was so wise. Instead, I overslept last Saturday morning and didn’t have time to get the week 1 picks on paper. So, this week, I’m doing the only reasonable thing I could think of. I’m taking Friday afternoon off work to give you the picks. And, just for consistency sake, I’m skipping week 1 of the NFL.

1) West Virginia -13 @ Marshall – Why not kick things off with a road favorite? I can’t think of anything more reasonable. Then again, Marshall is awful. Really, they are terrible and Matthew McConaughey and the dude from “Party of Five” aren’t walking through that door. And yes, I know that the dude from “Party of Five” went on to star in “Lost”, but I never hopped on the “Lost” bandwagon. I, however, never hopped off the “Party of Five” bandwagon. Enjoy the heckling.

2) Wake Forest -6 v. Duke – This game invokes my favorite rule: If Duke is getting less than two touchdowns on the road and you don’t go the other way, you might as well play the slots. Translation? You are dumb if you don’t go against Duke here.

3) Georgia Tech @ Kansas OVER 49.5 - I had the opportunity to witness the Jackets’ new and improved Al Groh led defense live and in person last week. I am also aware that North Dakota State held Kansas to a field goal last week. I am also confident Kansas will put up 21 points this week. The take away? Tech’s defense might actually just be the Al Groh led defense.

4) South Carolina -3 v. UGA - If I had known I could have bought off A.J. Greene for $1000, I would have done it when he was a senior in high school. A.J., if you are reading, some buddies and I have another grand for you that you can pick up from us the Friday after Thanksgiving.

5) UF -16 v. South Florida – We’ve been over this before, Urban Meyer is an enormous jerk. And, when an enormous jerk is embarrassed, like Urban was last weekend, an enormous jerk responds by becoming a gigantic jerk. Unfortunately for South Florida, gigantic jerks like to do things like throw for meaningless touchdowns late in games. In other words, no spread is safe when gigantic jerks are involved. (Editor’s Note: I felt like a “dork” using the word “jerk”, but it’s a public forum so my options were limited. Again, enjoy the heckling.)

6) FSU +7 @ OU – I honestly have no idea how this game will unfold, but picking against OU will anger my buddy, Fite, and it’s always fun to anger Fite.

7) Michigan +3.5 @ Notre Dame - Two once great programs. The difference is one was great less than five years ago and the other was last great when I was an altar boy. I was an altar boy a long time ago.

8) Miami +8.5 @ OSU – Rumor is that Lebron James will be in attendance. Rumor also has it that God officially hates Cleveland. Actually, that’s not so much a rumor as an empirically provable fact. The combination of LBJ’s karma and God’s disdain means good things for the ‘Canes. Plus, did you see this picture of Jacory Harris: http://yfrog.com/juq6vpj ? How can you not believe in this guy?

9) Vandy +10 v. LSU – Les Miles is to college football coaches what David Kahn is to NBA GMs. That’s not a compliment. On a related note, I don’t know the name of a single Vandy player or their coach. Very solid analysis here. You get what you pay for. You are welcome.

10) Washington -11 v. Syracuse - Three things to consider here: 1) Washington’s quarterback apparently may be the #1 overall pick in next year’s NFL draft (I heard this on the radio this week and was startled when I had to stop and ask, “what’s that guy’s name”?); 2) Syracuse is traveling 3,000 miles to play this game; and 3) Last year, Syracuse started a bad point guard at quarterback, which means they are either starting a freshman at quarterback this year or a guy that wasn’t good enough to beat out a bad point guard. On balance, none of this seems good for the ‘Cuse.

11) Alabama -12 v. Penn State – I really liked considering three things, so let’s do it again: 1) 101,821 rabid ‘Bama fans that stake their entire self worth on the success of their professional (not a typo) football team will have a full day to “prepare” for a 7 p.m. kickoff; 2) Penn State is starting a freshman quarterback against one of the fastest defenses in professional football…I mean, the SEC….; and 3) ‘Bama is the defending national champion. Actually, it’s so much fun considering things, let’s do two more: 4) Penn State’s coach was old enough to drive when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor; and 5) Re-read the section above about gigantic jerks and then cross-reference to Saban, Nick.

My Decision on "The Decision"

2010-07-14T00:23:00.003-04:00

You didn’t really think I was going to let the LeBron James “Decision” pass by without chiming in, did you? Truth be told, immediately after watching the hour long debacle last Thursday, I was ready to pound out 3,000 words. I, however, decided to take some time and let the news sink in. In part, I wanted to let some of the back stories come out. And, in part, I didn’t want to offer a knee jerk reaction and come across like a hyperbolic moron. Too bad Cavs owner Dan Gilbert didn’t do the same. Ah, who am I kidding? Gilbert’s letter turned out to be one of the most fascinating things to come out of this whole insane situation. It was hilarious, ridiculous, idiotic, insane, horribly offensive, and it was the greatest use of all caps and exclamation points this side of Kim Kardashian’s Twitter feed. Frankly, I’m still not sure Mel Gibson wasn’t the author. In other words, thanks for the entertainment, Danny. All that said, where do I stand on this whole situation? Well, I have to break it down into two parts:

Part I – The Delivery

Before we get to the actual decision and its ramifications, we simply cannot ignore the hour long LeBron self love fest we witnessed last Thursday. And, as I typically do, I’m going to cop out and address it with seven questions and answers:

7) Was the television special necessary? If LeBron’s goal was to reveal himself as a self consumed 25 year old gazillionaire that loves the spotlight while alienating every NBA fan in 49 ½ states (at least temporarily), the answer is a resounding “Yes”. If his goal was ANYTHING else (do I have to pay Dan Gilbert royalties for the all caps?), then the answer is a resounding “No”. I’m going to give LBJ the benefit of the doubt and assume his goal was the latter and chalk this answer up as a “No”.

6) Was the television special a big middle finger to Cleveland? Honestly, for the 72 hours following the announcement, I absolutely felt this answer was an unequivocal “Yes”. Then, I saw Rachel Nichols’ interview with the Recalcitrant 3 (a big prize to the first person to get that reference), and I changed my opinion. Why? After watching LeBron’s demeanor and listening to his answers, I am convinced that he is 100% happy with where he is and how he arrived there. In other words, I think he is presently so consumed with himself that he wasn’t acting maliciously when he made the announcement. Instead, I am convinced that he simply felt that he was entitled (more on this word in a moment…) to this spotlight, and he felt America wanted to dedicate an hour of their lives to hear his decision and his reasons for it. And, you know what? He was right. For all the bitching and moaning about the ESPN special, not the least of which has been from me, the special did a 7.3 rating, which dwarfed the rating ABC garnered when LBJ and the Cavs played in the NBA Finals in ’07. Does the rating justify the self indulgence? Of course not. I mean, millions of people are watching the series finale of “The Hills” tonight. Does that justify “The Hills” existence?

5) Should we be surprised that LeBron is a self consumed athlete that was insensitive to the long suffering fans in his home town? Based on what I just wrote in the preceding paragraph, I bet you are expecting me to say “No”. I bet you are expecting me to mount a spirited defense of LeBron and claim that we, the celebrity obsessed fans, have engaged in such hero worship that we have actually enabled and encouraged LBJ’s self indulgence and obsession. Well, you would be right.

Honestly, in the wake of the Tiger Woods scandal, it absolutely blows my mind that anybody is still surprised that any of our biggest sports stars and celebrities are raging ego maniacs. In his own historically awful television special, Tiger himself explained how he felt he was “entitled” to live the life he did. Why should we be surprised that LBJ, the only athlete we have that approaches the same level of fame as Tiger, would similarly feel entitled to his hour of self indulgence? Don’t get me wrong. I’m not blaming these guys. I’m not judging these guys. And, I’m not excusing these guys. All I’m saying is that any act of public (or private in Tiger’s case) self indulgence should not surprise us.

4) Should we be surprised that LeBron announced his decision on an hour long nationally televised special? In light of my previous answer, I bet you are expecting me to give this question a quick and dismissive “No”. In this case, you would be incorrect. While I believe that we should not be surprised that LBJ was capable of this type of self indulgence, I’m still shocked that he went through with this disaster. To draw again from the Tiger scandal, if athletes and celebrities learned nothing else from that disaster, shouldn’t they have learned that controlling and delivering the message in a manner that appeases the public is far more important than the message itself? Obviously, LBJ and his advisors didn’t learn this lesson. If anything from this entire debacle is shocking, it’s the fact that, only 8 months after Tiger wrote the book on how not to handle a difficult situation, LBJ decided to write the epilogue. It’s completely stupefying.

3) Was there a “right” way for LBJ to handle this announcement? Absolutely! In fact, it was very easy. The moment LBJ decided he wasn’t going back to Cleveland (or immediately after Game 6 against Boston if he already knew he was leaving), he should have called a press conference in his high school gym in Akron, and he should have said this:

I love Ohio. I love Akron, Cleveland, and all the Cavs fans around the country. That said, I am 25 years old, and I have spent my entire life in Ohio. For the past 7 years, I have given everything I have to the Cavs and the pursuit of a championship for Ohio. Unfortunately, we have come up short, and I will always regret this. The time has come, however, for me to move on. I’m not sure where I will play next year, but it will not be in Cleveland. This decision has nothing to do with the Cavs or the people of Ohio. It is about me and my desire, at age 25, to experience something new and to seek new challenges. I know this decision will be met with much consternation in Ohio, but I only hope you believe me when I say that I truly hope time will heal all wounds and the Cavs fans will one day understand my decision and will always think of me as a proud son of Ohio.

Then, once he decided on a new team, he should have held a typical press conference at the offices of the new team, holding his new jersey. THAT’S IT!!!! (Again, thanks for the all caps motivation, Danny). If he follows this plan (i.e. the “it’s not you, it’s me” plan), Cleveland is pissed in the short term, but they get over it eventually, and Cleveland’s friends respect LBJ’s candor, and maybe one day LBJ hooks up with one of Cleveland’s friends after they run into each other at a party! At any rate, there was an easy solution for LBJ and a “right” way to handle this situation. The thing that really infuriates me is not that LBJ took the route he did, it’s that he is paying some guys millions of dollars to advise him to take that route when the correct route was so damn easy. If anybody sees LBJ, please tell him I’m happy to advise him for a fraction of what these clowns are charging him.

2) What did LeBron gain by holding the hour long special? Nothing.

1) What did LeBron lose by holding the hour long special? In the short term, a lot of fans. In the long term, nothing. In three years, if LBJ, Wade, and Bosh are wearing two rings, all will be forgotten. Winning leads to forgiveness (see Bryant, Kobe). Forgiveness leads to billion dollar Nike ad campaigns (again, see Bryant, Kobe). Billion dollar Nike ad campaigns lead to unfathomable levels of fame, fortune, and love from the fans (once again, see Bryant, Kobe). In short (and, I do mean short because I’ve already typed Kobe Bryant’s name four more times than I can stomach), if Kobe can come back from his “ordeal”, LBJ will be just fine. If we, as fans, have proved one thing over and over, it’s that we just can’t stay mad at our stars. If they win, we flock. Don’t believe me? You don’t have to ask Kobe. David Ortiz, Andy Petite, and Alex Rodriguez can enlighten you.

Part II – The Decision

I will be brief. I promise. When I first heard the announcement, I was angry. I was furious that LeBron would shrink from the challenge of leading his own team to a championship. I was furious that he would team up with D. Wade on D. Wade’s team. Why was I furious? Because, I believe that LBJ is the only player I have ever seen that has the chance to achieve the all around greatness MJ achieved. And, given the fact that I loved everything about the MJ era, I was truly hopeful I could relive it to some degree through LBJ. But, in an instant, LBJ eliminated any chance of that. I agree whole heartedly with Bill Simmons, Charles Barkley, and everyone else that has made the point that MJ would have wanted to beat D. Wade, not play with him. I also agree with those folks that, by choosing to play with D. Wade, LBJ has diminished the “greatness” of every title he may win in the future. I agree with all those things for all the same reasons Simmons, et. al. have already expressed. And, for those reasons, I was angry when LBJ announced the “Decision”.

Six days later, however, I am happy to report that I have gained a little perspective, and I am now far from angry with LBJ’s decision. Why? Well, first of all, at some point I remembered that this whole thing is about sports, which, for a 32 year old out of shape working stiff, should be nothing more than an entertaining distraction from real life and should, under no circumstances lead to anger (other than Georgia Tech, Hawks, Falcons, or Braves losses – I’ve gained perspective. I didn’t have a lobotomy) Second, I actually thought about what was going on here. Specifically, a 25 year old guy decided that he wanted to do something that made him happy. He decided that he wanted to make 9 figures while working with some of his best friends in a city that boasts some of the most fun activities and beautiful women in the world. Now, please re-read the previous two sentences and tell me one thing about them that sounds even the least bit crazy. I’ll save you the time…you can’t. When you look at LBJ’s decision in plain and unambiguous terms, it makes perfect sense. When I was 25, I spent my time occasionally attending class and studying, frequently playing playstation, and more frequently drinking at every bar in Manhattan that didn’t have a cover charge. In other words, when I was 25, if somebody gave me an opportunity remotely similar to LBJ’s opportunity, I would have pulled both hamstrings running to jump on it. Hell, if somebody gave it to me now, the only difference would be that I would throw my back out in addition to pulling the hammies.

As for the MJ issue, it is what it is. In my mind, and the mind of many others, LBJ has given up the opportunity to stand shoulder to shoulder with the greatest of all time. I sense that he understands that, and he is clearly okay with it. Therefore, any regret I have over his decision is a me problem, not an LBJ problem. Therefore, at the end of the day, I hate the way he announced it, but I am okay with his decision. And, as a lover of the game, I can now admit something I would have never admitted 6 days ago: I cannot wait to watch these guys play together. If nothing else, it will be entertaining as hell.

Now that I have officially signed off on the Recalcitrant 3 in Miami, it’s time for me to turn my attention to sharing my thoughts on the World Cup. The good news about that is that I have four years before anybody cares about soccer again, so I should have no problem getting that piece together in time.

Same Book...New Chapter

2010-06-03T00:04:00.002-04:00

One of the great joys in life is re-reading one of your favorite books or re-watching one of your favorite movies. For example, a good friend of mine told me today that he just recently stumbled across a late night showing of "Hoosiers" and, despite the fact the clock wound well into the early morning hours, he couldn't stop watching. Why? Because "Hoosiers" is one of his favorite movies (and, if it isn't one of yours, you should probably move on to another site), and he couldn't tear himself away. That's the way it is with the great works of literature or cinema. You know exactly how the story ends, but the journey toward the ending is just too entertaining to pass up. In many ways, the Celtics-Lakers rivalry is the same. When a Finals match up between the two storied franchises materializes, we know we won't be able to tear ourselves away from the television. The difference between the rivalry and those great books or movies, however, is that we don't know the ending of each chapter of the rivalry. This uncertainty, of course, only makes the anticipation for the journey toward the ending all the more enticing.

When I think Celtics-Lakers, no matter how long I live and how many incarnations of the drama I am lucky enough to witness, I will always think first of Magic and Bird. In some ways it is unfair to all the other great players that faced off in those three epic battles in the '84, '85, and '87 Finals, but the images that endure for me are those of Magic's and The Legend's great successes and equally devastating failures in those series. Even though the MJ era turned my love of basketball into a life long obsession, I can thank Magic and Larry (and to a lesser degree, Isaih) for that remarkable stretch between 1984 and 1990 in which I truly fell in love with the game.

Two years ago, 21 years after the last time these two franchises had faced off in the Finals, we were treated to a renewal of the rivalry. It would be hyperbole to call that series great, but it would be completely fair to call it memorable. From Paul Pierce's injury and return in Game 1 (sure, the wheel chair may have been excessive) to the Celtics' stunning Game 4 comeback and the ultimate Game 6 shellacking, the series was played with a staggering level of intensity that was worthy of the two franchises. But now, as we approach the tip off of the latest chapter in the rivalry, the anticipation is even greater than it was in 2008. Why? Well, I'm glad you asked. Here, in old school WAD style, are the seven reasons why I believe this is the most anticipated NBA Finals since MJ walked away in 1998 (yes, I know he came back a few years later, but I choose to pretend like that never happened):

1) The surprise factor. Raise your hand if after the Celtics closed the season 3-7 in their last 10 games you thought they would make the NBA Finals. Now, if you just raised your hand, please go look in a mirror. You see that person in the mirror? That person is lying. Nobody in their right mind thought this aging team that, over the past 18 months, desperately tried to trade one hall of famer (Ray Allen) and one guy that suddenly looks like he could be a hall of famer (Rajon Rondo) would make the Finals. The Hawks swept the season series with the Celtics for heaven's sake! It's simply unfathomable what they have done in plowing through D. Wade, Lebron, and Dwight Howard. If we've learned nothing else from this Celtics run, we've learned these three things: a) never count out a team with three first ballot hall of famers; b) Vince Carter is really fun to root against; and c) If this were college basketball, the Eastern Conference might have been a three bid league.

2) Rondo. Forget the numbers. Forget the fact that he can't hit a 15 foot jumper. Forget the fact that he looks like he might be the first alien to play in the NBA since Sam Cassell. Can you ever remember a guy going from All-Star to Super Star status as quickly and authoritatively as Rondo has in these playoffs? And, can you ever remember a guy going from somewhat forgettable to thoroughly mesmerizing on a basketball court this quickly? The only way you can't enjoy the surgence (I just made that word up) of Rondo is if you are a Kentucky fan that had to watch him labor under Tubby Smith. Not such a great job by you, Tubby.

3) Kobe. Not much to say here. If he beats a worthy opponent like the Celtics for his 5th Title and his 2nd non-Shaq title, there is no denying he is one of the greatest of all time. Hell, you probably can't deny it now, but at least you still have an argument. Listen, nobody hates the way Kobe has played the games at times more than me. Nobody is quicker than me to point out how he destroyed his team in '04 Finals, the '07 playoffs against Phoenix, or the '08 Finals. But, nobody is quicker than me to admit that there is NOBODY I would rather have with the ball in his hands with everything on the line than Kobe. That being said, fair or not, I believe this series will shape his legacy, for better or worse. If he wins, all the negative on the court stuff vanishes into thin air once and for all, and he takes his place in history just below MJ. But let's be clear. Unless he cures cancer or stops the oil spill in the Gulf, he will never rise higher...never.

4) Artest. There is no substitute for the ever present possibility of insanity. There was a reason every Mike Tyson fight was riveting. There is a reason you get a little excited every time you see Emmit Smith with a microphone in front of him. And, there is a reason it never gets old watching the clip of Kevin Garnett incomprehensibly screaming after winning the title in '08. People acting insanely on live television can be great fun, and with Artest in the mix it's not a question of if he will do something insane, it's when.

5) KG. Uhhh, see #4 above.

6) Phil Jackson. The greatest team sports coach of my lifetime with his future in limbo. If he wins, will he stay? If he loses, will he stay? If he moves his shoulders, will his whole body tumble over? So many questions. Seriously, the Phil Jackson story is one of the most intriguing subplots of this series. Personally, I'm praying that, win or lose, he is coaching the Nets next year. I would pay money for a new channel that only broadcast every conversation between him and the big Russian guy that now owns the Nets.

7) Lebron. Granted, the Lebron saga and the Free Agent Summit has nothing to do with the Finals, but I'm pretty sure anybody talking or writing about the NBA right now is required by law to mention it, so I'm just carrying out my legal obligation.

So, there are my seven reasons why I'm beyond excited about the '10 Finals. As for the actual games, unlike '08, I think it's a mis-match. I think Pau is too skilled inside for this version of KG, and he's too mobile on the outside for Perkins. I think Artest will grab, trip, punch, and disrupt Pierce into utter frustration. I think Phil will continue to whine and bitch to and about the refs to the point that you won't be able to look at Kobe without drawing a whistle. And, as for Kobe, this is the moment for which he has waited his entire life. As much as it pains me, I just don't see any way he doesn't put in a virtuoso performance and cement his legacy as the greatest Laker of all time. Now, if you will excuse me, I'm going to go rip my finger nails off one by one.

Prediction: Lakers in 5 and Kobe wins the MVP.

Nobody to Blame But Myself

2010-04-29T22:06:00.003-04:00

As I begin writing this entry, the Mavs and Spurs just began the fourth quarter of their Game 6. Dirk is throwing in ridiculous bank shots. George Hill continues to make corner 3's. Ginobili is throwing his body around recklessly while sporting the most ridiculous tape job I've ever seen over his nose. Honestly, if that thing was a Breathe Rite strip, it might keep me from snoring. Even Richard Jefferson and Jason Kidd look like they care tonight. And, to top it off, Reggie Miller is on pace to shatter Troy Aikman's record for stating the obvious in a single sports broadcast. In other words, every body involved in this Game 6 brought their "A" game tonight. And, frankly, isn't that what you would expect to see from two proud franchises in the most important game of their seasons?

Read that previous sentence again. What word stands out? For me, it's "proud". Unfortunately, watching these two teams go toe to toe while leaving their guts on the floor highlights even brighter what we learned about the Atlanta Hawks 24 hours ago: the Hawks are not a "proud" franchise. Think I'm being harsh? Well, would a proud franchise EVER allow a team led by a 19 year old kid and Carlos F. Delfino (for the record, I have no idea what Carlos' middle name is...I chose the F for my own reasons) to dominate it in the fourth quarter of a must win playoff game on its home floor? Would a proud franchise's players EVER start screaming and pointing fingers at one another as it's season was crashing down around them? (I'm conveniently choosing to forget the Scottie Pippen "If you are drawing this play up for Kukoc, I'm going to sit my ass right here on this bench like a four year old" game for the moment). And, if you want to go back two years (and, I do), would one of the best young players on a proud franchise ever willingly ditch that franchise and go play in Greece? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, I would kindly ask you to stop reading now. You aren't going to like what follows.

The truth is that I'm not angry at the Hawks for being a less than proud franchise. Instead, I'm angry at myself for getting sucked in and believing that, after a lifetime of disappointment and ineptitude, the Hawks had finally turned the corner. I'm angry at myself for spending the last three years constantly saying, "hey, we are getting better each year...we are really building something here." I'm angry at myself for spending the last six months saying, "I really think Jamal Crawford is the X factor that makes us a contender." And, most of all, I'm angry at myself for being shocked last night when the curtain came crashing down and the same old Hawks franchise was standing there exposed for all the world to see.

Again, I'm not angry at the Hawks. It's not their fault. They are what they have always been. They haven't changed. I'm the one that ignored all the signs that this team was no different from the litany of past Hawks teams that have left me empty (i.e. an embarrassingly weak Eastern Conference, a heavy crunch time reliance on one of the streakiest and most selfish NBA players of the past decade (Crawford), an even heavier crunch time reliance on an offense that makes Paul Hewitt's offensive sets look ingenious, and a complete lack of any scoring presence in the post). Most of all, however, I'm the one that ignored a lifetime of evidence that the Hawks do not have the wherewithal to be a proud NBA franchise.

The Hawks moved to Atlanta in 1968. That's 9 years before I was born. In their 41 seasons in Atlanta, including this season, the Hawks have made the playoffs 26 times. Of those 26 playoff appearances, the Hawks have NEVER...I repeat, NEVER advanced to the Eastern Conference Finals. I'm not talking about winning a championship. I'm not even talking about making the NBA Finals. I'm talking about making the Conference Finals. In other words, in their 41 years in Atlanta, the Hawks have never been one of the best four teams in the NBA. Hell, the proudest moment in the franchise's history came when 'Nique engaged in a legendary duel with The Legend in a second round Game 7 LOSS in '88 (I'm going crazy with the ALL-CAPS). Let me repeat, the proudest moment in franchise history came in a loss 22 years ago! To make matters worse, the first Hawks game I remember attending was a Game 5 home loss to Jack "The Perm" Sikma and Milwaukee in the first round in '84. And, oh by the way, for the past five years we haven't even known who owns this freaking franchise!

In the face of all that evidence, I somehow convinced myself that things were now different. Again, I can't blame the Hawks for that. I only have myself to blame. Allowing myself to believe in this team was the sports fan equivalent of Elin agreeing to meet Tiger for breakfast at Perkins. Sometimes, you just have to know better.

In light of everything I've just written, I imagine you are expecting me to now declare that I've finally learned my lesson. That I finally know better. That I will not be watching Game 6 tomorrow night. Unfortunately, you would be wrong. I'll be in front of the TV. I'll be screaming. At some point in the second half, I'm sure I'll be talking myself back into Jamal Crawford. If we win, I'm sure I'll start talking myself into how a Game 7 win will give us the momentum to steal Game 1 from the Magic. In other words, I will go down the same road I have since I left the Omni after The Perm broke my heart in '84. On the bright side, I hear Perkins serves a great breakfast.

Hello, Stranger!

2010-04-19T22:04:00.005-04:00

It's been a while. 5 months, you say? Well, a lot has happened since we last saw each other. I mean, when we last met in this space, I thought Tiger's biggest concerns were his injuries from the car accident. Little did we know that he was so inspired by Amy Adams' performance in "Julie and Julia" that he decided to spend a year of his life cooking his way through Magic Johnson's pre-1991 cook book.

And that horrible joke, my friends, is the only thing I am ever going to say about the Tiger Woods scandal. Why? Because now that Billy Payne and Jim Nantz have told the world how we are supposed to feel about Tiger, the issue is settled, right? Once upon a time (i.e. about 8 days ago), I was a Nantz fan. In fact, I was even willing to conveniently ignore the fact that he was still allowed to announce the Final Four despite the fact that he is no better than CBS' fifth best college play-by-play guy. However, after his self righteous attack on Tiger over the entire Masters weekend and on Simmons' podcast last Monday (not to mention his nauseating false modesty on that same podcast), I'm no longer willing to give him a pass. If I was motivated and knew how to publish a website, I would have already started an online campaign to have Gus Johnson do next year's Final Four and the voice of the late Earl Woods do the '11 Masters. I know. I know. CBS would never let Gus do the Final Four. Thanks to the magic of Phil Knight, however, that is the only problem with my plan.

Okay, that's enough of that. Frankly, that's enough from me right now. I just wanted to take the opportunity to let you know I'm back, and I haven't forgotten about you. There should be plenty to come in the weeks and months ahead as the NBA Playoffs unfold, Jack Bauer puts in his final hours, Crosby and Ovechkin fight for the Stanley Cup, and "American Idol" and "Dancing With the Stars" move closer to crowning their champions. I'm just kidding. I don't watch hockey.

Bizarre Thoughts on a Bizarre Night

2009-11-29T01:38:00.002-05:00

I just walked in the door of WAD Palace after attending one of the truly strangest college football games I’ve ever witnessed. I, of course, am referring to UGA’s 30-24 triumph at Grant Field tonight. There is a lot I could say about what went down on the Flats tonight, but every stream of thought brings me back to two things. Actually, two men. Paul Johnson and Mark Richt. And no, I’m not here to talk about the mistakes they made or to tell you why one is better than the other (for the record, they both made a few mistakes (i.e. not sure why Richt didn’t go for the jugular with 3 minutes left instead of seemingly settling for a 50+ yard field goal to ice the game, and I’m not sure why Paul Johnson called three consecutive bombs from around mid-field with less than two minutes left.)). Instead, I’m here to tell you why fans of the two major college football programs in this state should be very happy to have these two men running their respective programs.

As for Richt, the fact that he brought his highly criticized 6-5 squad into Atlanta against the #7 ranked Jackets and walked out with a victory is, on its face, impressive. The real beauty of the win, however, is how he went about doing it. I don’t know exactly what Mark Richt said to his team this week, but I imagine it was something like, “fellas, we are bigger and stronger than these guys up front, and we aren’t going to win any style points, but we are going to run it down their throats all night.” And that, of course, is exactly what they did. I know this sounds pretty simple, and you are probably asking why I think this was so impressive. Well, I’m glad you asked.

Anybody that lives in this city and reads the paper, listens to sports talk radio, or has a friend or co-worker that is a UGA fan knows that Mark Richt has been much maligned for last week’s loss to Kentucky and for a disappointing 6-5 season. Setting aside the fact that this criticism has been overblown , if not irrational, it’s been there, and it’s been something Richt has had to deal with. Given that, it would have been easy for Richt to over-think things and try to come out with a “brilliant” game plan to re-prove his genius to his constituency. In other words, it would have been easy for Richt to fall in the style over substance trap. But, unfortunately for the Jackets, Richt didn’t do that. Instead, he grasped the importance of this moment, and he went in his bunker and took his team back to basics. And, you know what? In doing so, he came out with a game plan that was brilliant in its simplicity. So, at the end of the day, he ignored his detractors, set aside his own ego, and put his program above himself. In other words, he did exactly what a great coach is supposed to do. It truly kills me to say this, but great job by you, Mark. (TM: Mike “Mad Dog” Russo).

As for Johnson, this game, while a loss, was bizarrely a glaring example of why the Tech program is in the right hands. Imagine if you will that a Chan Gailey coached Yellow Jacket team was down 17-3 to UGA at the half and was getting blown off the ball on every Bulldog snap. Does that game end 41-3? 48-10? 55-10? It, of course, is impossible to say, but I can guaranty you this: Tech would have never had the ball with a chance to win the game in the final two minutes, and I would have been at home long before the final second ticked off the clock. Under Johnson, the Jackets managed to incredibly play themselves into an opportunity to win the game while not forcing a single UGA punt. If you watched this game, you know that it was absolutely incredible that Tech had a chance to win it. I honestly still can't believe it unfolded the way it did. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe in moral victories, and, as a Tech fan, this loss hurts terribly. But, as I stood in the Southwest corner of Bobby Dodd Stadium watching the final four Tech plays from scrimmage, I was completely dumbfounded that we were somehow in position to win the game. Upon reflection, however, I really shouldn’t have been that stunned because this game was a microcosm of our entire season. How so? Well, let me explain.

I have been attending Tech games since I was a child. Over twenty years now. And, in that time, I’ve only missed a few games, and I’ve seen a good number of away games. In other words, I may have attended 100 Georgia Tech football games through the years (maybe less, but 100 looks more impressive in writing than 90), and I have never felt more helpless with our defense on the field as I have this year. Never. Not even when Charlie Ward was ripping our hearts out in ’92, when Peter Warrick was toying with us in ’98, or when Woody Dantzler was breaking records against us in 2001. NEVER!!! I don’t know whether this year’s defense suffered from a lack of talent (hard to believe with Derek Morgan and Morgan Burnett on the field), poor coaching (hard to say since I know about as much about good diet habits as I do defensive schemes), or some combination of the two (probably the most likely scenario), but I do know that I am literally terrified every time our defense steps on the field. The defense is the Jackets’ fatal flaw. And, even with this fatal flaw, Coach Johnson managed to lead this team to 10 wins, a division championship, and a potential conference title and Orange Bowl appearance.

Do me a favor. Re-read the previous paragraph and then try to explain to me how any of this is possible. Unbelievable. The problem with a fatal flaw, however, is that you can hide it and you can fight it, but ultimately, by definition, it is going to kill you. Well, twice this year, it killed the Jackets. It’s no coincidence, however, that these two times were against two of the four opponents we confronted (Miami and UGA) that were physically superior in the trenches and had the conviction to consistently exploit that superiority. The other two times we confronted such an opponent (Clemson and Va. Tech), Coach Johnson found a way to fight off that fatal flaw and steal a victory. And, next week, Coach Johnson has to find a way to fight if off one more time against Clemson. Will he be able to do this? Right now, there is no way to know, but he’s batting .500 so far, so it’s certainly possible.

To bring things full circle, setting aside my disappointment about tonight’s outcome, my ultimate takeaway from tonight is that I had the pleasure of watching the second matchup between two great coaches that are going to engage in many more riveting battles in the years to come. UGA is going to win some, and Tech is going to win some. I think the years of extended winning streaks on either side are over. The reason? Both these coaches are too good to let that happen.

Finally, for the record, I am keenly aware that it is completely out of character for me to find the positive in a situation like tonight’s loss. Trust me, I’m just as surprised as anybody. But, as I’ve said before, the greatest thing about sports is when it delivers the completely unexpected.

For Informational Purposes Only

2009-11-13T17:24:00.003-05:00

Since 11:01 p.m. last Sunday night, I have desperately wanted to write something incredibly insightful and articulate about the Season 3 finale of "Mad Men". I've started writing on three different occasions, and each time I've run into a brick wall. The problem? Actually, it's pretty simple. The episode rendered me incapable of articulating my thoughts. Believe it or not, something actually left me speechless. I know it's impossible to believe, but it's true. It's been the most frustrating writing experience of my life, bar none. Hopefully, one day I can find a way to properly articulate my thoughts, not only on the season finale, but on the series as a whole. For now, I'll just share with you what I posted on Facebook immediately following the series finale (I'm eagerly anticipating the Facebook heckling...bring it on, boys!):

Mad Men" is officially playing at a level only "The Sopranos" and "The Wire" have ever reached. In fact, they are the Magic, Bird, and Jordan of television shows. And, of course, "Miami Vice" is the Bernard King...electrifying for a brief period, but ultimately unsustainable and self destructive.

Actually, come to think of it, I think that says it all! With that out of the way, let's move on to my completely mediocre predictions for the weekend. As always, don't forget the rules***:

COLLEGE

1) WVU +9.5 @ Cincinnati - You always have a scare on your way to a dream season. Tonight is that scare for the Bearcats.

2) Ole Miss -5.5 v. Tennessee - This line has moved significantly since UT lost three players to felony charges. Funny how that happens.

3) Georgia Tech -13 @ Duke - Let's just move on...

4) N.C. State +8 v. Clemson - N.C. State is awful, and Clemson is coming off a HUGE win! This is a game Clemson usually loses, right?

5) Indiana +24.5 @ Penn St. - How could you possibly lay this many points against the Hoosiers? If teams were ranked by the number of gut wrenching losses, Indiana would be playing Wake for the national title.

6) Texas -23.5 @ Baylor - Colt McCoy and Jordan Shipley are peaking at the right time. In fact, the Horns are my pick to take home the Crystal Ball. That's right, you should immediately fly to Vegas and lay it all against Texas.

7) Kentucky -3 @ Vandy - I won't even try to pretend like I have any reason for this pick.

8) USC -10.5 v. Stanford - one of these weeks USC is going to look down at their jerseys and remember they are USC.

9) Miami -3 @ UNC - By the time this kicks off, Miami could be playing for a birth in the ACC Championship Game. Of course, if that is the case, I will be standing in the middle of the interstate trying to run into an 18 wheeler.

10) B.C. -4 @ UVA - Best of luck to you, Coach Groh. You've been super.

11) South Carolina +17.5 v. Florida - Am I crazy enough to pick an outright upset here? You're damn right I am! One more day in the sun for the Old Ball Coach.

12) Arizona +3 @ Cal - Don't look now, we've got a new Stoops on the block.

13) UGA -4.5 v. Auburn - One of my favorite games of every season. Always entertaining.

14) Mississippi St. +12 v. Alabama - If Miss St. scores, they beat this spread.

15) Notre Dame +6.5 @ Pitt - Have we ever seen a worse coaching matchup in prime time?

NFL

1) Atlanta -1.5 @ Carolina

2) Tampa +10.5 @ Miami

3) Detroit +17 @ Minnesota

4) NYJ -7 v. JAX

5) Cincy +7 @ Pitt

6) New Orleans -13.5 @ St. Louis

7) Tennessee -7 v. Buffalo

8) Denver -4 @ Washington

9) Oakland -2 v. K.C.

10) Arizona -9 v. Seattle

12) Dallas -3 @ Green Bay

13) San Diego -1.5 v. Philly

14) New England +3 @ Indy

15) Baltimore -11 @ Cleveland

***Rules: 1) Wagering on sports is illegal unless you are in a licensed sportsbook in a state or country that allows wagering; and 2) if you are in one of those places and you give any weight to my predictions, you probably won’t be happy.

For Informational Purposes Only

2009-11-06T20:09:00.004-05:00

Lots going on this week, so for the sake of historical preservation, here's this week's picks, and don't forget the rules***:

COLLEGE

1) Wisconsin -10.5 @ Indiana

2) Illinois +7 @ Minnesota

3) Pitt -21 v. Syracuse

4) Northwestern +16 @ Iowa

5) Miami -13.5 v. UVA

6) Maryland +6.5 @ N.C. State

7) Notre Dame -12.5 v. Navy

8) Oregon -7 @ Stanford

9) Wake +14 @ G. Tech

10) Oklahoma St. -7.5 @ Iowa St.

11) UNC -10 v. Duke

12) Ohio St. +5.5 @ Penn St.

13) LSU +7.5 @ Alabama

14) Cal -7 v. Oregon St.

15) FSU +9 @ Clemson

16) Oklahoma -5 @ Nebraska

17) UConn +17 @ Cincinnati

NFL

1) Washington +10 @ Atlanta

2) Arizona +3 @ Chicago

3) Baltimore -3 @ Cincinnati

4) Houston +9 @ Indy

5) JAX -6.5 v. K.C.

6) Green Bay -10 @ Tampa

7) Miami +10.5 @ New England

8) Carolina +13.5 @ New Orleans

9) Detroit +10 @ Seattle

10) San Diego +4.5 @ NYG

11) San Fran -4 v. Tennessee

12) Dallas +3 @ Philly

13) Denver +3 v. Pittsburgh

***Rules: 1) Wagering on sports is illegal unless you are in a licensed sportsbook in a state or country that allows wagering; and 2) if you are in one of those places and you give any weight to my predictions, you probably won’t be happy.

For Informational Purposes Only

2009-10-30T19:27:00.002-04:00

Before we get started this week, let me just say that, right now, I wouldn't take East Dillon High +85 against anybody! Thankfully for the Lions, if there is one coach in America that can turn them around in time for their inevitable clash with the West Dillon Panthers, it's Coach Eric Taylor (with, of course, the help of Tim Riggins). I know most people haven't seen the season premiere yet (seriously, if you needed a reason to dump Comcast, isn't this it????), so I won't spoil anything. I will, however, say that with "Mad Men" nearing its season finale I couldn't be more thankful that FNL is back on the air. As long as they don't concoct a ridiculous murder storyline (honestly, has there ever been a more bizarre and nearly fatal writing decision on network TV...not counting every decision by the writers of "Parks and Recreation", of course), we should be in store for an epic season.

Enough about FNL...for now. Here's the picks. And, of course, don't forget the rules.***

COLLEGE

1) WVU -3 @ South Florida - I backed S. Florida at the Fighting 'Staches last weekend, and they lost by 40. I will never back them again. Well, unless they beat WVU tonight.

2) FSU -10 v. N.C. State - Speaking of the Fighting 'Staches, their one loss of the season was against this transcendentally awful N.C. State team, which is 1-3 against FBS opponents. If you are a Pitt fan, isn't part of you actually rooting for the Panthers to lose another game? I mean, could you sleep at night if your team missed out on an undefeated season because you lost to freaking N.C. State? Am I over stating N.C. State's ineptitude? Well, considering that they have given up 131 combined points to Wake, Duke, and Boston College in their last three games, I'm going to say "no".

3) Iowa -17.5 v. Indiana - If we are lucky, Doris Burke will be announcing this game. If we are even luckier, it won't rain tomorrow, and we can all do yard work instead of watching an awful game announced by Doris Burke. (FYI - I've always thought Doris Burke was actually a decent announcer, but I heard her on the Tony Kornheiser podcast this week, and all I can say is that it is entirely doubtful that she has a pulse. I simply cannot adequately express how awful this interview was. Now, I will never be able to watch another game she announces. Fortunately, she announces the noon Big Ten game, so I don't really foresee this being a problem).

4) Ole Miss -5 @ Auburn - Ding...Ding...Ding... (Michael Buffer voice) "Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a unanimous decision. All the judges agree, Auburn is awful!"

(Tom Brokaw voice - yeah, I know he's retired) "We have some tragic breaking news out of Auburn, Alabama tonight. According to the AP, hundreds of thousands of people were maimed and severely injured as they hurled themselves head first off the Gene Chizik bandwagon. And, in related news, Tommy Tuberville has released the following statement: 'On behalf of myself and my family, I want to say to all the wonderful and dedicated Auburn Tiger fans, 'eff you'! More on this story as it develops."

5) UF -14.5 v. UGA - So, last week I used the following rationale to pick UF over Miss. St.: "One of these weeks, Florida is going to explode. This week seems as good a candidate as any." Well, needless to stay, this didn't happen last week. The logic, of course, is unassailable. Therefore, I'm taking the Gators.

6) B.C. -5.5 v. Central Michigan - If another ACC team has a humiliating out of conference loss, I really might light myself on hire. I'm only partially kidding.

7) Miami -6.5 @ Wake - Try this on for size: Miami is coming off a devastating loss. Wake is coming off a devastating loss. The difference? Miami lost to Clemson in an instant classic shootout, and Wake lost to Navy 13-10. Miami has to pound Wake, right? (Yes, I realize I have now taken seven straight favorites - just give me a minute...)

8) Duke +7 @ UVA - Good God! My first underdog of the week is Duke! I guess this answers the question of what to do when two teams you are bound by rule to always pick against play each other...you take the team with a quarterback that actually deserves an athletic scholarship.

9) Illinois +7 v. Michigan - And, with my second underdog pick, I'm taking the Fighting Zookers!!! What the hell is going on here? I actually have no idea, but I'm just going with it.

10) Navy -7 v. Temple - I'm sorry, Dr. Cosby.

11) Northwestern +17 v. Penn State - I just couldn't resist the chance to back Duke, Illinois, and Northwestern in the same week. Just for fun, I'm going to watch "88 Minutes" again tonight...twice.

12) Mississippi State +3.5 @ Kentucky - Mississippi State is the best 3-5 team I've ever seen. You know what that means? If they lose, they will be the best 3-6 team I've ever seen.

13) Oklahoma -27.5 v. K. State - Last week, I went against the Sooners and even joked that the wheels were flying off their season. I just want to take this opportunity to apologize to Coach Stoops. I will never doubt you again. Well, unless it's a big game! (That's a joke. I'm totally kidding. I'm now very afraid that Fite will never speak to me again.)

14) Georgia Tech -11 @ Vandy - Coach Johnson, can you please pass the dixie cup?

15) South Carolina +6 @ Tennessee - I'm very impressed with the job Lane Kiffin is doing, but I'm faaaaaaaaaaaar from ready to lay points with him against the Old Ball Coach.

16) Oklahoma St. +9 v. Texas - Let the BCS madness begin! Money line anyone?

17) USC -3 @ Oregon - WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! When everybody is picking an upset, always go with the favorite. I would go as far as to call this the Golden Rule of gam....uh, predicting.

NFL

1) Baltimore -3 v. Denver

2) Houston -3.5 @ Buffalo

3) Cleveland +14 @ Chicago - one of these weeks, Vegas is going to come out on the right end of these huge lines, so this week I'm taking ever double digit dog. I will regret this. I know this, and I can't stop myself.

4) Seattle +10 @ Dallas

5) Detroit -4 v. St. Louis - This line opened at 9.5!!!! I'm pretty sure this is the biggest line move I've ever seen. Call me nuts, but never in a million years did I think the previous sentence would be associated with the worst team I've ever seen. And, never in a million years did I think I would write the previous sentence and not be referring to the Lions. This is officially the dumbest NFL season of my lifetime.

6) San Francisco +13 @ Indy - I made a rule, and I have to live by it even if it suddenly seems like the worst idea since Auburn hired Gene Chizik.

7) NYJ -3.5 v. Miami - Kobayashi and the Jets should be tough at home.

8) NYG -1 @ Philly - I'm not sure if the Giants are very good. I, however, am certain that the Eagles are not.

9) Jax +3 @ Tennessee - The Titans, with Vince Young, are favored??? Just when you think this season can't get any dumber, this happens.

10) Green Bay -3 v. Minnesota - I might buy a cheese head for this game. There is no part of me that is kidding about this.

11) Oakland +17 @ San Diego - Good Lord, why did I make this rule? I just keep telling myself that Vegas can't continue to take a beating on these horrible teams. Then again, I never thought I would find myself watching "Project Runway". Thanks to my roommate, however, that is happening right now. All I can figure is the world is about to spin right off its axis.

12) Carolina +10.5 @ Arizona

13) Atlanta +11 @ New Orleans

If my whole "Vegas can't lose forever" rule backfires, the bad news is that it will kill my week. The good news? If the casinos all declare bankruptcy, Antoine Walker might not have to bounce any more checks! So, really there is no way to lose this week!

***Rules: 1) Wagering on sports is illegal unless you are in a licensed sportsbook in a state or country that allows wagering; and 2) if you are in one of those places and you give any weight to my predictions, you probably won’t be happy.

For Informational Purposes Only

2009-10-23T21:21:00.004-04:00

After a nearly disastrous first two weeks, I've clawed my way all the way back to mediocrity. I will be honest with you, though. Last week's NFL lines were an absolute nightmare, and while I went a below average 6-8, it could have easily been a 2-12...trust me. If I showed you my first draft of last week's picks, you would understand. Let's get to it. Oh, don't forget the rules.*

COLLEGE

1) Minnesota +17 @ Ohio St. - If I thought Ohio State was a really good team coming off a freak upset loss, I would say this was the wrong time and place for the Golden Gophers. I'm not saying that.

2) South Florida +6.5 @ Pitt - Two picks in, and I'm already in love with the road underdogs. For the record, that's not usually a good thing.

3) Georgia Tech -5.5 @ UVA - Yes, I'm terrified. You know the drill. Tech hasn't won in C'Ville since Scott Sisson kicked the Jackets back onto the national scene in 1990 (only to have Bill Lewis yank us off that stage three years later). UVA has won three straight after starting 0-3, including a season opening loss to William & Mary. Don't worry, you read that right. And, if you really look at UVA's season, it's not THAT awful. I mean, two of their three losses are pretty respectable (TCU and a 37-34 shootout at Southern Miss). Oh, and don't forget that Al Groh is in the midst of his annual campaign to win just enough that UVA can't fire him a/k/a Al Groh's annual tormenting of UVA fans. In other words, I have every reason in the world to fear this game, and every reason to take the Cavs. So, why am I willing to lay the points on the road with the Jackets? Two words: Paul Johnson. Yes, if he gave me a dixie cup of juice and told me to drink it, I would take it down faster than the Wendy's Baconator. Remember all those things I wrote a few weeks ago about being worried about our offense? Yeah, you can go ahead and forget about that.

4) WVU -7 v. UConn - I really hope I'm wrong about this one. I can't imagine how those kids from UConn are going to focus on playing football tomorrow.

5) Oklahoma St. -9.5 @ Baylor - A 5-1 team with OK State's firepower should be 10 points better than a 3-3 team playing with its backup quarterback, right?

6) Maryland +4 @ Duke - I know Maryland is horrible, but if you have the chance to get points against Duke, you HAVE to do it.

7) Penn St. -4.5 @ Michigan - The only thing worse than a road underdog is a road favorite, and I still can't help myself. Good grief!

8) Central Florida -10 @ Rice - I owe Coach Key one after going against the Knights last week.

9) Oregon @ Washington OVER 55 - Other than the Tech game, this is probably the game I'm most looking forward to this week.

10) Tennessee +14 @ Alabama - The national media has fallen in love with Mark Ingram and the Tide in an alarming way this week. Whenever that happens, strange things tend to happen. And, by the way, Tennessee's defense is pretty good.

11) Kansas +8 v. Oklahoma - Please proceed with caution so you aren't injured by any of the wheels flying off the 2009 Sooners' season. The good news for the Sooners? There will be a lot of revenge to dole out in 2010.

12) Clemson +5 @ Miami - The Canes won't make it to Tampa without at least one scare. This will be one.

13) Notre Dame -8 v. B.C. - B.C. is truly awful, and they still might win their division in the ACC. Excuse me while I take a break to bang my head against the wall for a few minutes.

14) Wake +2.5 @ Navy - Whatever.

15) Kentucky -14.5 v. UL Monroe - Again, whatever.

16) South Carolina -13 v. Vandy - There are some really gross matchups this weekend.

17) Michigan St. -1.5 v. Iowa - I can think of absolutely no reason why Michigan St. is favored in this game. So, naturally, I'll go with them.

18) Florida -23 @ Mississippi St. - One of these weeks, Florida is going to explode. This week seems as good a candidate as any.

19) BYU +2.5 v. TCU - Come on, Cougars! The BCS is counting on you!

20) LSU -7.5 v. Auburn - No chance LSU lays two straight eggs at home at night. And, if I'm not mistaken, Auburn lost their Homecoming game to Kentucky last week. Not exactly how you want to roll into Death Valley.

NFL

1) San Francisco +3 @ Houston

2) K.C. +4.5 v. San Diego

3) Indy -14 @ St. Louis

4) New England -14.5 @ Tampa

5) Pittsburgh -5.5 v. Minnesota - this line has jumped all over this place this week. Never a good sign.

6) Cleveland +9 v. Green Bay

7) Carolina -7 v. Buffalo

8) Oakland +7 v. NYJ

9) Cincy PICK over Chicago

10) Dallas -4 v. Atlanta

11) Miami +7 v. New Orleans

12) Arizona +7 @ NYG

13) Philly -7 @ Washington

*Rules: 1) Wagering on sports is illegal unless you are in a licensed sportsbook in a state or country that allows wagering; and 2) if you are in one of those places and you give any weight to my predictions, you probably won’t be happy.

A Night to Remember

2009-10-18T12:56:00.007-04:00

Two weeks ago, I wrote that a Georgia Tech win over Florida State would make last night's battle with Virginia Tech the biggest game at historic Bobby Dodd Stadium since the Jackets took down Clemson at the Flats on our way to the 1990 National Championship. Well, over 13 hours have elapsed since Josh Nesbitt took that final knee to cement our first victory over a Top 5 opponent on our home soil since 1962, and having taken those 12 hours to allow the emotion of last night and the danger of knee jerk hyperboble to wash away, I can now confidently say that last night was everything I hoped it would be. Take a second and think about how special that is. How often in life do we build up our expectations for an event or a moment only to be disappointed when it falls short of what we hope for? The answer, of course, is too often. Last night, however, was thankfully not one of those instances.

It would be very easy to look at last night and say that it was special simply because Tech took down a top 5 team and vaulted into serious contention for an ACC Title and a BCS bowl bid. That, however, would be too simplistic a view. After all, just a few years ago, Tech actually played in the ACC Championship Game and came within a field goal of a BCS bowl game, but no game or no moment in that season, even the dramatic Coastal Division clinching win over Miami, came close to evoking the emotions exuded in that grand old building last night. I've been attending games at Tech since my Mother and my Aunt began taking me as a kid, and I have NEVER seen a crowd like last night's. Not only was it the loudest I've ever heard at BDS, but I've never seen grown men and women singing and dancing in the stands before. That's right, there was quite a bit of dancing. It was, in a word, nuts. And, that was just in the stands.

On the field, you simply cannot say enough about the performances of the team itself, especially Josh Nesbitt and Derrick Morgan. A look at the stats doesn't even begin to tell the story of what these two guys accomplished last night. Simply put, they both put in performances that will forever be remembered by every Tech fan. And finally, what can you say about Coach Paul Johnson? The man has no fear and he accepts nothing less than supreme effort. What a credit he is to the Institute! At the end of the day, Virginia Tech ran into a perfect storm of fans, players, and coaches that decided their time had finally arrived and they weren't going to walk out of that stadium without making a little history.

For me, it was the first three hours in a long time that I didn't worry about anything other than what was in front of me. I was able to forget about all the outside stresses and anxieties of life and just loose myself in the moment. And yes, I was one of those dancing! Consequently, last night was the best night I've had in quite some time. And, at its core, isn't that what sports is supposed to be...an escape from reality? At the end of the day, that's what I think made last night so special. 50,000+ people came together and set the rest of the world aside and lost themselves in the moment. Reason #7,789 why I love sports.

And, since a picture is worth 1,000 words, here are a few I snapped last night that I may take a look at from time to time this week if I need a brief reprieve from reality:

For Informational Purposes Only

2009-10-15T22:06:00.003-04:00

I'm catching a flight in the morning for a 25 hour trip to south Florida, and I've got tons of laundry to do before taking off (My life is beyond exciting), so here's the quick and dirty for the weekend ahead. Don't forget the rules.*

COLLEGE

1) Pitt -5.5 @ Rutgers

2) Michigan St. -14 v. Northwestern (a rule is a rule)

3) Wake +7 @ Clemson

4) Texas -3 v. Oklahoma

5) UGA -7.5 @ Vandy

6) Arkansas +24.5 @ Florida

7) B.C. -3 v. N.C. State

8) Texas Tech +11 @ Nebraska

9) WVU -21 v. Marshall

10) Notre Dame +10 v. USC

11) Maryland +3.5 v. UVA (is this the worst FBS game of the year?)

12) G. Tech +3 v. Va. Tech

13) Ole Miss -22 v. UAB

14) South Carolina +17.5 @ Alabama

15) Miami -14 @ UCF (biggest game in UCF history - really hope I'm wrong about this one)

NFL

1) Houston +5.5 @ Cincy

2) Detroit +14 @ Green Bay

3) Jax -10.5 v. St. Louis (I truly believe this St. Louis team is much worse than last year's Lions)

4) Baltimore +3 @ Minnesota

5) NYG +3 @ New Orleans

6) Pittsburgh -14 v. Cleveland

7) Carolina -3 @ Tampa

8) K.C. +6.5 @ Washington

9) Philly -14.5 @ Oakland

10) Seattle -3 v. Arizona

11) New England -9.5 v. Tennessee

12) NYJ -10 v. Buffalo

13) Atlanta -3.5 v. Chicago

14) San Diego -3.5 v. Denver

*Rules: 1) Wagering on sports is illegal unless you are in a licensed sportsbook in a state or country that allows wagering; and 2) if you are in one of those places and you give any weight to my predictions, you probably won’t be happy.

For Informational Purposes Only

2009-10-09T19:51:00.002-04:00

We are officially in the heart of football season. We know this not just because the calendar reads the second week in October, but also because we have some big time season altering games this weekend. Specifically, come 8 PM EST Saturday night, most all eyes nationally will be fixed on Death Valley down on the Bayou for the clash between St. Timothy and LSU. Locally, while one eye will certainly be fixed on the clash in Louisiana, the other eye will be firmly fixed on Doak Campbell Stadium in Tallahassee where the Jackets will be facing a desperate band of Seminoles. We’ll get to LSU/UF in a minute, but for now, let’s focus on what I consider to be the biggest game for the Jackets since our 1998 trip to Doak. At first glance, that probably looks like a bold statement, but upon further review, I think you will agree.
FSU’s program is in such disarray that, believe it or not, tomorrow night very well may be a “must win” for Bobby Bowden. If they lose their fourth game of the season, which is at home at night, it’s over for Bowden - plain and simple. Sure, he won’t be unemployed come Sunday morning, but the remainder of the season will be no more than a formality for him. Under some circumstances (i.e. last year’s Tennessee team), this could be an advantage for the Jackets. Under these circumstances, however, with this coach, this is anything but an advantage for the Jackets. Every single player that has passed through the FSU program over the past three decades, and every single player currently playing for FSU appears to revere Bowden. They love him, and they are going to show up for him. Furthermore, the current ‘Noles are going to show up for themselves. The last thing these guys want is their legacy to be that they were part of the team that got Bowden canned. In other words, these ‘Noles are desperate, and more importantly, they are talented. Suffice it to say, that’s a dangerous combination.
Now, keeping all this in mind, also consider the ramifications of this game for Tech. Specifically, if we win in Tallahassee, we come home to host Va. Tech in the biggest home game since our 21-19 win over Clemson in our last National Championship season in 1990. Again, a bold statement, but true. Just look at the Jackets’ remaining schedule. After Va. Tech, four of the remaining five games are against UVA, Vandy, Wake, and Duke. If this were an S.A.T. contest, each of those would be compelling matchups, but on the football field, they should all be comfortable W’s for the Jackets. In other words, with a win this week and next, the Jackets are staring at the very real possibility of heading into the UGA game at 10-1 (even with a Ted Roofesque defense), which, of course, brings a lot of possibilities in play that I won’t even dare speak of. So, with a win this week, next week’s Va. Tech game takes on potentially historic proportions for the Jackets, which will create one of the greatest environments we have ever seen on the corner of Techwood and Bobby Dodd Way. With a loss tomorrow night, however, next week’s game becomes just another fun and exciting evening at Bobby Dodd Stadium with far less than potentially historical significance. I think I speak for all Tech fans when I say that I hope the kids suiting up tomorrow night haven’t put as much thought into this as I have.
So, who do I like? I have no idea. This is the classic example of the “Stay Away” game. Gun to head, however, let’s just say I have a lot of faith in Coach Johnson. As for the rest of the football world, here’s the picks, and, of course, don’t forget the rules*:

COLLEGE

1) Auburn @ Arkansas OVER 66 – two pass happy offenses against two suspect defenses. I hate over/unders, but this is worth the play.

2) Minnesota -3 v. Purdue - If you watch this game, I wish you luck in finding something meaningful to do with your life. All the best.

3) West Virginia -10 @ Syracuse - Last week, I took one foot off the Syracuse bandwagon. This week, I’m doing a swan dive off the back.

4) Michigan St. -3.5 @ Illinois – No Juice Williams this week, but the Zooker is still there.

5) UGA +1.5 @ Tennessee – Are you kidding me? Seriously? Did Peyton Manning get a special exemption to play this game? What am I missing here?

6) Ole Miss +4.5 v. Alabama – I’ve watched an inordinate amount of Houston Nutt coached teams through the years, and this reeks of a Nutt upset. My buddy, Colby, and I have been dreaming of a certain headline featuring Nutt’s name for the better part of 13 years now. Maybe this is the week?

7) Oklahoma -28 v. Baylor – The Sooners coming off a loss…Bradford back in the lineup…Baylor playing with a backup quarterback…Yep, I’m sold.

8) UConn +7 @ Pitt - Should the ‘Stache ever really lay a touchdown to anyone?

9) Indiana +6.5 @ UVA – don’t let last week fool you. UVA is still horrible.

10) N.C. State -14.5 v. Duke – a rule is a rule.

11) Maryland +12.5 @ Wake - Why not back the Fridge two weeks in a row?

12) Colorado +32.5 @ Texas – Wow! Does this seem like a huge number to anybody else? Anybody? Bueller?

13) Michigan +8 @ Iowa – Is anybody in the Big Ten really 8 points worse than anybody else? I mean, not counting Illinois, Northwestern, or Purdue.

14) UTEP -2 @ Memphis – why not?

15) Florida -7 @ LSU - You know all the stories: Tebow – will he or won’t he?; LSU has won 31 straight at night in Death Valley; #4 v. #1; will Satan actually attend just to prove he is still more evil than Urban Meyer and Les Miles?, etc… Listen, as much as I loathe Les Miles, nobody despises this Florida team more than me. Nobody not affiliated with LSU wants LSU to win this game more than me. The cold hard truth, however, is that Jordan Jefferson cannot lead his team to a victory in a game of this magnitude. If you watched last week’s game in Athens, you know where I’m coming from. Yes, LSU pulled off the win, but they did so for a variety of reasons that didn’t include Jefferson. Let’s put it this way, when a team takes over at midfield with :53 seconds left and only needs a field goal to win, if you turn to your buddy and say, “I don’t know if they can get in field goal range”, that’s a sign the guy calling the signals isn’t the guy you want facing the most talented defense we’ve seen this side of the 2000 Oklahoma Sooners. I truly hope I’m wrong about this, but I’m calling for a workmanlike 27-7 Florida victory.

NFL

1) Cincy +10 @ Baltimore

2) Buffalo -6 v. Cleveland

3) Carolina -4 v. Washington

4) Pittsburgh -10.5 @ Detroit

5) K.C. +9 v. Dallas

6) NYG -15 v. Oakland

7) Tampa +15.5 @ Philly

8) St. Louis +10.5 v. Minnesota

9) San Fran -2.5 v. Atlanta

10) Houston +5.5 @ Arizona

11) Denver +3.5 v. New England

12) Seattle -1 v. JAX

13) Indy -3.5 @ Tennessee

14) NYJ -1 @ Miami

*Rules: 1) Wagering on sports is illegal unless you are in a licensed sportsbook in a state or country that allows wagering; and 2) if you are in one of those places and you give any weight to my predictions, you probably won’t be happy.

For Informational Purposes Only

2009-10-02T22:17:00.002-04:00

As we head into the first weekend of October, I can think of only one word to describe the college football season to date: weird. Consider this: we’ve got three major contenders, Texas, UF, and ‘Bama, vying for number 1, and each of them, with the exception of ‘Bama, has shown the potential to lay an egg on any given week. And, even though they haven’t shown it yet, I’m pretty sure ‘Bama also has that potential. We have two non-BCS teams, Boise and TCU, that are poised to cruise to undefeated seasons, and we have another fringe BCS squad, Cincinnati, that could do the same. We have some big name schools, i.e. Auburn and UCLA, that are undefeated and unranked. We are facing the distinct possibility of a 3-2 USC team after this weekend. And, last but not least, we had a kid launch an Artestesque melee, receive a year-long suspension, and now we hear he may be reinstated. Now, if we could just get College Gameday to broadcast from a meaningless ACC game in a city that couldn’t care less about college football, we’d transition from weird to bizarre. What? This is actually happening?

Amazingly enough, even with all this weirdness, I’m treading water with my predictions. Granted, you wouldn’t be profitable if you were wagering based on my advice, but you probably wouldn’t have lost your house yet. That’s something, right? That being said, last week was a few miraculous plays away from being a complete disaster. The good news? Disaster averted. The bad news? You never like to use up all your luck to bang out an 8-9 week. The take away? Rule #2 has never been more important!* Things could get dicey this weekend.

COLLEGE

1) Maryland +13 v. Clemson - I mean, it’s 13 points at home! A loss to MTSU and a narrow escape from James Madison aside, Maryland can’t be that bad, right? Am I really picking this game? Boy, I’m already feeling less than excellent about this week’s picks. Not a good sign.

2) Michigan +3.5 @ MSU – Sure, if not for the most egregious abuse of instant replay I’ve ever witnessed, Michigan may have lost to Indiana for the first time since Norman Dale was in the Navy (if you don’t get that reference, please turn around, exit to your right, and be sure to leave your access card at the door). But, they did beat Notre Dame, and MSU lost to Notre Dame. That means Michigan will beat MSU, right? Okay, good. Seriously, this week is going to be a disaster. Thank God I don’t live in Vegas.

3) UNC -13 v. UVA – Remember, always go against UVA and Duke. Don’t ask questions, just do it.

4) South Florida -6.5 @ Syracuse - Yes, the ‘Cuse are 3-0 against the spread this season (no number on last week’s game against Maine). And, yes, I did profess two weeks ago that I was going to ride this train while it was rolling. Well, call me a liar. Seriously, go ahead. It won’t hurt my feelings. And, no matter what you call me, I won’t ignore the fact that South Florida won in Tallahassee last week with a backup quarterback. Nor will I ignore the fact that the Bulls have won their last four meetings against the Orange by a combined score of 140-33.

5) Purdue – 8 v. Northwestern – I might as well lump Northwestern in with Duke and UVA.
6) UCLA +5.5 @ Stanford - One month ago, if I told you that, after week 5, one team from L.A. would be 4-0 and another would be 3-2, you probably would have guessed that UCLA would be the 4-0 team, right? I mean, I know that’s what I was banking on. Oh no, did I just give away my USC/Cal pick?

7) LSU @ UGA OVER 50.5 - The first team to force a punt will win this game. Yes, I think that little of both these defenses.

8) FSU -4 @ B.C. - I watched a little of the B.C./Clemson game, and I’m pretty sure B.C. is the least athletic team in the ACC, including Duke and UVA. That’s right BC fans, your program is officially screwed. I couldn’t be happier for you.

9) Penn St. -7 @ Illinois - Wait a minute! I get to take PSU coming off a loss against Ron Zook and Juice Williams? Seriously, guys, my birthday isn’t until December.

10) UCF -6.5 v. Memphis – Memphis is really bad. Plus, we are five weeks in and I finally have a chance to give some love to Coach Key and Coach Godsey at UCF.

11) Washington +11.5 @ Notre Dame - Seriously? 11.5 points? What am I missing? Can I get a money line on this? Who wants to fly to Vegas?

12) Ole Miss -10 @ Vandy - The Rebels need to bounce back in a big way.

13) Ohio St. -17.5 @ Indiana – No way Indiana has anything left after last week’s heart break. Plus, I’m sick and tired of picking against OSU and losing. If at first you don’t succeed, quit what you are doing. That’s a motto for real success in life.

14) G. Tech -5.5 @ Miss. St. – I don’t need a reason to take my own team.

15) Oklahoma -7 @ Miami - I’ve gone back and forth on this game all week, but strangely, I think Bradford not playing is a good thing for the Sooners. Now, they can go out and play with nothing to lose. Miami, on the other hand, faces the real possibility of going from America’s darling (can you believe I just said that about Miami?) to being unranked. That’s a lot of pressure on a very young team.

16) California +4 v. USC - It’s the Pac-10. Losing by 39 points in the prior week means nothing. And, considering all that USC has dealt with this past week ( I really think the Johnson story is being way under played. That had to be a traumatic experience for everybody who witnessed it. Can you imagine seeing one of your teammates nearly decapitate himself?), it’s going to be tough for them to roll into a hostile environment at night and pull off a W. This is, after all, not a traditional USC team. They are shaky at quarterback, and they seem to be missing a little swagger. I’m calling for the outright upset here.

NFL

1) Chicago -10 v. Detroit - Anybody else think the Bears are pretty good? Sure, Cutler is a total [insert derogatory phrase here], but he’s …well, he’s a total [insert derogatory phrase here].

2) Cincy -6 @ Cleveland - If only I had purchased the Sunday Ticket this year so I could see this game! How much would I have to give you to watch this game without changing the channel? $100? $200? I think I would do it for $750.

3) Houston -9 v. Oakland - I feel terrible for Raiders fans. I would also feel bad for Jamarcus Russell if he wasn’t actually receiving millions of dollars for having the football equivalent of a bowel movement in front of 70,000 people each week.

4) Indy -10.5 v. Seattle - I originally wrote a hilarious joke about Hassleback here. Then, in the interest of keeping The WAD a family friendly environment, I removed it. Suffice it to say, I don’t think he’s very tough.

5) Jax -3 v. Tennessee - Why not?

6) NYG -9 @ K.C. – Take the Giants until they burn you.

7) N.E. -1.5 v. Baltimore – I like Baltimore a lot, but I’m just not ready to trust Joe Flacco to beat Tom Brady in Foxboro.

8) Tampa @ Washington UNDER 37 - I’d rather watch the Cincy/Cleveland game. Sorry, Colby.

9) Buffalo PICK @ Miami - Is anybody else horrified at the number of horrible NFL games this weekend? Good grief. I mean, how many awful teams can exist in one league? It’s going to be a long year.

10) N.O. -7 v. NYJ - No chance Mark Sanchez keeps this game close. New Orleans will score 40.

11) St. Louis +10 @ San Fran – I think San Fran is good, but there is no chance I would lay double digits with them…not yet.

12) San Diego +6.5 @ Pittsburgh - Uh oh. Are the defending Super Bowl Champions going to start 1-3?

13) Green Bay +3.5 @ Minnesota – If there is a God, Favre will not win this game. Come on Pack, my entire belief structure is on the line here!

*Rules: 1) Wagering on sports is illegal unless you are in a licensed sportsbook in a state or country that allows wagering; and 2) if you are in one of those places and you give any weight to my predictions, you probably won’t be happy.

For Informational Purposes Only

2009-09-25T18:53:00.001-04:00

I’m hot. In fact, I’m over .500 for the first time in two seasons. Unfortunately, I’m also tired and, admittedly, a bit lazy. Plus, I’m so nervous about tomorrow’s Tech game that I can’t focus on anything else. It’s really difficult being a Tech fan. One day, I might try to explain it, but for now, here’s the picks and nothing but the picks. Enjoy the weekend, and don’t forget the rules.*

COLLEGE

1) G. Tech -3 v. UNC

2) Minnesota +1 @ Northwestern

3) Michigan -20 v. Indiana

4) Fresno St. @ Cincinnati OVER 63

5) LSU -11.5 @ Mississippi St.

6) Rutgers -1 @ Maryland

7) N.C. State -1 v. Pitt

8) Illinois +14 @ Ohio St.

9) Clemson -2.5 v. TCU

10) Miami @ Va. Tech UNDER 47

11) Arkansas +17.5 @ Alabama

12) Florida -21.5 @ Kentucky

13) Arizona St. @ UGA OVER 50.5

14) Vanderbilt -6.5 @ Rice

15) Penn St. -9.5 v. Iowa

16) Notre Dame -7 @ Purdue

17) Washington St. +46.5 @ USC

NFL

1) Cleveland +14 @ Baltimore

2) NYG -7 @ Tampa

3) St. Louis +7 v. Green Bay

4) Kansas City +9 @ Philly

5) New England -4.5 v. Atlanta

6) San Francisco +7 @ Minnesota

7) Houston -3.5 v. JAX

8) Detroit +7 v. Washington

9) Tennessee +3 @ NYJ

10) New Orleans @ Buffalo OVER 51.5

11) Chicago -2 @ Seattle

12) Pittsburgh -4 @ Cincy

13) Denver -1.5 @ Oakland

14) San Diego -6 v. Miami

15) Indy +2.5 @ Arizona

16) Carolina @ Dallas OVER 47.5

*1) Wagering on sports is illegal unless you are in a licensed sportsbook in a state or country that allows wagering; and 2) if you are in one of those places and you give any weight to my predictions, you probably won’t be happy.

For Informational Purposes Only

2009-09-18T19:13:00.002-04:00

I think it’s fair to say that the football weekend got off to a less than auspicious beginning for all Yellow Jacket fans. In the wake of Miami’s complete domination of the Jacket’s last night, I have three observations:

1) Miami is back. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not predicting a national title, or even a BCS Bowl, this season, but it’s not completely out of the realm of possibility. The fact of the matter is that Miami actually looks like Miami again. They are fast at seemingly every position. They have a swagger. And, most importantly, they are extremely well coached. I can’t remember seeing one blown assignment, one missed tackle, or a single sloppy route by their receivers. Now, we are just a few arrests and recruiting scandals away from the good ‘ole days on South Beach.

2) Believe it or not, the luster of Coach Paul Johnson is starting to fade just a bit. Again, don’t get me wrong. I’m not going all irrational SEC fan on you. I’m not jumping off a bridge or demanding Coach Johnson win the remaining 9 games on the schedule. What I am doing is simply pointing out that the Jackets’ offense, after torching UGA in Athens, has averaged only 12.3 points/game in its last three games against FBS opponents (LSU, Clemson, and Miami). And, that number would be less if not for a junk touchdown pass in the fourth quarter last night.
Here’s why I’m a little alarmed: each of those three teams feature elite athletes on the defensive side of the ball, especially the defensive line. So, the natural question is whether, in the wake of the UGA game, LSU discovered something about defending against the Jackets’ offense that other teams with superior athletes are easily emulating? I don’t know nearly enough about the intricacies of football to know the answer, but I am quite certain that our upcoming games with UNC and Va. Tech are likely to provide the answer.

3) I’m a little tired of everybody referring to Miami as “The U”. I’ve been watching college football for as long as I’ve been able to hold my head up without falling over backwards, and until about five or six years ago, I don’t remember anybody referring to Miami as “The U”. In other words, over the period of time that Miami was dominating college football and winning five national titles, I don’t remember a sole using this expression. In fact, the first time I ever heard it was during Jeremy Shockey’s early years with the Giants when he discussed working out at “The U” in the off-season during an MSG interview. Now, everybody from Tony Kornheiser to Miami President, Donna Shalala, an esteemed scholar and former member of President Clinton’s cabinet, is appearing on national television and referring to Miami as “The U”.

Why does this bother me? Well, I’m not entirely sure, but I think it comes from the same school of thought that forbids anyone from choosing their own nickname. I mean, if your friends have given you an embarrassing nickname, or if you don't have a nickname, you can’t just show up at school or work and unilaterally announce that you now have a really cool nickname. If this was the case, there would be no purpose for nicknames, and, of course, the world would be a worse place for it. Well, in the same vein, after being a national player for decades, Miami should not have been able to unilaterally dub itself “The U” out of thin air. But, they did it. And now, thanks to ESPN, I guess we have to live with it, but that doesn’t mean we have to like it. And, for the record, "The U" is a really cool nickname.

Enough of my ramblings. Let’s get to my predictions for this weekend. And, don't forget: 1) my picks are for fun only. They give you yet another chance to mock me. Wagering on sports, however, is illegal unless you are in a licensed sportsbook in a state or country that allows wagering; and 2) if you are in one of those places and you give any weight to my predictions, you probably won't be happy.

COLLEGE

1) Boise St. -7.5 @ Fresno St. – If you just look at the fact that Fresno nearly beat Wisconsin in Madison last weekend, you could be easily deceived into taking the Bulldogs. A closer look, however, reveals some startling statistics: a) Boise beat Fresno by 51 last year, and Boise is better this year than last; b) Boise is 10-3 against the number in their last 13 Friday night games; c) Fresno is 1-7 against the number in its last 8 Friday night games; d) Boise is 7-1 against the number in their last 8 meetings against Fresno; and e) Fresno’s backup quarterback is David Carr’s little brother. Okay, (e) really should have no bearing on your decision here, but could you imagine the sick feeling in your stomach if you backed Fresno, their starting qb goes down, and you see David Carr’s little brother trotting on the field? Good lord, that’s horrifying.

2) Michigan -24 v. EMU – Admittedly, this game has “letdown” written all over it for the Wolverines. The problem for EMU, however, is that Michigan could completely lay an egg for four quarters and still win this game easily. EMU is 0-2 with losses to Army and Northwestern. Not exactly how you want to roll into the Big House against a Michigan team that hasn’t felt this good about itself since the moments before kicking off the ’07 season against App. St. We saw this with Rich Rod at Clemson and WVU. When things start to click, they click in a big way. And yes, I strained a hamstring jumping on the Michigan bandwagon.

*Side note = I’m currently watching the live coverage on the Mayweather/Marquez weigh-in on Sports Center. Aside from the fact that the scene of thousands of people watching two men strip to their underwear to stand on an old-school scale seems a bit strange, I love Mayweather. I am thoroughly looking forward to this fight, and I’m even more excited about his next retirement and comeback. That never gets old with fighters…or quarterbacks, I guess.

3) UNC -7 v. ECU – ECU beat UNC in their last meeting back in ‘07. You know what that means! That’s right, if you watch this game, you will hear 7,000 references to “revenge” by the announcers. Yes, that will be annoying, but, in the crazy world of college football, it will actually be a relevant point. Plus, ECU is not very good. They did, after all, barely beat App. State two weeks ago. Hey, that’s two App. State references in one column. That’s for you, Mike Chandler. You’re welcome.

4) Penn St. -30 v. Temple –I saw a stat during last night’s debacle that Joe Pa is something like 112-0 against Temple with an average margin of victory of 93. Okay, I think it was closer to 30 and 26, but you get the point. Penn St. is very good. Temple is very bad. This isn’t rocket science, right? (Yes, I know I’m batting well below .500).

5) Kansas -23.5 v. Duke - Remember, the rules dictate picking against Duke every week, no matter what. Plus, Mark Mangino makes me feel thin, and I appreciate it. And yes, I realize I have picked five big favorites so far. And yes, we are building to something.

6) Tennessee +30 @ Florida – And, here it is! You all know the story. Lane Kiffin is an idiot, and Urban Meyer is a jerk. I’m not disputing either of those facts, but here’s the thing: Meyer is only a jerk when nobody is expecting it. For example, nobody was running endless stories on whether he would run up the score on Miami last year before he called timeout with seconds left to tack on a meaningless field goal for no reason other than to rub salt in the wound. And, nobody was running endless stories about Meyer’s desire to embarrass Mark Richt before he called two timeouts in the waning minutes to make sure UGA had a chance to take a few last looks at the scoreboard.

This time around, however, EVERYBODY, expects Meyer to be a jerk. But, that’s not how jerks work. They are, by nature, contrarians. Therefore, it will be more fun for Meyer not to run up the score and say things afterwards like, “we have bigger fish to fry than UT, so I wasn’t about to risk the health of my starters just to prove a point.” Or, maybe he will say something like, “Sure, we could have put up more points, but that’s not the UF way. We do things with class.” Then, of course, he will satisfy his urge to be a jerk without doing what was expected. Get it? Good.

7) Nebraska +5 @ Va. Tech - I’m not sure how good either of these teams are or can be. It’s a great litmus test for them both. That being said, it’s probably a stay away game, but since it’s one of the bigger games on a pretty bland Saturday, I’ll make a pick and take the points.

8) Notre Dame -10 v. Michigan St. - Notre Dame hasn’t beaten MSU in South Bend since Pope John Paul I was in the Vatican. Okay, that’s not true, but it’s been a very long time. If that trend continues, Charlie Weis might want to go ahead and book two seats for the next flight to whatever island he has purchased with all the money ND has given him. And yes, both seats are for him. By the way, Jimmy Clausen is having a huuuuuuggggge year. I expect that to continue this week. Did you ever think you would see the day that playing for Notre Dame had an adverse effect on your chances of winning the Heisman? It's definitely a new day in college football.

9) Washington +19 v. USC – UW was legitimately frisky against LSU in week 1, and then they won their first game in 15 tries last week. USC is starting a backup quarterback. The crowd in Seattle will be downright frenzied despite the 12:30 pst kickoff. If this was a night game, I would dare mention last year’s Oregon St. game. Alas, it’s not, and I won’t. I do, however, think UW will stay competitive for at least a half and have a chance to back door a cover with a late touchdown.

10) Southern Miss – 15 v. UVA - UVA has now obtained the “go against them every week no matter what” status, which was previously reserved exclusively for Duke. Isn’t it great that two ACC teams now have this status? If you listen closely, you will hear me beating myself over the head with a frying pan.

11) Syracuse +3.5 @ NW - The ‘Cuse are 0-2 on the season, but they are 2-0 against the number. Let’s see if they can keep their perfect season intact.

12) Miss. St. +9 @ Vandy - I don’t understand this line at all. Sure, MSU was outgained by 292 yards at Auburn last week and lost by 25, but under what circumstance is it acceptable for Vandy to be a 9 point favorite over ANY conference opponent? I’m not aware of any.

13) South Carolina -21 v. Florida Atlantic - It looks like Spurrier may have FINALLY found a quarterback. Then again, this is South Carolina. I’m sitting here telling myself that I shouldn’t pick this game, but I just can’t stop myself. That has to count for something.

14) BYU -8 v. FSU - FSU can’t stop the pass, and BYU can’t stop passing. This has the makings of a humiliating blowout for the ACC and Coach Jimbo Fisher. What? Bobby Bowden is still alive? Shocking.

15) Arkansas -2.5 v. UGA – I’m only taking the Hogs because they have had an extra week to prepare for UGA. And, one of my hard and fast rules is that you always go with a really coach that has extra prep time. Like him or not (I don’t), Bobby Petrino is a really good college football coach.

NFL (After 2,000 words, I will spare you the analysis)

1) Atlanta -6 v. Carolina

2) Washington -10 v. St. Louis

3) Houston +6.5 @ Tennessee

4) New Orleans -1 @ Philly

5) New England -3.5 @ NYJ

6) K.C. -3 v. Oakland

7) Jax -3 v. Arizona

8) Cincy +9 @ Green Bay

9) Detroit +10 v. Minnesota

10) Buffalo -4.5 v. Tampa

11) Seattle +1.5 @ San Francisco

12) Chicago +3 v. Pittsburgh

13) Denver -3 v. Cleveland

14) Baltimore +3 @ San Diego

15) NYG +3 @ Dallas

16) Indy -3 @ Miami

Finally, in response to my buddy, GC’s, inquiry, I am taking Big Bird over Elmo in the second act of tomorrow night’s Sesame Street Live performance at Philips Arena. I think the big fella just has too much sting in his right hook. The things parents do for their children!

The Rules of Fandom

2009-09-10T17:59:00.003-04:00

Nothing brings out school pride like college football season, and, nobody has more school pride than me. And, nobody appreciates others’ pride as much as me. That being said, very few things get under my skin worse than misplaced school pride. Specifically, nothing can cause me to embark on a full on Olberman/O’Reilly rant quite like a person that plays outside the acceptable rules of fandom. Therefore, in an effort to end the epidemic of fandom abuse, for the first time ever, I have committed the following Rules of Fandom to writing:

I. IT IS ACCEPTABLE TO BE A FAN OF A COLLEGE TEAM WHEN:

1) You attended the school. This is the most straight-forward of all the rules. There, however, are some necessary clarifications:

a) You don’t have to graduate from the school; but

b) If you leave/flunk out/get expelled from one school and attend another school, you can only be a fan of one of the schools. Either school is acceptable, but you must make a choice.

2) You pay for your child to attend a school and your child graduates from that school. In this case, attendance is not enough. Graduation by the child is required. Again, a clarification is required:

a) If you attended School X, and you pay for your child to attend School Y, you may be a fan of School Y, but you must forever renounce your fandom for School X. I know it seems harsh, but, under only four circumstances (covered below), can you be a fan of more than one school.

THE TWO SCENARIOS ABOVE ARE THE ONLY SCENARIOS UNDER WHICH IT IS ACCEPTABLE TO REFER TO A COLLEGE AS “WE”. NO EXCEPTIONS.

3) You grow up as a fan of a school, for whatever reason (geography, family connection, a favorite player, you like the uniforms, etc…), and one of the following applies:

a) You do not attend college;

b) You attend a college that does not play sports on the same level as your childhood team (i.e. you grow up as a UGA fan, but you go to college at Furman);

c) You attend a college other than your favorite college for financial/geographical reasons (i.e. You live in Georgia and grow up as a huge Alabama fan because your parents went to school there, but you attend UGA or Tech because of the HOPE Grant). In this case, it is perfectly acceptable to remain an Alabama fan, but you CANNOT also be a Tech/UGA fan. Again, this may seem harsh, but it is the way it has to be.

II. IT IS ACCEPTABLE TO BE A FAN OF TWO COLLEGE TEAMS WHEN:

1) You and your spouse went to different colleges. In this case, in order to keep the peace in your home, you can be a fan of each other’s schools on one condition: The two schools cannot be rivals (i.e. if you go to Tech and marry a UGA grad, you have to find some alternative way to keep the peace between September and March).

2) You have a family member, close friend, or mentor that plays for or coaches for a school other than your school. And yes, this explains the random JMU, College of Charleston, S.C. State, and S.C. Upstate gear I have accumulated through the years. Actually, I’m still waiting on the Upstate gear! You know who you are!

3) This one is tricky, and I have only come to accept it in recent years: If you grow up as a fan of one of a school’s sports programs because your family has strong ties to that school, but your allegiance is only to ONE of their programs, you can remain a fan of that program even if you go to school somewhere else. You, however, cannot also be a fan of the same program at your school. Confusing? Yes. Here’s an example: If you grow up as a huge Indiana basketball fan because of strong family ties to Indiana, but you go to school at a major university other than Indiana, you can remain an Indiana basketball fan, but you cannot be a fan of your school’s basketball program. I’m glad we cleared that one up.

4) If you serve in the military, you can be a fan of whoever you want. If you defend this country, who am I to tell you who to root for?

III. THE GRAD SCHOOL PROHIBITION

You can only be a fan of your grad school if you attended undergrad at a school that plays at a different level. For example, undergrad at Furman + grad school at UGA = acceptable to be a UGA fan (still no "we", however). On the flip side, undergrad at Tech + grad school at Duke = unacceptable to be a Duke fan. Understood?

Okay, that’s it. Those are the rules. Now, can we all just agree to live by them? If we don’t, chaos will surely result.

Now, the weekend picks. Remember, these are only for informational purposes, and it is illegal for you to place a wager on any sporting event outside of a licensed sportsbook.

COLLEGE

1) G.Tech v. Clemson OVER 44 - This could be a replay of a the Woody Dantzler game back in ’01. You know, the one with zero defense, points falling from the sky, and me crying myself to sleep. I’m nervous.

2) Colorado -4 @ Toledo – After losing a heart breaker to CSU last weekend, the ‘Buffs have to bounce back this weekend, right?

3) UNC -4 @ UConn - This has “sucker bet” written all over it. I’ve been called worse than a sucker.

4) Syracuse +28 @ PSU – Going against the ‘Cuse worked out poorly in week 1, so let’s go the other way and see how that works out.

5) Army -1 v. Duke – Wow! Duke is horrible. Go against them every week, and it will work out for you, I promise.

6) UF -36.5 v. Troy - See the Duke analysis and do the opposite with UF. You're welcome.

7) Va. Tech -19 v. Marshall - Va. Tech covers this if they score 20 points.

8) Notre Dame -3 @ Michigan - Statement game for the #1 overall pick in next year’s draft.

9) UVA +10.5 v. TCU – I believe in you, Al Groh! No, I didn’t write that with a straight face.

10) UCLA +10 @ Tennessee – 8 Clap. Let's just say I'm not sold on the new regime in Knoxville. Not yet, anyway.

11) Mississippi St. +14 @ Auburn - Yeah, not sold on the new regime at Auburn either.

12) South Carolina +7 @ UGA – does anybody ever win this game by more than a touchdown?

13) Ohio St. +7 v. USC – I’ve got a funny feeling.

NFL

1) Pittsburgh -6 v. Tennessee

2) Miami +4 @ Atlanta

3) Baltimore -13 v. K.C.

4) Philly -2 @ Carolina

5) Denver +4 @ Cincy

6) Minnesota -3 @ Cleveland

7) Houston -4 v. NYJ

8) JAX +7 @ Indy

9) Detroit +14 @ N.O.

10) Dallas -6 @ Tampa

11) S.F. +6.5 @ Arizona

12) NYG -6.5 v. Washington

13) Seattle -9 v. St. Louis

14) Chicago +3.5 @ Green Bay

15) New England -11 v. Buffalo

16) San Diego -40 @ Oakland (okay, it’s only 10, but you get the point)

For Informational Purposes Only

2009-09-05T10:16:00.002-04:00

You didn't really think I was going to let the college season begin without offering up some picks, did you? Of course not. That being said, I'm banging these out in a hurry before heading over to the Flats to pay homage to Coach Paul Johnson, so let's get to it. And, don't forget the rules:

1) Wagering on sports is illegal unless you are in an officially licensed sportsbook. Therefore, unless you are in Nevada or Canada, don't bet on it!;

2) If you happen to be in a place where wagering is legal and you take my advice, you are likely to be disappointed.

Okay, let's get rolling:

1) Minnesota -7 v. Syracuse - I've heard a lot of pundits say that Greg Paulus can be a successful starting qb because the position requires a lot of the same qualities the point guard position requires. First of all, I'm not sure I believe that. Second, if it is true, that's not good news for the 'Cuse fans. Remember, Paulus became a worse point guard every time he stepped on the floor at Duke. Bottom line: lay the points against the 'Cuse all season. Just do it. You won't be sorry.

2) Ohio St. -22 v. Navy - I hate picking against Navy. I also hate paying taxes. Unfortunately, both are unavoidable.

3) Western Ky. +30 @ Tennessee - Until UT proves they can score 30 points in a game, there is no way I'm laying 30. Plus, it's fun picking against Kiffin, isn't it? I'm going to enjoy his two seasons in Knoxville.

4) USC -35 v. SJSU - Double this line, and I would still take the Trojans.

5) Western Michigan +13 @ Michigan - Would you be shocked if Michigan lost this game? If not, you have to take the points. Write that down.

6) Wake -2 v. Baylor - After seeing N.C. State's prolific offense Thursday night, how can you pick against an ACC squad? (shaking my head and cringing a bit)

7) Missouri +6.5 @ Illinois - Do you trust Ron Zook and Juice Williams? Yeah, didn't think so.

8) UGA +5.5 @ Ok. St. - Perfect storm here. Waaaaaayyyy too much hype for the Pokes heading into this game. Waaaaaaayyyy too much pressure on the Pokes heading into this game. Absolutely nothing to lose for one of the most talented and athletic teams in America. Plus, when is the last time Mark Richt had 9 months to prepare for a game and lost? I'm guessing never. Then again, Mike Gundy is 42 now, and we all know what that means! Wait a minute, Chris Fowler just told me that Joe Cox has the flu and arrived in Stillwater via private plane late last night. This raises two questions: 1) Can he play?; and 2) Who's private plane was he aboard? Color me intrigued. Even so, I'm still taking the 'Dawgs.

9) Notre Dame -13.5 v. Nevada - The Irish offense is going to be prolific this year. They will hang half a hundred today. Don't believe me? Well, I don't blame you.

10) OU -22.5 v. BYU (at the Jerry Jones Memorial Stadium in Dallas. What? Jerry Jones is not dead? Somebody needs to tell his face) - I'm very excited to receive real time updates from Fite, who will be in attendance in Dallas tonight. We better get some pictures of that new stadium, especially the jumbotron. As for the game, OU reminds me of Duke Basketball in the early 2000's. Specifically, they beat the living hell out of everybody they are supposed to beat and they come up just short in the big games. Sorry, Fite. It's true. That being said, today is not a big game, so you can expect a beat down.

11) LSU -17.5 @ UW - I spent four days in Seattle this spring, and I loved the city. If you were going to build a city from scratch, Seattle would be a great template. That, unfortunately, has nothing to do with this game. When you combine a team that has not won a game since 2007 with a coach that LOVES to be an a-hole and run up the score, 17.5 points isn't nearly enough. And yes, I'm am still bitter about last year's Peach Bowl.

12) Colorado St. +11 @ Colorado - I know nothing about these two teams, but it seems like this is a close game every year. And no, I didn't look this up. Remember rule #2 above.

13) Maryland +21 @ California - 21 points? The Fridge lost over a 100 lbs in preparation for this game for God's sake! No way they get blown out. How can you question this precise logic? Again, see rule #2 above.

14) Va. Tech +6.5 @ Alabama (In the Georgia Dome) - Bama is starting a new quarterback against the Hokie defense. If I were in Vegas, this would have money line written all over it.

15) FSU -6 v. Miami - Randy Shannon has done a nice job recruiting, but all the signs (especially the quarterback defections) point to a program in chaos in Coral Gables. On the flip side, for the first time in a while, FSU looks to have a decent quarterback situation and a certain measure of stability (if you ignore the fact that the NCAA likely has a compliance investigator permanently placed in the locker room). At the end of the day, I think Miami is still going to struggle to score points this year, and you never have bigger struggles than the first game out of the gate.

Quick tease: Last night, I updated my Facebook status for the first time in months with the following:

Very limited circumstances do exist under which you may be a sports fan of a college you did not attend (I can provide them upon request), but, under no circumstance, are you allowed to refer to a college's sports teams as "we" unless you actually attended that school or paid for your child to attend that school. This is non-negotiable.

This opinion has elicited quite a response. Therefore, after many years of rambling on about my "rules" for fandom, this week, I will finally memorialize my thoughts on the acceptable standards for college sports fandom. I know you can hardly wait.

Tipping Point

2009-08-12T22:28:00.001-04:00

Weeks without a column and suddenly, out of nowhere, I’m back. You might be asking, “what could possibly be the inspiration for a column after such a prolonged absence”? And, I bet more than a few of you are thinking, “I bet it has something to do with Pitino.” If so, you are partially correct. The more specific explanation is that I’m tired. That’s right, I’m tired of every sports related headline relating to some sort of scandal.

After weeks of hearing and reading about Mike Vick fighting dogs and struggling to find his way back in the NFL; Donte Stallworth running over pedestrians and serving barely enough time in jail to miss Wimbledon; J.R. Smith of the Nuggets spending even less time in jail after killing his best friend and THEN allegedly sending out gang related tweets; Manny and Big Papi possibly breaking the Curse with the help of a syringe or two; some hockey player allegedly kicking an old man’s ass over a few dimes; Plaxico Burress facing years in jail for wearing sweatpants to the club (or carrying a concealed weapon and shooting himself – not sure which is a dumber move); or this incredibly salacious scandal involving Pitino; I’ve finally reached a point I never thought possible. Believe it or not, I just deleted today’s “PTI” without watching a second.
Before going any further, I have to be candid about a few things: 1) with football season just around the corner, “PTI” will be back in the mix sooner rather than later; 2) the steroid stuff really doesn’t bother me that much because I grew numb to the entire situation long ago; and 3) I’ve spent just as much time, if not more, as anybody discussing the above scandals with friends and co-workers. That being said, I’ve reached my limit. It’s just too much. For example, as I was driving home this evening, the local sports talk show was covering two topics: 1) what will Mike Vick say in his “60 Minutes” interview; and 2) should Rick Pitino be fired? My reaction? I switched over to the cd player and cranked a little “Hootie and the Blowfish”. This, of course, reveals two things about me: 1) I haven’t bought a new cd since ’96; and 2) I really need satellite radio.

Do I blame the media for covering these stories? Of course not. During the dog days of summer, when baseball is really the only constant story, these guys have a lot of copy and air time to fill. And, of course, fans, myself included, typically eat these stories up. As the great Malcolm Gladwell has made clear, however, you always reach a tipping point. In this case that point comes when the media has to keep covering these stories, but we, the fans, stop reading and listening. For me, that point is the Pitino story. It’s sordid, it’s salacious, it’s likely to have a huge impact on college basketball, and surprisingly (especially to me), I don’t care. As a sports fan and a pop culture addict, maybe I should, but for some reason, I just don’t. That’s the thing about the tipping point – it’s not always easy to predict or understand, but you know it when it happens.

So, does this mean that I’m completely out of the sports mix until football season? Not so much. Instead, I’m turning my focus, at least for the next four days, to the one sport that has not been tainted by scandal and consistently reminds us what is great about sports: golf. As we head into the final major of the year, we not only have tremendous storylines to look forward to (Tiger chasing #15, Sergio chasing #1, Phil trying to escape from the harsh realities of real life, Paddy trying to overcome last week’s heartache, Cink, Glover, and Cabrera attempting to vault into the elite, Rich Beem returning to the site of his greatest moment, etc…), but we are also coming off a week that reminded us of some of the things that make golf the purest of all games. For example, after he completed his third round last Saturday, Tim Clark unilaterally launched an investigation into whether he had properly replaced his ball on the 16th green only to find he had not. This, of course, led to Clark assessing a penalty against himself and eliminating any chance he had to compete for the win.

Next, on Sunday, after Paddy Harrington completely imploded in the wake of one of Tiger’s all time shots (an 8 iron over water from 181 yards to within 6 inches…good God, that’s ridiculous), Tiger was the first person to jump to his defense and attribute Paddy’s implosion to the inexplicable decision to put the twosome on the clock on the 16th tee. In other words, the world’s greatest player, instead of thumping his chest and exalting his own accomplishment, went out of his way to stand up for one of his only legitimate challengers.

If you don’t think this is a big deal, take a second and try to imagine Kobe Bryant or Lebron James stepping to the microphone and defending the other if he missed a clutch free throw late in Finals game? This would NEVER happen. Not in a million years. As for the Clark situation, try to imagine Bryant driving to the hole, drawing a foul and tossing the ball to the ref while saying, “that wasn’t a foul.” Actually, that’s not a fair comparison. If he did that, Kobe would only average 15 points a game.

So, in this time of seemingly endless scandal in sports, at least we have one sport that continues to deliver quality competition and quality stories. And, for the next four days, I plan on completely immersing myself in the action at Hazeltine. If all goes well, come Monday, we should have something to talk about that doesn’t include the words “dogs”, “sweatpants”, “D.U.I.”, or “$3,000”. And, come Tuesday, only 19 days until kickoff. If we all stick together, we can make it.

Mid-Week Musings

2009-07-22T23:04:00.003-04:00

You know the best thing about having 600 channels? No, it's not re-runs of "Roseanne", although that's pretty sweet. It's the fact that, on pretty much every night, you can find "Top Gun". And yes, I just saw Goose give the bird for the 838th time. And no, it never gets old. With that said, let's get our butts above the hard deck and do some musing:

Remember how I compared the USA v. Brazil soccer match to a #15 seed hanging on against a #2 seed only to fall predictably and painfully short in the end? Well, Tom Watson at the British Open was exactly the same except 200 times worse. At least when the #15 seed or the USA soccer team blows it, only the guys on the team and their families really care. With Watson, pretty much the entire golf world, except Stewart Cink and Curtis Strange (now, officially more insufferable than Johnny Miller), was not only rooting for Watson, but was truly devastated when he hit the worst putt of his career on 18. I wish I could eloquently describe the emotions I felt watching Watson, and I wish I could pontificate on some greater meaning to be taken from Sunday. Unfortunately, I just can't. What could have been a truly special sports moment turned into one of the most sad, depressing, and gross sports moments I can remember. How's that for eloquent? On the bright side, since every third commercial Sunday was for Cialis, I'm pretty sure Watson is about to become the most uncomfortable spokesman since Bob Dole.

Do you think they considered recasting Goose before finally settling on having Anthony Edwards just keep his shirt on in the volleyball scene?

If I gave you a choice between reading one more story about Mike Vick or hugging Tony Siragusa after he just finished running wind sprints, which would you choose? Think about it. I know, it's tougher than you would think.

How about reading one more story about Brett Favre or playing in a foursome with Johnny Miller, Curtis Strange, and Chris Berman? Take your time....

How did I ever think Meg Ryan was attractive? I'm so ashamed of myself.

So, we are two episodes into the latest season of "Entourage". What do I think so far? Well, instead of attempting to artfully craft a meaningful synopsis of my impressions, I'm going to just copy and paste an email I fired off in a fit of rage after Hans expressed displeasure with episodes 1 and 2. Yes, it's rambling, obnoxious, terribly written, and I take a completely un-solicited shot at Stats, who wasn't even on the email (sorry, buddy - I love all your other Twitter posts), but it gets the point across:

Yes, it is frustrating to see E juggling chicks, but I couldn't be happier with the first two episodes. We are back to the roots. The boys living large, girls flocking, drinks flowing, etc... This is the recipe that made the show so fantastic in the beginning. Plus, the Ari/Lloyd stuff is off the charts funny. I keep hearing people complain about the first two episodes, especially Stats, and it infuriates me. This is what people have been begging for. I just think that people naturally believe that a show is supposed to "jump the shark" at some point, so they wait until they hear some grumbling and jump on the bandwagon. A buddy was complaining the other day that it's just not the same any more. I said, "give me one reason it's not the same." And, he couldn't. This isn't "House" or some other "smart" drama. This is 22 - 25 minutes a week of 4 dudes living the life we all wish we could live. And now, after two seasons of screwing with that life, the writers are back to the basics, and everybody is bagging on it. I'm so frustrated by this!!!! If you want drama, watch TNT...they know drama.

In other words, I'm pretty happy with what we have seen so far.

I've got to run. Mav just left his wing man to go after Viper. I've got a good feeling about this. I'm certain it's going to work out for him this time.

Take Me Out To The Ballgame

2009-07-16T23:35:00.003-04:00

This is the view I had from my sweet seats at tonight's Braves/Mets game. It was great times. There really is nothing like a major league baseball game to make you feel like a kid again. Of course, it didn't hurt sitting five feet from the Mets' on deck circle. Some of the highlights of the night included Luis Castillo shooting DB a wry smile after DB pointed out that the fan in row 5 had better hands than Castillo and David Wright responding to a fan's request for him to come play first base for the Braves by asking, "Who is going to play third?" This, of course, prompted us all to ask if he was calling out Chipper Jones and Wright quickly responding, with a huge smile, that Chipper was his favorite player. Trust me, it was a fantastic moment. In fact, every time Wright came to the on deck circle, he interacted with the fans. I hate to admit it, but he seems like a really solid guy.

I also had a great time taunting Sheffield, my least favorite Brave of all time, and Frenchy, the most...well, I don't even know what he was. Whatever it was, I'm just glad it's over. At the end of the day, I threw out about 25 taunts and made contact on about 5. In other words, while not an impressive batting average, I'm still out performing Frenchy.

Coming to You Live

2009-07-08T23:09:00.003-04:00

In my last post, I commented that MJ's Motown 25 performance of "Billy Jean" was my favorite non-Pearl Jam live performance of all time. Much to my delight, that comment has sparked much discussion. So, in true WAD fashion, I decided it was time for a Top 7. We, however, have a wrinkle. After watching dozens and dozens of clips on Youtube for more hours than I care to admit, I could only narrow the list to 8. So, ladies and gentlemen, you are receiving a bonus clip! Don't ever say I didn't do anything for you. With that said, here's my top 8 live musical performances of all time:

8) George Straight - A couple of remarkable things about this performance at the 1996 CMA Awards: (1) Vince Gill's mullet; (2) The band interrupting Vince's introduction; and (3) George actually plays the guitar in this performance, sort of. Honestly, there is actually nothing remarkable about this performance, but George is my favorite country artist and this is one of my favorite country songs. Done and done. Let's move on.

7) Marvin Gaye - Can we all just agree to play this version of the Anthem on the Jumbo Tron before every sporting event? I mean, it has never and will never get any better than this. Apologies to Carl Lewis.

6) Guns N' Roses - Can you believe this was 20 years ago? I mean, other than the grainy image and awful curtains behind the stage, its hard to believe two decades have past since GNR was in their prime, right? If you watch nothing else, you need to go to the 3:30 mark and marvel at Slash's chops, and then move ahead to the 5:24 mark when Axl goes all Axl. I think people forget that these guys were possibly the biggest band in the world back in '89. "Appetite for Destruction" has sold around 30 million copies, which places it in the Top 30 albums of all time. Shockingly, they fell victim to drugs, booze, and egos, and they weren't able to sustain their success, but it was fun while it lasted. Just think, if they had kept it together, Axl could be making country albums today, and Slash could be hooking up with Denise Richards. That's right, Bon Jovi stole GNR's career arch. They were the Matt Damon to GNR's Chris O'Donnell.

5) U2 - This is the rarest of rare performances: a Super Bowl halftime performance that actually delivered. Listen to the crowd going nuts in the background. That's not just the high school marching bands the NFL armed with matching t-shirts and glow sticks going nuts. That's the entire stadium going ape sh*t for Bono and the boys, including all the corporate stiffs. I remember watching this live in a friend's apartment in NYC and realizing at the time that I was watching a transcendent performance by one of the most important bands of my lifetime. I enjoyed it so much I almost forgot that Kurt Warner and the Rams were half way to making my first year of law school much more expensive than anticipated...almost.

4) Mariah Carey and Trey Lorenz - Not even their disastrous reunion at MJ's funeral can tarnish the greatness of this performance. Mariah was at her absolute apex in all respects. And, this is just an amazing song. How Trey Lorenz didn't parlay this into some level of stardom is beyond me. If this performance happened today, Lorenz would be on the cover of US Weekly with one of the stars of "Twilight" in less than a week, right?

3) Nirvana - I honestly don't know anybody currently between the ages of 30 and 36 that doesn't own the "Unplugged" album. You could choose any song from the show and put it in this spot, and I would be fine with it. I ultimately settled on "Man Who Sold the World" because I feel like it's the most connected Cobain is with the audience through the course of the show. He, of course, killed himself only a few months after putting in this performance. It still bums me out.

2) MJ - Simply incredible. It's the musical equivalent of Jordan's first half of Game 1 of the '92 Finals against the Blazers. It's greatness that defies explanation.

1) Pearl Jam - My favorite band of all time performing my favorite song of all time. If that's not enough, at about the 4:50 mark, Eddie completely loses his mind, tries to eat the microphone, and clearly enters an alternate universe. Any time you can pull off all three of these things at one time, you are going to find yourself at the top of a WAD Top 7 (or 8) list.

Monday Musings

2009-06-29T21:25:00.003-04:00

It's been a while since I gave you some musings, so here you go:

Last Thursday was a day for the ages. First, the Cavs acquired The Big Washed Up in the worst panic move since Ryan Reynold's said yes to "The Proposal" (yes, I saw it. Didn't love it. No need to dwell on this). Then, the Nets dealt Vince Carter to the Magic in what can only be described as the largest hand of blackjack ever played. Next, the King of Pop died. And, finally, in just 10 minutes, the Timberwolves managed to cement themselves as the most inept franchise in the NBA. That's right, I said it. Not even the Clippers are as big a disaster as the 'Wolves right now. Let's take a look at each of these events:

1) Shaq to Cleveland - The great Bill Simmons so eloquently compared this move to the guy that buys renter's insurance a week after he lost all his belongings in a robbery (or something like that). I think this is a perfect analogy. I mean, during the Eastern Conference Finals, DB and I must have asked no less than a dozen times, "How did Danny Ferry not trade Wally's expiring deal at the deadline????" And, if DB and I picked up on this, you know it was a glaringly obvious mistake, right? Here's the bottom line: The Cavs had the most valuable asset in the NBA not named Raef LaFrentz's expiring deal, and they did nothing with it. Instead, they sat on their hands and watched Hedu, Rashard, Dwight, and even J.J. Reddick (at times) pick and roll them right out of the NBA playoffs. In other words, they Eff'd up. No two ways about it. Listen, it sucks, but we've all been there. We've all made mistakes, but we've all learned that the worst thing you can do is make matters worse by hastily trying to make up for the mistake with a desperate act. I mean, this is how 97% of all relationships end, right? Every man learns this lesson by the time he leaves middle school. So, there was no chance Danny Ferry was going to make everything worse by making a panic deal. Ummmmm, yeah, not so much.

So, Ferry, completely ignoring what every dude above the age of 14 knows, goes out and picks up $20 million of a 37 year old Shaq. Now, let me be clear. I love Shaq and think there was a time he would have made the Cavs immeasurably better. That time was about 2002. Needless to say, in 2009, I'm not buying it. Just to reiterate, the Cavs' met their demise because they couldn't guard a younger, more athletic, and superior shooting team that feasted on high pick and rolls. And, their reaction is to spend $20 million on a guy that couldn't guard the high pick and roll in his prime!!!!! Yes, I just used five exclamation points. Let's think of this a little differently. If I told you that Justin Timberlake decided he was missing something in his life and he decided the solution was to start dating Sharon Stone, you would be pretty certain that wouldn't end well. Well, Lebron James playing along side Shaq is the NBA equivalent of JT/Stone. That makes sense, right? Ah, screw it. You get the point.

2) Vince to Orlando - Honestly, if you are the Magic (yes, I'm ripping off the Hubie Brown impersonation from BS), you HAVE to make this deal. On paper, this deal is a no-brainer. Unfortunately for the Magic, however, VC's abilities can't be measured on paper. Usually, you use the "can't be measured on paper" in a positive manner. For example, you just can't measure on paper what Shane Battier gives you. Let's just say that isn't how it works with VC. Bottom line: If VC shows up, plays hard, plays even a little defense, and can quietly live with deferring shots to Hedu (the Magic are undoubtedly re-signing him, right?), Lewis, Nelson, and Howard, the Magic are probably going to win it all next year. We've seen this formula work before with guys like Tiny Archibald and Bill Walton in Boston and Gary Payton in Miami. The difference with those guys, however, is that they were in the twilight of their career and understood they could no longer harbor dreams of being the best guy on a championship team. Is VC in that place? Only time will tell. For now, the Magic are sitting with two eights against the dealer's 10. They've got no choice but to split 'em. Unfortunately for the Magic, however, they have $33.6 million on the table.

3) Michael Jackson dies - Not a shocking moment, but still surreal. Yes, "Thriller" was my first tape, and I still remember when it showed up in my Easter Basket. MJ's "Billy Jean" performance at "Motown at 25" is my favorite live performance of all time not involving Pearl Jam. And, "Man in the Mirror" is one of ten favorite songs of all time. That's really all I have to say about his passing. If you want more detailed analysis, I'm sure can go to the front page of every newspaper and every news organization's website. And, if you are interested in what's going on in Iran, or if you want to learn about the "climate legislation" being pushed through Congress, or anything else that is likely to actually impact your life, you can probably find those on page 2.

4) The Timberwolves - Okay, so you trade your second best young player (Randy Foye) and a knock down shooter and his expiring contract (Mike Miller) to Washington for the #5 pick in the draft. Then, you turn around and take the player with the most upside in the draft with the #5 pick (Rubio). Only problem is that Rubio is the one player in the draft with options (i.e. if I don't want to play for you, I'll just go make boat loads of money in Europe and come back to the NBA in two years when I'm 21!), and you have no guaranty from him that he won't exercise those options and actually play for you. Wait a minute, did I say that was the only problem? I almost forgot that, with the VERY NEXT PICK in the draft, you take a guy that plays the exact same position as Rubio!!! In other words, if Rubio was on the fence about coming to Minnesota, you just pushed him right over to the other side. So, now, you are faced with the inevitable result that Rubio is going to head back to Europe, you just gave away Foye and Miller for nothing, and it is below zero for half the year in Minnesota. It's great to be a T'Wolve's fan!

My God, I knew this was bad, but until I just saw it on paper, I don't think I even had a grasp for how catastrophic this is. I mean, the only move that comes close is Chris Wallace giving away Pau Gasol for Kwame Brown and a bag of flaming poop. I, of course, am only guessing that the Lakers sent the bag of flaming poop. If you walked up to 100 random people on the street and described the above scenario to them (the Rubio situation, not the flaming poop situation), every last one of them would agree that it was a disaster, right? In fact, I just called my Mother, who has probably watched exactly 0 NBA games in her life, and described the situation to her, and she responded, "Yeah, that's not a good thing." Thanks, Mom. I'm not sure I need to say anything else.

I thoroughly enjoyed watching the USA v. Brazil soccer game on Sunday. Well, I enjoyed everything except those intolerable horns the crowd was constantly blowing. And, that whole blowing a two goal lead wasn't very fun either. Actually, let me amend my position. I thoroughly enjoyed watching the first half. I was discussing the game with a friend tonight, and I told him that I felt just like I do when I'm watching a 15 seed take a 2 seed down to the wire in the NCAA Tournament. In other words, unless it was Hampton v. Iowa State in '01 (still bitter), you are watching, you are cheering, and you are hoping the underdog can hold on, but you know you are inevitably going to be disappointed when the favorite catches some breaks, makes some plays, and ultimately overcomes the underdog in the final two minutes. And, of course, when it's over, you hate yourself for ever believing it was going to turn out differently. I have a name for this scenario, but since this is a family friendly environment, I will leave it to you to give it your own name. At any rate, that's how I felt Sunday afternoon. I hate it when I feel that way!

So, as I mentioned above I saw "The Proposal" this weekend. I was planning on breaking it down for you, but I thought about it and decided to spare you the time and spare me the heckling. Somehow, though, I don't think I'm going to avoid the heckling.

Redemption Revisited?

2009-06-22T20:43:00.005-04:00

By now, more than enough words have been written by more than enough writers about today's back nine at Bethpage. Honestly, I don't feel as if I have much to add. Instead, I invite you all to re-read this column I posted nearly three years ago:

http://atlantawad.blogspot.com/2006/07/redemption-song.html

Granted, it looks like I was three years premature with this article, but after reading it, I think you will understand why this U.S. Open, even with all its flaws, will be one that I will never forget. For me, it was both exhilarating and, ultimately, bitterly disappointing. As I said back in July '06, however, a story of redemption is always one worth watching. Now, I'm just hoping this weekend only marked the beginning of one of the greatest redemption stories we may ever see.

Tarnished Greatness?

2009-06-18T17:28:00.003-04:00

As is so often the case, the idea for this column came from one of my buddies. Specifically, DB sent me an email last week informing me that "88 Minutes" starring Al Pacino is, at best, dreadful. After exchanging a few emails, in which DB shared with me the details of this disaster, he posed this question: "At this point, is Pacino ruining his legacy?" Two things happened when I read this question: 1) I screamed "No" at the top of my lungs, causing my secretary to run into my office to ask what was wrong; and 2) I immediately began banging out a 500 word response to DB telling him why this was not the case. Now, 7 days later, at DB's request, I have watched "88 Minutes". The result? Well, I really wish I hadn't watched it, but my response to DB's question hasn't changed. Why? I'm glad you asked.

To begin the analysis, you must consider this: from the time he burst on the scene as Michael Corleone in 1972 until he implored us all to fight for that inch as Coach D'Amato in 1999, here is how Pacino filled those 27 years:

"The Godfather";

"The Godfather: Part II";

"Dog Day Afternoon";

"And Justice for All";

"Scarface";

"Dick Tracy";

"Frankie and Johnny";

"Glengarry Glen Ross";

"Scent of a Woman";

"Carlito's Way";

"Heat";

"City Hall";

"Donnie Brasco";

"The Devil's Advocate";

"The Insider"; and

"Any Given Sunday".

Good God, read that list again! Sure, I left some less than memorable films off the list ("The Godfather: Part III" NEVER happened!!!!), but has any single actor ever had such an extended run of undeniable greatness? I defy you to pick any one of those movies and tell me that Pacino didn't lift it to otherwise unobtainable levels. I mean, has any other entertainer or athlete ever had even an equally impressive run in their chosen profession? Well, again, I'm glad you asked.

From 1991 -1998, MJ put together the only run in sports or entertainment history comparable to Pacino's nearly three decade reign. From '91 - '98, MJ played 6 full seasons, won six titles, averaged 30.6 pts/game, shot exactly 50% from the field, played in 486 of a possible 492 regular season games, never missed a playoff game, played every possible game from '96-'98, won 4 MVP's, and personally destroyed every player that even dared challenge him. And yes, his two years in minor league baseball were his "The Godfather: Part III".

Please re-read the previous paragraph and take a minute to soak in those numbers. I watched nearly every game MJ played from '91-'98, and I own every one of his playoff games during that time on VHS, and I still can't believe those numbers when I see them in print. Similarly, I've seen every movie Pacino has ever made (thanks to DB making me watch "88 Minutes"), and every time I watch them, I am continually amazed at how he carries each and every one, up until "Any Given Sunday".

Now, the question I'm sure you are asking yourself is how in the hell did DB asking if Pacino is ruining his legacy lead me to performing an in depth breakdown of MJ's career? It's a fair question, and here's the answer: We can all agree that MJ was one of the greatest, if not the greatest (which he was), basketball players of all time, and when you think of MJ today, you think of the MJ I described above. You never think of the MJ that took his last fade away for the Washington Wizards in 2003. In the same vein, we should all be able to agree that Pacino is one of the greatest, if not the greatest, actors of all time, and when it is all said and done for him, you are going to remember Michael Corleone, Tony Montana, Lt. Col. Frank Slade, Lt. Vincent Hanna, and Lowell Bergman. You will never remember him as Dr. Jack Gramm in "88 Minutes" or Rooster Fisk in "Righteous Kill". In other words, when entertainers or athletes reach the apex of their profession and ingrain themselves into the national consciousness for doing what they do, we, as their fans, are more than willing to forgive the sins of the twilight of their careers, no matter how egregious.

This phenomenon, of course, is not limited to Pacino and Jordan. In fact, we are living it right now with Brett Favre. While there are more than a few people, myself included, that really wish Favre would just hang up the cleats and move on, the truth is that we want this only for our selfish reasons. For one reason, we are afraid that watching Favre tank down the stretch for the Jets or do God knows what with the Vikings will somehow cause us to forget all the moments that caused us to love Favre in the first place. It's kind of silly when you think about it, though. I mean, all the empirical evidence proves that, when we are telling our children about Favre, all we will remember is him threading balls into impossible places in crucial moments at Lambeau, willing his teammates to impossible victories, and running around like a mad man after winning it all against the Pats.

Don't believe me? Well, do you remember Dale Murphy winning two MVP's for the Braves, or do you remember him walking away two homers short of 400 with the Rockies? Do you remember Magic running the Showtime fast break like it was what he was born to do, or do you remember his 32 game comeback with the Lakers in '95? Do you remember Joe Montana limping off after a 1st round playoff loss for the Chiefs in '94, or do you remember his decade of near perfection for the 49er's? Do you remember Mike Tyson not answering the bell for the 7th round against Kevin McBride, or do you remember him devastating Michael Spinks in 91 seconds? Do our fathers and grand fathers remember Willie Mays making backward basket catches in the Polo Grounds, or do they remember him limping around the outfield at Shea? Finally, do our fathers remember Muhammad Ali badly losing his last two fights to Larry Holmes and Trevor Berbick, or do they remember him vanquishing Foreman in Zaire and Frazier in Manila?

Now, if I were a betting man, I would wager that most of you don't have any memories of Murphy as a Rockie, Magic even coming back in '95, or Tyson losing to McBride; and I would bet you didn't know that Ali closed his career with two devastating losses. And, I would be willing to bet that if I asked you who starred in "Don Juan DeMarco", "The Island of Dr. Moreau", "The Brave", and "Free Money", you wouldn't guess Marlon Brando. In fact, I'm guessing your response would be, "I've never heard of any of those movies".

The obvious, and final, question that arises is why do we manage to forget about the sins of our sports and entertainment heroes' later careers? Frankly, if I knew the answer, I could probably right a pretty entertaining book. In fact, I'm hoping Malcolm Gladwell takes on the subject some day. For now, however, I can only offer my best guess, which is based on my own experience. The fact of the matter is that we watch sports, movies, television, etc... as a means to escape the "real world". We watch in the hopes of seeing something that will allow us to talk to our co-workers at the water cooler, our friends at the bar, and our families over the dinner table. And, when we watch with our family and friends, we hope for a moment that we can forever share with those around it. Face it, there are very few things more exciting than sharing a great sports moment (i.e. Jordan over Russell in the '98 Finals) with your buddies. I mean, it's been 11 years since that shot, and seldom does more than two weeks go by that I don't have the "did MJ push off" conversation with someone. Similarly, watching a great movie with your friends and/or family can provide a lifetime of quotes and anecdotes. For God's sake, not a day went by in college that Stats, CC, and I didn't either watch or quote "Heat", "Tommy Boy", "Hoosiers", or any one of a few dozen movies.

Bottom line, our sports and entertainment heroes provide us with a unique type of excitement and joy that we need. Now, in the grand scheme of things, that might seem a little screwed up, but that's just the way it is. And, given that, the answer to the question that started this column is that short of starring with Miley Cyrus in a "Hannah Montana" movie, there is nothing Al Pacino can do to tarnish his legacy. Ah, who am I kidding. I'd watch that movie. I watched "88 Minutes" for God's sake!

Checking in...

2009-06-09T21:04:00.002-04:00

There is so much I want to say about the Finals through two games, but I'll be honest with you, I just don't have it in me tonight. It's not that I'm too tired, or that I don't have the time. Nope. The reason is that I am watching Game 3 on a 21" non HD television in my hotel room. Honestly, it's 2009, is there any reason I should be subjected to watching an NBA Finals game in non-HD? I can't think of a single reason! While I'm thinking about it, here's a few more things in these NBA Finals I don't think I should ever have to be subjected to again:

1) Kobe's contrived under bite;

2) Any reference by Breen, Jackson, or JVG to Kobe "really wanting this", or being "a coach on the floor", or being anything other than a selfish and universally loathed teammate with exceptional scoring ability;

3) GM commercials that try to convince me a bankruptcy filing is a good thing for a company! Listen, GM, I appreciate the effort, but maybe you should have "gotten down to business" a while ago and you wouldn't have to convince me you aren't "going out of business". Listen, folks, if my employer fires me, I'm going to tell you that I didn't get "fired". Instead, I'm going to tell you I'm "getting fired up". You'll believe me, right?;

4) Luke Walton;

5) JJ Reddick;

6) The NBA publicly defending its refs and trying to convince us that they are not collectively worse at their jobs than GM management team (For God's sake, even Phil Jackson admitted Pau goal tended (is that a word?) at the end of Game 2);

7) The muppet commercials. This had the potential to be great, but the kid puppet should be beat;

8) Dorris Burke's useless questions to Phil Jackson and SVG;

9) Dorris Burke's unabashed longing for Kobe Bryant in every post game interview; and

10) Well, let's face it: all things Kobe. Between him, Dorris Burke, and the officiating, I'm tempted to watch "Leverage".

Hollywood vs. The Magic Kingdom

2009-06-03T22:46:00.004-04:00

Folks, welcome to the first annual celebration that will be now known as "The WAD picked the C's in 6 and Paul Pierce to win the MVP in '08 Day." That's right, in case you forgot, and as often as I've reminded you I'm not sure how you could, I nailed last year's Finals. Unfortunately, no matter what Shane Falco says, glory does not last forever. You are only as good as your last prediction. And, considering that I loudly proclaimed the Magic had no chance of beating the Cavs, I'm not very good right now. In my defense, I made that prediction before two things happened: 1) Stan Van Gundy morphed from the "Master of Panic" into a steady and solid leader of men, much like Doc Rivers before him; and 2) we learned that Big Z, Ben Wallace, and Joe Smith died at some point this season, and Moe Williams is a graduate of the Karl Malone School of Clutch. At any rate, its time for the '09 Finals, and as the great Roger Dorn said, "let's cut through the crap". (Yes, I just managed to make a "The Replacements" and "Major League" reference in less than 200 words. I'm beyond excited about this). Here's a 7 prong preview of the Finals:

7) The much anticipated Pau Gasol v. Dwight Howard match up is secretly a terrible mis-match. Before I go any further, let me just say that I am a HUGE Dwight Howard fan, and I am very excited about watching him play for the next 10-12 years.....you know it's coming....are you ready?....BUT, this is a terrible match up for him. Here's the deal: We are going to see a lot of Andrew Bynum in this series, and he, not Pau, will be matched up on Dwight. The reason? Well, it's two fold: 1) I think we learned in the Cavs series that you simply cannot afford to double Dwight and leave the perimeter shooters; and 2) If you are going to single the guy and concede 30 -40 points a game, you might as well just put Bynum on him and let him accumulate the fouls. Not to mention, you might even see Odom and Ariza take limited shots at Dwight just to mix things up. Again, the goal is not to stop Dwight from scoring, it's to cover the perimeter and keep Lewis, Alston, Pietrus, the Turkish Jordan, etc... from killing you the way they killed the Cavs. Oh, one more thing: Pau is a dreadful defender, so you gain nothing from having him guard Dwight.

Now, on the flip side, if you are the Magic, Dwight has to guard Pau, you have no other options. Well, we know that, as bad a defender as Pau is, he far more than makes up for it on the offensive end. He's active, aggressive, and creative on the block. He can even step out, give you the head fake, and go to the rim. In other words, he is a nightmare to defend. And, we also know that Dwight is more than a little foul prone. Bottom line is that Dwight might put up big numbers, but he is going to be constantly battling foul trouble, and he is going to be spending key fourth quarter minutes on the bench while Pau is going to be spending those minutes battling the likes of Marcin Gortat. If you are one of the 18 Magic fans out there, you just threw up a little.

6) What do we make of this Jameer Nelson situation? Honestly, I have no idea, and I can't imagine the Magic do either. As a matter of full disclosure, Jameer has been one of my favorite players since his days at St. Joe's. He's one of the top 5 college point guards I've ever seen in person. I'm not going to debate that here, but I'm more than happy to do so any time you want to buy me beers. That being said, this is a terrible injury he is trying to rush back from, and I would be shocked if was able to contribute offensively. He, however, could possibly be able to bring short stints of defensive pressure on the Lakers line of atrocious point guards, if nothing else. That, however, might even be wishful thinking. At the end of the day, we just have to wait and see. In all likelihood, however, as much as I wish it wasn't so, this story is probably much adieu about nothing. I just don't see Jameer making much of an impact on this series.

5) Pop quiz: of all the players in the NBA Finals, which player has the best +/- rating? If you guessed Kobe, Dwight, Hedu, Pau, or Rashard Lewis, you would be wrong. If, however, you chose Lamar Odom, you would be right. That's right, arguably the most maligned and criticized player in these finals, at least statistically, has the biggest positive impact for his team when he's on the floor. I'm not sure this has anything to do with who will win or lose the Finals, but I thought it was worth mentioning. I've got your back, L.O.!

4) As for the coaching match-up, the easy analysis tells you that the Lakers have the clear edge. This is, in part, because Phil Jackson has 9 rings and is the most decorated and celebrated coach of our lifetime. And, of course, part of it is that it has become cool and hip to degrade Van Gundy, whether it be for allegedly panicking or because he looks like a porn star. But, frankly, that is way too simplistic, and it is unfair to Van Gundy.

In these playoffs, Van Gundy made some phenomenal adjustments in the Celtics series and led his team back from down 3-2 to win a game 7 on the road in the Garden. Then, against the Cavs, he kept his team together when they fell behind by 20+ in both games 1 and 2, and then kept them together after Lebron's legendary game winner in game 2. In other words, regardless of his appearance, and regardless of the fact that he's made some dubious decisions along the way, he has done an amazing job coaching this team into the NBA Finals.

On the other hand, we have Phil Jackson, who, frankly, looks like he is about as interested in these playoffs as I am in watching "Leverage" on TNT (just a dreadful show, trust me on this one). Seriously, I'm not sure if it's boredom or anger, but he has not once looked like a man that is excited about being where he is. Personally, I think his second book about Kobe is going to be phenomenal. And, I think there is at least a 20% chance he punches Kobe or LO in this series. In other words, this is clearly a man that doesn't like his players, isn't happy doing what he is doing, and is arrogant enough to think that he is going to win because he's Phil Jackson and Stan Van Gundy is, well, the Hedgehog. All this could ultimately add up to the unthinkable: SVG could very easily out coach Phil Jackson in this series. I'm not even kidding.

3) Prediction #1: Jeff Van Gundy's head is going to explode as he tries to announce this series with objectivity. Pay close attention as Mark Jackson takes little jabs at him and SVG. These guys are the best basketball announcing crew in the world (only because CBS stupidly won't put Gus and Raf together for the NCAA Tournament), and it is going to be tremendous listening to them throughout this series. While we are here, Mike Breen and Ernie Johnson, Jr. both deserve induction into the basketball hall of fame. No point guard in the history of the game has ever held a team together with the precision these guys show night in and night out. If we ever have another Middle East Peace Conference, we should definitely put these guys in the middle to moderate. I know, I'm not making much sense right now. Moving on....

2) Prediction #2: The officials will make a call that will absolutely swing this series in one direction. It's been brewing all post season, and there is no way to avoid it. Given the refs treatment of the Mamba, I have a bad feeling for the Magic fans.

1) Ultimate Prediction: My hands are literally shaking as I'm writing this, but the Mamba is going to get his fourth ring. Despite the fact that he was atrocious in the '04 and '08 Finals, and despite the fact that he quit on his team in the '06 Playoffs, this is a different Mamba (Yes, I felt obligated to remind you of his greatest failures, deal with it!). He is playing like a man possessed, and frankly, he is playing with the desperation of a man that knows this is his last best chance at solidifying his legacy. He's not quite at the Billy Chapel level, but he's not far off. Plus, let's not forget that he has a lot of help. Pau Gasol is the best offensive center in the league, and Ariza and Odom are much better than people like to admit. I believe that every game will be close, but I think Kobe will too tough in the clutch. When it's all said and done, the Lakers win in 5 (after a horrible call in Game 4 prevents the Magic from tying the series), and the Mamba wins the Finals MVP, and finally, after 13 controversial and turbulent seasons, vaults into the top 10 greatest players of all time. Even I can't deny him that, even if the guy did give himself a nickname.

Before I go, I have two quick random thoughts:

- What is Nike going to do about the puppets now that Lebron is out? I'm sure they have something in store for us, but I'm just not certain what it will be. Is it possible, and I'm just talking out loud, that there is an MJ puppet in our future? Actually, I can't believe I just wrote that. If MJ allows himself, even in puppet form, to be associated with Kobe in any way, it will be proof of two things: 1) Divorce really kills you financially, and you can't afford to say no to money, no matter how degrading the circumstances; and 2) Life as I've known it is over.

- I've already received two dozen emails tonight asking for my thoughts on the Braves releasing Tom Glavine. All I will say about this is that this is a very difficult time, and I would ask that you respect my privacy as I cope with the end of the Braves franchise as I've known and loved it. Seriously, from a current personnel perspective, the move really isn't a huge deal, but it's just symbolic of the continued demise of the franchise as it drifts further and further from what used to be. I'm certain I will address this, as well as many other Braves issues in the near future, but for now, suffice it to say that I'm not thrilled with anything going on down at Turner Field. In fact, I'm very close to losing all hope. And, despite what Andy told Red, I'm afraid that hope can die, especially when it's buried under a boring and mediocre baseball team.

Hawk Talk

2009-05-25T19:53:00.002-04:00

First of all, Happy Memorial Day to everyone. And, more importantly, thank you to all of you that have served our country both at home and abroad. We are all forever indebted to each and every one of you. I'm sure many of you have spent this day with friends and family, enjoying some burgers and hot dogs, and maybe even taking that first dip of the year in the neighborhood pool. Me? In typical exciting WAD fashion, I've spent the better part of today plowing through the NBA CBA, as well as the salary figures for the Hawks and each of the 29 other NBA franchises. After the past few weeks of listening to countless sports talk radio callers proposing impossible scenario after impossible scenario for the Hawks to pursue this off-season, and after ending too many of my own conversations about the Hawks with the words, "if that is even possible", I decided it was time to figure out what I would do this summer if I was Hawks' GM Rick Sund.

Before delving too deep, I have to concede that the NBA Collective Bargaining Agreement is a very complex and confusing agreement, and the rules for trades and free agent signings are not easy to understand. In fact, it would be beyond disingenuous for me to hold myself out as an expert on these issues, and it is almost an absolute certainty that I've overlooked some obvious possibilities in my analysis. That, of course, isn't going to stop me from chiming in.

Let me start with a question. Have you ever traveled to Vegas with your boys, gotten off the plane, waited in the cab line for an hour, spent another hour checking into your room, and then raced down to the casino floor with a wad of cash in hand and visions of wealth in your head? Sure you have. We've all been there before, and we all know that unique excitement we feel when we walk into the blackjack pit for the first time. Unfortunately, however, we all also know how it feels when we hit the pit only to realize that there are no open spots at the table we want to play. You were seconds away from completing the cross country journey, sitting down, ordering your first Jack and Diet, and placing your first $25 bet. Now, however, since there are no seats at the $25 tables, you have three choices: 1) You can go kill some time at the craps table and patiently wait for a spot to open up; 2) You can try to convince one of your buddies to walk to another casino with you in search of a $25 table (this is only an option if you aren't staying at the Palms or Hard Rock); or 3) You can decide not to delay your gratification and somehow justify to yourself sitting down at the $100 table. If you've ever been in this situation and you've chosen option #3, you will understand when I say that you NEVER sit down at the $100 table just for the sake of placing a bet.

Now, you are probably asking yourself, "what the hell does any of this have to do with the Hawks?" Fair question. The answer is that, for the Hawks, this off-season looks and feels an awful lot like a full blackjack pit. In other words, we would all undoubtedly love nothing more than to run out this off-season with our wad of cash (counting our first round pick, the Hawks have only about $43 million in committed salary for next year with the cap likely to come in around $57 million and the luxury tax trigger likely to come in around $71 million) and make a big free agent signing or orchestrate a blockbuster trade that will vault us from a nice 4-seed to a legitimate contender along with Cleveland, Boston, and Orlando. This urge is completely understandable. The past two years, we have tasted a measure of playoff success, and now we want more. Unfortunately, however, we've walked right into probably the worst free agent class of the decade, which is full of potentially disastrous decisions. So, it's my belief that, much like the guy walking into the full blackjack pit, Rick Sund would be very wise to exercise some patience, go play a little craps, and wait it out until a spot opens up. Fortunately for Sund, his spot would open up in the 2010 free agent class, which, in complete contrast to this year's class, may be the best free agent class we've ever seen. Since most of you are aware of all the big names in the class of 2010, I won't bore you with all the details. Suffice it to say, however, that the class of '10 doesn't begin and end with Lebron and D. Wade. For a full listing, click here.

All that being said, just like there is opportunity to make a few dollars at the craps table while waiting for your blackjack seat, there is opportunity for the Hawks to better themselves this summer. I, however, don't think it's realistic to think that there are any free agent moves out there that will immediately vault us to the next level, and, with one wild and far fetched exception, I don't see any trades that will do the trick. In fact, I can only craft a single trade that made any sense for the Hawks that also remotely made sense for the other trading party that would make the Hawks markedly better. And, even this trade, doesn't really make sense for the other party and requires you to make some big concessions and assumptions. Let me explain.

If you are willing to concede that Al Horford is never going to give us more than we've already seen, and if you are willing to concede that we've seen the best of Joe Johnson (two concessions I'm not sure I'm willing to make), then you might consider offering Al, Joe, and Acie Law to New Orleans for Chris Paul, David West, and Julian Wright. Now, you are probably asking yourself, "why would New Orleans even let you finish making this offer before they hung up the phone?" Well, if you believe what you hear and read, the Hornets are in dire financial straights and will have no choice but to dump salary wherever they can this off-season. And, you have to imagine that a salary dump will inevitably lead to Chris Paul consulting with Steve Francis and Stephon Marbury on the best way to escape a sinking ship of a franchise. So, if New Orleans is completely honest with itself and recognizes that its window with Paul has already closed before it even opened, they should jump at the chance to unload the $24.9 million they've committed to West through the '11-'12 season and the $63.7 million they've committed to Paul through the '12-'13 season for $21.5 million of Joe, Al, and Acie that all come off the books after next year. Right? Even better for New Orleans is that if Al takes the leap, they can exercise a team option in '10 and keep him for only $5 million. Honestly, when I started typing this, I actually thought this would be a horrendous deal for the Hornets, but the more I type, the more I am talking myself into this. Again, if New Orleans was honest with themselves, this deal makes a lot of sense. But, it's never going to happen. Why? Well, no matter how dire it's financial situation is, the one thing New Orleans can sell its fan base on is Paul. When you have a special player like CP3, you are going to put butts in the seat on that alone, not to mention that you can still convince your fans that you are trying to win, even if you aren't. If the Hornets trade Paul, they will have 2,000 fans/game next year, and they might as well pull the moving truck up to the front door. And, there isn't a deal the Hawks could put together that would allow the Hornets to unload Tyson Chandler's deal, and the Hornets aren't going to make a deal unless they can rid themselves of that contract. Oh, and for the record, if I was Rick Sund, and if this deal were actually possible, not only would I do it in a heart beat, I would help Joe and Al pack. And yes, I love Joe and Al, but it's just business, baby.

Okay, so with the unlikely blockbuster trade discussion out of the way, in a nutshell, if I were Rick Sund, here's what I would do while I was waiting for the blackjack table to open up:

1) I'm a big Mike Bibby fan, but he made $15 million this past season. He will undoubtedly sign for less, but how much less? $10 million? $8 million? Frankly, it doesn't matter to me. The first thing I'm doing is signing Jarret Jack to an offer sheet at the qualifying amount of $2.9 million. With T.J. Ford on the books at $8.5 million through '11, are the Pacers going to match? I just don't see it. Then, I take some cash, and I take a real gamble. Specifically, I give Stephon Marbury a chance to redeem his career. Sure, he was a disaster in New York and Boston, but he's a 32 year old former all star that has averaged 19.3 points and 7.6 assists/game in less than 900 total games. The real question here is not whether Steph is worth taking a risk on, it's how much will it cost us? Well, the league minimum for a guy with 10+ years is $1.352 million/year. I simply can't imagine anybody paying Steph more than twice that amount. Plus, he has strong ties here in Atlanta, so it's a natural fit for him. So, at the end of the day, you can have two Georgia Tech point guards for around $6 million. And, at least in theory, you have two guys that can attack the rim, draw defenders away from and create open looks for Joe, while also creating easier offensive opportunities for Al.

2) We have to re-sign ZaZa. We need his size and intangibles, and he is cheap. This is a no brainer. If you look at the big men on the free agent market, you will understand. Then again, you can grab Rad Nesterovic or Adonal Foyle if you want! No? Yeah, I didn't think so.

3) Also, you have to re-sign Flip Murray. If you let Bibby go, you can't afford to lose Flip's shooting ability. Plus, in this economy, Flip isn't going to command an unfair wage.

4) Finally, Marvin is a restricted free agent, and somebody will sign him to an offer sheet at the qualifying amount of $7.355 million. You absolutely have to match this. I'm not even going to argue about this. Marvin has improved every season, and while he will never be Chris Paul (deal with it, Hawks fans!), $7.355 is a fair price for what he brings to the table.

As I conceded up front, there may be deals or signings out there that I'm overlooking, and if so, I would love for you to bring them to my attention. However, given what I see on the free agent market, and given our current roster situation, I think the above plan is a prudent way to attack this off season. If you bring in JJ and Steph, you have a real chance of upgrading the PG position, and you stand pat everywhere else. You win 50 games next year, and most importantly, you position yourself beautifully for the summer of 2010 when you can make a run at a big time free agent and when you have to make a decision on whether to try to keep Joe around for the remainder of his career.

I'm the first one to concede that this isn't an exciting plan, but we will be a lot happier after showing a little patience when we sit down at the $25 table and play all night instead of blowing all our cash in the blink of an eye at the $100 table. Trust me, I've been there.

The NBA...Where The WAD Happens

2009-05-21T21:23:00.003-04:00

First of all, I am sorry to disappoint those who took my prolonged absence from the blogosphere as a sign that I had either given up the pen or died. I know you were very excited about both of these possibilities, and if you stick around long enough I'm sure you will get your wish. For now, however, I'm still here, and we might as well make the most of it. Hold on to your seats, here are seven observations arising from and relating to the NBA Conference Finals:

7) At the moment I'm writing this, the Lakers are up 8 points at the end of the first quarter in Game 2. When they play with the intensity they came out with tonight, they are tough to beat. When the officials come out and officiate the way they have tonight, the Lakers are impossible to beat. At this point, I know me complaining about NBA officiating is about as original as a young actress leaking a snuff flick so I won't make you endure another rant. Suffice it to say, the Nuggets wouldn't be any worse off if Spike Lee was wearing a whistle.

6) Speaking of Spike, SHAME ON YOU, SPIKE LEE!!!! You are one of the most accomplished, respected, and socially relevant filmmakers of all time. You are the man that brought us "She's Gotta Have It"; "Do the Right Thing"; "Jungle Fever"; "Malcolm X"; "He Got Game"; and "The Original Kings of Comedy", among many other amazing films. In other words, you are one of the all time greats, and you didn't need to make a nauseating 2 hour infomercial for one of the the most unlikeable athletes of all time as part of his relentless campaign to convince the world he is not a bad guy. Nope, you didn't have to do it. But, you did. Then, you showed up court side for Game 1 of the Conference finals, decked out in Laker gear and cheering for the Show like a life long fan. If I were a Knick fan, I would rather see Stephon Marbury and Steve Francis in the back-court next year than see Spike Lee sitting courtside. Everything about this Spike/Kobe relationship infuriates me. I have to move on.

5) I've labored over this decision, but I think K-Mart's lips tattoo edges out Steph's head tattoo for NBA Playoff Tattoo of the Year. On the bright side, I've consulted Paula Abdul and she thinks Steph's tattoo has a real chance to be a star because of its presence, originality, and ability to make every head its own.

4) We just reached the half in the Lakers/Nuggets game. Three observations for the price of one here: 1) Considering the Nuggets could not, let me repeat that in all caps...COULD NOT have played with less effort, and someone on the Lakers actually has to brandish a weapon to draw a foul call, it's not a good sign for the Show that they are only up a point at the break; 2) I really hope we see the replay of Chauncey throwing the ball off Kobe's back on the inbounds pass in Spike's next documentary, "Kobe Getting Worked"; and 3) Kobe's MJ impersonation in the halftime interview was dead on. Great job by him. He always rises to the occasion.

3) Does anyone else love the fact that John Barry calls Mike Wilbon "Wilby"? Not sure why, but that slays me. While we are here, I just have to say how much I love the announcing and studio crews during the conference finals. One night you get Marv, Doug Collins, and the TNT studio crew. Then, the next night you get the Breen, Jackson, Van Gundy triumvirate coupled with JB, Magic, and Wilby in the studio! I mean, does it get any better than that? This is just another reason why the NBA Playoffs are so much fun to watch. The NBA, where amazing announcing happens.

2) Dwight Howard went for 30 and 13 in Game 1 and was sensational. He is now giving a nationally televised interview in a wife beater. It's good to be Dwight Howard.

1) Finally, the Magic deserve all the credit in the world for coming back from a huge halftime deficit, withstanding a relentless onslaught by Lebron, and stealing Game 1. So, here you go Orlando, here's your credit. Now, enjoy the next four games and enjoy your off-season. If any of you think Game 1 is an indication that Lebron is not winning a ring, and based off many emails I received today, you do, you are wrong. Cleveland has only 10 more games to wait until they can finally have the parade they have longed for on the banks of the Cuyahoga. Unless, of course, the EPA forbids that many people from getting anywhere near the Cuyahoga.

Quick Sunday Musings on the Week Gone By

2009-05-10T22:29:00.004-04:00

First of all, I hope all the mothers out there enjoyed a wonderful Mother's Day. I was fortunate enough to enjoy a wonderful morning and brunch with my parents and some close friends. I, of course, had to cut it short to race home and watch the Rockets dismantle the Lakers, but it was a great time. Seriously, the WAD Mom is the best mom in the world, which, by definition means she is better than your mom. It's a fact. Okay, fine. Your mom is great too. At any rate, as the Celtics and Magic bring a memorable sports week to a close, let's tackle 7 highlights of the week gone by:

7) I'm not ready to declare baseball dead to me, mainly because I reserve the right to get totally wrapped up in an improbable Braves playoff run, but I'm very close. While Ken Griffey, Jr. was always my favorite non-brave through my childhood and teenage years, Manny Ramirez was undoubtedly my favorite non-Brave of the past 8 years. When I moved to NYC in 2001, I knew two things for certain: 1) I was taking out enough student loans to feed an entire third world country for a significant time; and 2) I hated the Yankees (I can never explain the hatred that arose from the Yanks stealing the Braves' dynasty in the '96 Series). There wasn't much I could do about the first thing, but as for #2, I quickly learned to embrace the Boston Red Sox, as they were my best hope for avoiding the constant and intolerable Yankee bravado that surrounded me. I quickly learned that embracing the Sox, of course, meant embracing Manny.

Since 2001, I have followed Manny as closely as I've followed any baseball player, including any Brave. I've followed his highs and lows. I relished every one of his clutch hits in '04, '07, and his ridiculous closing stretch with the Dodgers last year. I relished every one of his hilarious goofs in left field. I relished his slow jog around the bases after a homerun and his dangerously slow jog after each single. Most of all, I relished the fact that this was a guy that carried himself like a big kid that truly enjoyed playing a kid's game for a living. I mean, put all the off field drama to the side, have you ever seen anybody enjoy hitting a baseball more than Manny? I haven't.

Through it all, I convinced myself that the greatest thing about Manny was that he appeared to love playing so much that he didn't really care about stats, fame, money, or any of the things that would naturally drive guys to use steroids. So, of course, I convinced myself Manny was clean. Well, suffice it to say, for the 1,789,967th time in my life, I was wrong. You know the crazy thing? I really didn't care when Bonds, Clemens, and A-Rod were exposed. I just shrugged it off as something I already knew but just didn't have the proof. With Manny, though, I was crushed. Why? I guess it's because, despite my ever waning interest in baseball, Manny gave me a reason to care about the game of my childhood. Now? I've never been so happy the NBA playoffs stretch deep into the summer and football cranks up shortly thereafter.

6) Has a player ever improved more in a shorter period of time than Glen "Big Baby" Davis has improved over the past two months? I can't think of a single guy. I mean, this guy couldn't get a shot off two months ago, and now he's hitting game winners on the road in the playoffs!!! Good job by Big Baby, and even better job by Doc in building this guy's confidence by sticking with him. These are the things that happen in great organizations.

5) The NBA must get its officiating under control. I could go on for pages pointing out the dubious and inexcusable calls we've seen in less than two rounds of this post season, but all you need to do to get the point is watch the non-call at the end of Saturday's Nuggets/Mavs game. The refs called 61 fouls during the course of the game, but they don't call the most obvious foul of the game? Were these guys running AIG?

4) Once again, can we end the Kobe or Lebron debate once and for all? Lebron is completely un-guardable, he makes his teammates better, and his teammates love him. Kobe, if not properly motivated, can be guarded (see today's 15 point performance), he rarely makes his teammates better these days, and I'll let you draw your own conclusions on whether his teammates like him. And, for all those of you that love to argue how clutch Kobe is, let me remind you that he was dreadful in the '04 Finals against the Pistons, he quit on his team in Game 5 against the Suns in '06, he was dreadful in last year's Finals, and he just threw up 15 points against a team that was playing without their best player, who happens to be a 7'6" monster that stands under the rim. In other words, Spike can make as many joints as he wants about Kobe, but his time to carry the torch as the best player in the League has come and gone, and he never fully grasped it. Lebron, on the other hand, is in the process of putting a death grip on it.

3) What is wrong with Tiger? I mean, he has played in five stroke play events since returning from major knee surgery and only has 1 win and five top 10's. This guy is done! (I really hope the sarcasm is dripping off the page).

2) Is it possible for the Rockets to advance to the Western Conference finals with Chris Rock playing point guard and Anthony Mason cutting Ron Artest's hair?

1) Most importantly of all, is Jack really going to kill Tony this week on "24"? Will he look him in the eye when he does it? If so, this will be the most cold blooded and emotional killing in cinematic history, with the possible exception of Tony suffocating Chris on "The Sopranos". For God's sake, Michael didn't even pull the trigger that killed Fredo. This could be epic television. Don't miss it.

Before signing off, here's a quick update on the WAD's attempt to make use of modern technology:

1) You can join our group on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?sid=3432e724a4f4aa1dad130413dfe84ed5&gid=61570972245&ref=search

2) Yes, I've finally given in, and you can follow the WAD on Twitter at http://twitter.com/AtlantaWAD Don't worry, you won't read anything like "going to the fridge to grab a beer" or "driving to work". I will just be using this to share random thoughts about games as they happen, as well as to let you know when new posts are up in this space. This shoudl be fun, right?

Playoff Musings

2009-05-03T18:09:00.002-04:00

I've received several emails over the past week asking why I have yet to weigh in on the NBA Playoffs. The answer is pretty simple: I've been far too busy watching and enjoying every minute of the first round to take time to write. I know that borders on lame, but let's not kid each other, I'm lame. That being said, this afternoon, I had the opportunity to witness a special piece of history. I joined about 20,000 of my closest friends and watched the Hawks win the first Game 7 in franchise history. So, as you can imagine, I'm pretty excited at the moment. I, however, am going to attempt to temper my excitement long enough to put together some coherent thoughts about Round 1.

In reflecting on Round 1, the natural place to start is with the Bulls and Celtics. As you know, many experts are referring to this as the greatest 7 game series of all time. I don't know if we should go that far, but with 7 OT periods, countless huge shots and clutch plays, more than a handful of controversial ("controversial" is a generous term) calls, and no less than a dozen questionable ("questionable" is beyond generous) coaching decisions, there is no doubt this is a series we won't soon forget. And, when it was all said and done, we learned a few things, including:

1) Derrick Rose is a truly remarkable point guard. But, more importantly, he's not even close to reaching his potential. He definitely has room for improvement. After all, we did see him get a little too careless with the ball in key situations, we saw him defer too often to his teammates in key situations, and we saw him resurrect Ghosts of Memphis past with some shaky clutch free throw shooting in Game 6. But, on the other hand, I'm not sure we've ever seen a point guard not named Isiah or Chris Paul that can get to the rim and finish in traffic like this kid. When you stop and consider that this guy can't even buy a beer yet, all you can do is shake your head and wonder. Assuming he continues to work and improve, I honestly have no idea how good this kid can be. All I do know is that I loved watching him play as a high schooler at the Peach Jam in Augusta; I loved watching him in college at Memphis; I loved watching him this year with the Bulls; and I am beyond excited at the thought of watching him for the next decade. There is a real chance Derrick Rose will become my favorite point guard of all time. Is that a bold statement? Yes. Do I have any reservations about making it? Absolutely not.

2) Dictionary.com defines a black hole as "a theoretical massive object, formed at the beginning of the universe or by the gravitational collapse of a star exploding as a supernova, whose gravitational field is so intense that no electromagnetic radiation can escape." I define it as "Ben Gordon". I know he hit some ridiculous shots and came up big in huge moments, but good grief, this guy is either unwilling or incapable of passing the basketball. It's not a problem as long as he's on fire, but if he's off and you have Derrick Rose on the floor, you have to bench this guy. And, don't get me started on his defense. Even in these economic times, some team will manage to pull together enough cash to wildly over pay Gordon this off season. I just pray its not the Bulls. Having a guy like this on the floor will only hinder Rose's growth, and at the end of the day, a guy like Gordon can win you games, but a guy like Rose can win you championships. I'll just leave it at that.

3) Say what you will about his x's and o's, and I could say a lot, no coach in the NBA gets more effort out of his players than Doc Rivers. When you see sure thing Hall of Famers like Pierce and Jesus selling out on every play the way these guys do, you absolutely have to give at least some of the credit to the guy leading the huddle. Doc Rivers is a leader of men, and it's time to start mentioning his name in the same conversations with Phil Jackson and Greg Popovich.

4) About a year ago, I wrote a column explaining why both Paul Pierce and Ray Allen are first ballot hall of famers. If you didn't agree with me at the time, and if you still don't agree with me, watch Games 5, 6, and 7 again and then give me a call.

5) Brad Miller doesn't shoot free throws very well when he's missing a few teeth and has a mouth full of blood.

6) Rajon Rondo has asserted himself as an undisputed star in this league. If you happen to be a University of Kentucky fan, you should feel free to immediately light yourself on fire.

Again, I don't know if this was the greatest 7 game series of all time. I simply haven't taken the time to do the research. But, I do know it was a pleasure to watch every minute of this series. Both these teams left it all on the floor and gave all of us our money's worth. Congratulations to them both.

I can say with certainty the Hawks and Heat did not play the greatest 7 game series of all time. Considering the average margin of victory for each game was greater than Derrick Rose's age, I don't think I will find anybody that will argue to the contrary. That being said, as a Hawks fan, this was a special series. It's the first playoff series win in a decade for the home team, and as I said above, its the first Game 7 victory in franchise history. More importantly, it's another huge step along the road to redemption for NBA basketball in this great city. The first step was last year's 7 game battle with the eventual champion Celtics, with the climax coming in Game 6 when the home crowd willed the Hawks to victory. Today, the vibe in the arena was much different than it was during that Game 6. Today, the crowd did not will the Hawks to victory. Instead, we cheered, we screamed, we taunted D. Wade, but the victory belongs exclusively to the guys on the hardwood, especially Joe Johnson.

Frankly, had the Hawks not pulled off this series, this season would have been largely viewed as a disappointment and would have likely resulted in a change in the coaching staff. Now, the Hawks have officially built on last season's unexpected success, and they have taken another step towards becoming one of the elite organizations in the Eastern Conference. In other words, ladies and gentlemen, the 2008-2009 Atlanta Hawks' season is a success! And, now, house money in hand, we get to roll the dice in Cleveland and see if we can take another step. Granted, the odds of taking that step are not great, but this year was better than last, and even if we fall to the Cavs, we have something to build on in the offseason. Therefore, no matter what happens in Round 2, we will again roll into the offseason with hope and excitement. When you couple that with the excitement surrounding the Falcons right now; the expectations for Coach Paul Johsnon and the Jackets heading into next season; the excitement surrounding Derrick Favors's looming arrival on the hardwood on the Flats, and the lingering hope that the Braves' starting pitching might keep us in wild card contention, it's a very fun time to be an Atlanta sports fan.

I know I'm in the minority on this, but I don't think the Spurs' first round exit signals the end of their pseudo dynasty. If Manu comes back healthy next year, and if they are able to judicially monitor Duncan's minutes in the regular season, I think they can re-position themselves to make one more run in the West. You simply cannot ignore the fact that Tony Parker has morphed into a dominating player. They need to go into the offseason and make one or two savvy personnel moves (i.e. not Drew Gooden!!!) to strengthen their outside shooting and toughness off the bench. If they can couple those moves with improved health, there is no reason Tim Duncan can't have his Billy Chapel "one last moment in the sun" moment.

The Lakers have a serious problem. Specifically, they have worse point guard play than any remaining team in the NBA playoffs. Don't believe me? Well, chew on these numbers: Their two point guards, Derek Fisher and Shannon Brown (Can you believe that Jordan Farmar quit the team? What? He's still on the roster?) combined for a whopping 16. 6 points and 4.8 assists/game in Round 1. Now, take a look at the remaining contenders:

Denver - Billups and Carter are averaging a combined 23.2 points and 10.4 assists/game;

Houston - Brooks and Lowry are combining for 21 and 6 a game;

Dallas - Kidd and Barea are combining for 20 points and 10.2 a game;

Orlando - Alston and Johnson are combing for 20 and 7 a game;

Atlanta - Bibby and Murray are combing for 27.3 and 7 a game;

Cleveland - Williams and Gibson are combing for 19.1 and 6 a game; and

Boston - Rondo and Steph are combining for 22.5 and 13.2 a game.

The point? I just don't believe, in this day and age, with the generous perimeter officiating, you can win an NBA championship when you are so clearly inferior at the point guard position. The interesting thing about all this is that the Cavs are actually the best point guard match up for the Lakers, and the Hawks are the worst match up. I, however, hear the Cavs have a guy that might be able to make up for their point guard deficiencies. The Lakers? Not so much. Yeah, I said it!!!

Television Tuesday

2009-04-21T22:36:00.002-04:00

Not to worry, I'm not breaking down tonight's "American Idol". Although, for the record, I did nail 6 of the top 7. My only screw up was over estimating Scott and under estimating Anoop. Yes, I understand that gloating about your ability to handicap "Idol" is something you should NEVER do, so let's move on and talk about the most exciting hour on network television, "24". And yes, you guessed it. We are going old school with seven questions:

7) Have we ever seen a more riveting comeback than this season of "24"?

In a recent article, the great Bill Simmons compared Jack Bauer's 2009 resurgence to D. Wade's '08-'09 campaign. It's a fair comparison, but I don't think it does Jack's comeback justice. The last season of "24", back in '07, was so abysmal that I honestly don't remember how it ended. I'm not even kidding. I thought about looking it up, but I figured that would undermine my point. And, of course, because of the "writer's strike" (a/k/a "Kiefer's time in the clink"), we didn't even have an '08 season of "24". But now, against all odds, we are approaching the conclusion of the best "24" season to date. The only comeback I think is even worthy of comparison is George Foreman's. Think about it: Foreman bursts on the scene and rises to the pinnacle of his profession (taking out Joe Frazier) and then falls as fast as he rose (the "Rumble in the Jungle" against Ali). Then, after time away to fight his personal demons, he reappears and regains the crown! Sure, Jack and "24" were only away for a year and Foreman was gone for two decades. And sure, Foreman was a fat middle aged man with five sons named George and a sweet home grill when he came back and "24" is a TV show, but you get the point, right?

(Note: I considered comparing "24's" comeback to MJ's '96 season, but I decided against it for two reasons: 1) MJ never fell on hard times before taking a "break" (you know why break is in quotes); and 2) Jack Bauer is amazing, but I couldn't bring myself to compare a fictional character to MJ. Not even Jack. There are some lines you just don't cross.)

6) How is the President going to react when she sees that tape of her daughter and the reporter?

In the grand scheme of things, this is not important. But, I know I'm not the only one that hasn't forgotten about the tape. This should be an amusing subplot in a week or two.

5) Are we ever going to see the First Gentleman again?

Honestly, I don't care, but I find it odd that we haven't heard a word about his condition in the past 12 hours. Plus, as my buddy, Timmy, pointed out weeks ago, there is no more amusing term than "First Gentleman." I just wanted an excuse to bust it out again.

4) How have I gone this long and not realized that Carlos Bernard is a terrible actor?

Tony Almeida has always been one of my favorite television characters. I was devastated when he died. I was elated when he rose from the dead. I was devastated when I thought he was a terrorist at the beginning of this season. I was elated when I thought he was a good guy this season (although, as I pointed out a few weeks ago, I never fully trusted him this season), and I was again devastated when we realized last week that he is, in fact, a terrorist. But, I was beyond devastated this week when he stood over Jack and delivered the "You just couldn't leave it alone, Jack" line. Not since The Beek busted out "I don't waaant yooour life" in "Varsity Blues" have I been more horrified by the delivery of one line. In that one moment, I realized that I have spent the past 8 years overlooking the fact that Carlos Bernard is a bad actor. I'm still shaken by this. On the bright side, after he dies in a few hours, I am demanding that he guest stars on at least three episodes of "CSI: Miami" so we can witness dueling monologues between him and David Caruso. Don't even pretend like you wouldn't watch this.

3) How did the Lakers just score 41 points in the first quarter of Game 2?

Okay, this has nothing to do with "24", but I had to ask. Has a team ever self destructed faster, for no apparent reason, than the Jazz over the past month? I'm saying no. Sorry, back to the task at hand....

2) Who will save Jack's life?

The obvious choice here is Kim Bauer. That completely ignores the fact, however, that Kim Bauer has never served any real purpose in her life. Maybe this is her chance to redeem herself, but I'm not betting on it. I'm going with an alternate theory: Jack captures Tony and is ready to lock him away for the rest of his life. Tony, however, possesses the antidote to the bio agent (he knew all along he was going to end up with a canister, so he has the antidote as a precaution). Tony tells Jack that he has the antidote, but the only way he will give it to him is if Jack agrees to kill him instead of put him away for life. Tony also gives us a Carusoesque speech about all the times he and Jack have shared, all he has given to his country and his friend, and he explains to Jack why he has done the things he has done. Ultimately, he begs Jack to let him die instead of spend the rest of his life in jail. Jack agrees. Tony gives Jack the antidote and Jack leaves Tony with a gun and tells him to do what he has to do. They share one last long and slightly unnerving stare, and then Jack walks away.

1) Where does Tony's betrayal rank in the history of betrayals?

It's almost impossible to quantify the extent of Tony's betrayal. Not only has he been actively engaging in a terrorist plot, but he has done so by completely playing Jack, Chloe, and Bill Buchanan. Forget the fact that he killed Larry Moss, who was a tool until two episodes ago, this guy betrayed the only people in the world that ever cared for him. And for what? Well, that remains to be seen, but whatever it is can't justify betraying his three most loyal friends. I mean, Bill is dead, Jack is dying, and Chloe almost went to federal prison for the rest of her life. On a betrayal scale of 1-10, Tony Almeida's season 7 ranks as a 117. That being said, how does it rank on the all time betrayal scale? Well, let's take a look in descending order:

Phil Jackson betraying Kobe with his tell all book. This would be higher if Kobe wasn't such a tool.

Shaq betraying Kobe by forcing a trade (don't kid yourself, Shaq forced that trade) and then publicly asking Kobe how his ass tastes. Again, this would be higher if Kobe wasn't such a tool.

Kobe trying to drag Shaq under the bus with him during his "issue" in Colorado. This would be lower if Kobe wasn't such a tool.

McSteamy sleeping with McDreamy's wife. This might be higher if it didn't make me look like such a tool.

Damon killing Nicholson in the "The Departed".

Ed Norton killing Donald Sutherland in "The Italian Job".

Elton Brand convincing Baron Davis to sign with the Clippers and then signing with the Sixers and ignoring Davis's phone calls for weeks. Seriously, how does he sleep at night?

Hartnett sleeping with Affleck's girlfriend in "Pearl Harbor". In Hartnett's defense, he thought Affleck was dead, but still.

Kobe quitting on his teammates in Game 5 of the First Round against Phoenix back in '06.

Everything that happened at the end of "Reservoir Dogs".

Mike Vick's "friends" selling him out for reduced sentences after he had taken care of them for years.

Joe Torre's book.

Brutus killing Ceasar.

Tony Almeida's season 7.

Judas handing over Jesus.

There it is, the definitive list of betrayals. Just to summarize, Tony Almeida, Judas, and Kobe Bryant. That's about all you need to know.

Television Talk East Dillon Style

2009-04-16T20:54:00.003-04:00

Three things you need to know: 1) I watch a fair amount of television; 2) My buddy, Vines, watches even more television than me; and 3) I think "Friday Night Lights" ("FNL") is the best show on network television. Yes, even better than "24". That being said, since I finished watching Season 3 of FNL several months ago on DirecTV and most of the world only finished the season last Friday on NBC, out of respect for all the non DirecTV subscribers, I've been waiting to write about Season 3 for what seems like an eternity. In other words, I've known this column was coming for a while, but what I didn't know was that Vines would tee it up beautifully with an email this week. Suffice it to say, his very succint and insightful breakdown of the season led to my rambling and less than coherent response. Since most of my writing in this space is rambling and less than coherent, I figure there is no better way to share my thoughts on FNL than to simply cut and paste my epic email to Vines (with some "minor" edits and redactions). I, however, have not inserted Vines's email or response to mine, but if you are curious to see his thoughts, including his brilliant Season 4 plot line for J.D. McCoy, I'm sure we can coax him into sharing. Alright, enough of the intro, let's talk FNL:

This Coach Taylor situation is the most absurd thing I've seen on TV since Whitley married Dwayne on "A Different World". How do they fire him with that resume? How did he not condition his return from a D-1 position on a lifetime contract, or at least a multi-year deal? How in the world can he possibly agree to coach East Dillon? I mean, the Mean Machine had better facilities for God's sake. If this were real life, Coach Taylor would have two dozen job offers within 24 hours of being fired. And, if this were real life, the fact that his wife is inexplicably the principal (volunteer guidance counselor to principal? Really?) of the school that just crapped on his head wouldn't keep him from taking one of those jobs. I was furious when they screwed around with the whole "he leaves and comes back" storyline last year because it seemed so absurd, but this is much worse. It's beyond absurd. I'm getting angrier as I type, so let's move on.

In true WAD fashion, here are my 7 bold predictions for next year:

1) The show will be set in 4 locales: Dillon, Nashville (Lyla at school), Austin (Tyra at school), and San Antonio St. with Riggins.

2) Riggins will be jealous because Lyla is constantly talking about and hanging around other dudes; he will miss home; he will try to go home; and Billy and/or Coach will talk him into going back. We may even get a Jason Street cameo to seal the deal. Lyla will be infatuated with some "cultured" guys at Vandy (it is, after all, the Harvard of the greater Nashville area); she will still love Riggins, but they will eventually grow apart, etc... Ultimately, they will break up and Lyla will move to Europe for a summer and that is how she will be written off the show. Or, she may just start dating the Yankees' shortstop. I'm not certain about this just yet. All of this, of course, will happily lead to Riggins unleashed in San Antonio. I'm really looking forward to this. I can promise you I will say "I wish this show was on HBO" no less than 4 times an episode during this phase of Riggins's life.

3) Coach Taylor takes the job at East Dillon. He harbors latent resentment toward Mrs. Coach because he would have taken one of those other 24 offers if her inexplicable position as Dillon High principal didn't mean so much to her. This will lead to tense moments where Coach will passive aggressively call into question Mrs. Coach's commitment to Gracie Bell, etc... This, of course, will lead to her telling him to get over being fired, stop obsessing over football, stop being so selfish, love your family, blah, blah, blah. Ultimately, as the season moves on, he will see improvement in his new team; he will connect with a few of the kids; he will remember why he got into coaching; blah, blah, blah. As all this happens, things will get better between him and the Mrs. At the same time, however, Wade Aikman and JD McCoy will be putting up 50 pts/game over at Dillon and the local radio guys will have voice overs to the effect of "Thank God Coach Taylor isn't here anymore. Two title games and one title in 3 years just doesn't cut it in Dillon." These will be bad times.

4) East Dillon will play Dillon High for the first time in decades after Dillon has one of those nationally televised interstate games against a private Catholic school in New Orleans cancelled because of a hurricane in Louisiana. Aikman will challenge Taylor's manhood at Applebee's, and despite the fact that it could never happen in the real world due to about 1,789 regulations and government requirements, they will throw the game together in a day. The Lions, with their inferior talent and rag tag uniforms (we may see a single bar facemask), will play the game of their lives, but Dillon will beat East Dillon by two touchdowns after taking a pick back to the house while East Dillon is driving for the tying touchdown late in the game. When the game is over, however, Taylor's eyes will meet Buddy Garrity's and there will be a look of recognition from Buddy that says, "We don't ever want to play them again. Taylor is going to build a giant at East Dillon."

5) As for Matt and Julie, things will go well at the beginning. Matt will work part time for a local graphic designer while attending classes at the local community college. He will also have some late night film sessions and solid bonding moments with the Coach. Then, towards the end of the season, Grandma Saracen will die. This will be very sad, and it will inexplicably (because, other than Landry, Saracen really has no friends) bring everybody back to Dillon for her funeral (we might even get a little drama if Lyla brings Derek Jeter to the funeral!). This episode will culminate with Riggins and Saracen sitting by a camp fire drinking their faces off with Riggins essentially convincing Saracen he is bigger and better than Dillon and its not fair to himself or Julie if he stays behind because of her. The episode closes with Saracen saying, "no regrets" and Riggins saying, "Texas forever". The next week, Saracen leaves Julie and enrolls in Art School in Chicago and departs from the show. We will miss him.

6) As for Landry and Tyra, you can expect the typical stuff....kind of. We expect her to go to Austin and party herself into bolivion (trademark Mike Tyson), but instead, she really takes to school and the culture, etc... She finds herself as a person and really likes who she's become. She is also more into Landry than ever, and they see each other every other weekend. Ultimately, however, Landry starts to push her away because he becomes an all-conference receiver and starts to rake in the ladies. Okay, absolutely none of this is going to happen, but I really wish it would. I think it would be terribly amusing to see Landry juggling Rally Girls.

7) Finally, we have the big finish to the season. JD McCoy will have the greatest sophomore season in Texas high school history. He will break every record and Dillon will win State. Through it all, however, the pressure from his Father will become unbearable. He will lose his passion for football and long to be a kid. This will ultimately lead to Joe McCoy again beating the crap out of JD. This time, however, JD and Mama McCoy are having none of it. They can't believe what Dillon High football has done to Joe, and they don't want to see it rob JD of his youth. The season will close with JD and Mama McCoy showing up at the Taylor's doorstep, hats in hand, and asking Coach Taylor to let JD play quarterback for East Dillon next year. And, BAM!!!! Coach Taylor is back in the game and competing for a state title in 2010!

Okay, odds are that none of this actually happens. But, be honest, if I promised you this season you would watch! Right?

An Experience Unlike Any Other

2009-04-12T20:33:00.004-04:00

I assume it is pretty clear by now that I am more than just a casual sports fan. Truth be told, in my 31 years, I have derived an inordinate amount of pleasure, excitement, and relaxation from playing and/or participating in sports. In fact, when compared to the percentage of those emotions derived from non-sports related activities, the numbers are staggering, and yes, potentially sad. That being said, without question or dispute, my favorite annual sporting event is the Masters. For over seven decades, during the first full week of April, the golf world has descended on Augusta, Georgia. Consequently, hundreds of millions of eyes from around the world have focused their attention on Augusta, and for as long as I can remember, my eyes have been among them. Unfortunately, however, with the exception of one practice round visit back in '05, my eyes have always watched from the couch. Well, due to the generosity of my good friend, MJ, that unexpectedly changed on Saturday. When MJ sent a text late Friday evening offering up two badges for Saturday's round, it took all of 7 seconds for me and DB to respond, "where and when do we meet you?"

That being said, for this article, I toyed with idea of explaining why the Masters is so special to me. You know, I thought about taking you on a trip down memory lane with Jack in '86, Larry Mize in '87, Norman and Faldo in '96, Tiger in '97, Phil in '04, Tiger from behind the 16th green in '05, etc... Ultimately, however, I decided that you know the history, and if you don't, you probably don't care. Also, I toyed with the idea of attempting to describe how, in person, The National's beauty exceeds even your wildest expectations. Then, as I attempted to do this, I realized that there is a reason The National is more beautiful in person than you can imagine: words and television images simply cannot describe what the human eye can process. To attempt to do so would be foolhardy. So, what's left for me to talk about? The answer is simple, Tiger Woods. For those of you that know me well, this answer lacks originality, but hopefully this take does not.

Saturday was the fourth time I've seen Tiger Woods in person. The first was with DB and our buddy, BH, at a Wednesday practice round at St. Andrew's in 2000. The second was a brief one hole walk with my buddy, BP, at Doral in the second round in '05. And, the third was a brief stint at the aforementioned Master's practice round, with BP, in '05. Each of those three experiences were fun, but they don't even belong in the same conversation with Saturday's experience.

On Saturday, DB and I picked up Tiger on the 6th green, just after he hit the stick with his tee shot, and we followed him through Amen Corner, and we picked him up again on the 15th green. During this span, we witnessed Tiger drop a bomb for birdie on #9 and about a 12 footer for birdie on #12. We also witnessed Tiger miss some very makeable putts along the way. The putts and the shots, however, are not what I will remember. Instead, I will remember the electricity in the air that envelopes everything above, around, and near Tiger when he is on the course on Saturday at the most special of all golf championships. As you would expect, his gallery was close to ten deep, but it's not the size of the gallery that is remarkable, it's the collective emotions. When Tiger steps over the ball, you can FEEL the collective excitement and tension of tens of thousands of people at one time. You can feel everyone collectively hoping that they are seconds away from witnessing something they've never seen before. But, at the same time, you can feel everyone collectively hoping Tiger doesn't hit a poor shot or miss a putt. In other words, you can feel that every single person in that gallery, in their own unique way, for whatever reason, feels personally invested in Tiger's play. I honestly can't explain this sensation.

For the first several holes we followed Tiger, I felt a little bit like an outsider standing back and watching this phenomenon from a distance. I was aware of everything, but I didn't really feel like I was a part of it. Then, DB and I found a great spot on the back right side of the 15th green, and we had a clear view of all the happenings there and the entire 16th hole.

The 16th hole, of course, is one of the great cathedrals in all of sports, not just golf. Tiger promptly made birdie on 15 and made his way to the 16th tee. As he stood on the 16th tee surveying his shot on this legendary par 3, I was literally struck numb. I know it sounds crazy, but from time to time, you have such a startling revelation that renders you physically numb. Well, as I stood there watching the greatest golfer of all time preparing to hit his tee shot on the hole I've seen countless times on television in the past 3 decades, in a setting that defies words, I suddenly realized: TIGER FREAKING WOODS IS ABOUT TO TEE OFF ON 16 AT AUGUSTA, AND I'M STANDING RIGHT HERE WATCHING IT!!!! This was Bird in the Boston Garden, Mays in the Polo Grounds, Favre at Lambeau, Ali vs. Frazier in the Garden, Connors in Queens, Mantle and DiMaggio at Yankee Stadium, Jordan in the old Chicago Stadium, etc... (I'm sure I'm leaving some obvious ones out, but you get the point). In other words, this was the greatest performing on the greatest stage.

Well, needless to say, without even realizing it, I was a part of everything I had witnessed over the first several holes with Tiger. I was invested. In that moment, more than anything I've ever wanted, I wanted Tiger to hole out. At the same time, just as badly, I didn't want Tiger to hit a wayward shot and find the bunkers or the water. It was truly exhilarating. In the end, Tiger hit a pedestrian shot to the middle of the green and went on to make a par. Well, it wasn't the ace I'd hoped for, but it wasn't a wayward shot either. What I now realize, however, is it didn't need to be either. The scene, the moment, the numbness, the anticipation, the excitement, and the anxiety all added up to a moment I will remember for the rest of my life. In an era where we attempt to define sports greatness strictly by numbers and statistics (a trap I admittedly fall into), I can assure you that you can't even begin to define Tiger Woods's or Augusta National's greatness with statistics. They both transcend empirical proof.

In the same vein, as DB and I drove the 2+ hours back to Atlanta, I asked him how the Masters ranked among the greatest sporting events he's ever seen. Without boring you with all the details of the conversation, I will tell you that DB, with his usual even-handedness and wisdom, put things in perspective for me. We shouldn't waste our time comparing one sporting experience to another and trying to rank them in some order of greatness. To do so tends to cheapen each of your sporting experiences just a bit, and that's not fair to the experience or you. That being said, I'm not going to attempt to quantify how special Saturday was for me. Instead, I will simply tell you that it was among the best sporting experiences of my life, and I sincerely hope that all of you that love sports are able to experience a weekend at Augusta. I assure you that you won't forget it.

Finally, before signing off, I would be remiss if I didn't comment on Sunday's final round. For those of us that love the Masters, we will long remember today. We will remember Phil's record setting front nine and his subsequent toe to toe battle with Tiger through 16. We will remember Phil and Tiger running out of gas on 17 and 18. We will remember Kenny Perry's birdie on #12, and his subsequent bogeys on 17 and 18. Because of Perry's bogeys on 17 and 18, however, I fear we won't remember Angel Cabrera's fantastic performance in capturing the Green Jacket. There is no doubt that Kenny Perry gave him some help along the way, but Cabrera's par on the first playoff hole was nothing short of spectacular. And, his approach on the second playoff hole was as clutch a shot as we saw all week. The bottom line is that Angel Cabrera won the Masters, and Kenny Perry did not lose it. I fear this opinion will place me in the minority in the short term, but I am hopeful that will change over time.

So, the NCAA Tournament and the Masters are in the books. Next stop, NBA Playoffs. As Verne said on #17 back '86, YES SIIIIR!!!!!

One Shining Moment, Sort of!

2009-04-06T23:44:00.003-04:00

I’m coming to you live from the WAD Palace on one of the greatest nights of the year. Among college basketball players and coaches, it is simply known as Monday Night. I will refrain from waxing poetic, as I am sure Jim Nantz will adequately cover that department. Suffice it to say I’m excited; you’re excited; Tyler Hansbrough is psychotic; and we’re all ready to crown a new NCAA basketball champion. I’m joined here in the Palace by my buddy, CP, and he’s stuffing his face with a salad from Whole Foods. Not to worry, he does like sports. In order to commemorate the occasion, I will, of course, show a complete lack of originality and, as I’ve been known to do, borrow from the great Bill Simmons and give you a running real time commentary of tonight’s action. Here we go….

9:09 – Tracy Wolfson is up close and personal with Roy Williams. Four notable things here: 1) Tracy is a very attractive woman; 2) Roy is doing his best to look her in the eyes (failing miserably); 3) Roy just tried to convince America that he is actually concerned about MSU’s Greg Ostertag look alike (Suton); and 4) Roy apparently does give a sh*t about UNC tonight!

9:12 – We get a look-in on Tom Izzo’s pre-game speech. CP just summed the speech up perfectly, "Well, I guess he really is a great x and o guy, because he sure isn’t inspiring."

9:18 - Jim Nantz is doing his best Michael Buffer impersonation, and this place is going insane. Granted, 87% of the people in attendance can’t see a damn thing, but this atmosphere is tremendous.

9:19 - God Bless CBS’s camera and sound guys that just gave us a close up of Raymar Morgan dropping the night’s first two F bombs. And, for the record, thank you, Raymar. In case we couldn’t read his lips, Raymar made sure it was loud and clear.

9:20 - Is Wayne Brady really starting at PG for MSU? CP was so excited about this we had to rewind just to see it again. I was on the fence until now, but between Raymar and Wayne Brady (Kalin Lucas), I’m squarely in the Spartan camp.

9:25 – In case you weren’t sure, it’s been 30 years since Bird and Magic squared off for the Title. To prove it, we just saw the Legend and Magic receive the game ball fully equipped with one of Larry’s classic, "I’m going to smile because I’m supposed to, but I really don’t like Magic" looks.

9:26 - We have to do re-do the jump ball. Awesome start. This is going to be an instant classic! Can you feel it.

9:27 - Suton for Three with Psycho T in his face! I love the fact that he just put that in T’s face, but I’m not loving the fact that we are going to hear David Stearn say the following words this summer: With the 22nd pick in the 2009 NBA draft, the Atlanta Hawks select the Big Goofy White Dude from Michigan State.

9:29 - Raymar just checked back in the game. Does MSU have a rule that if you drop multiple F bombs during introductions you have to be yanked in and out of the game in the first 2:17 of the game? Or, has Paul Hewitt inhabited Tom Izzo’s body?

9:33 – T just hit a fall away to push UNC to a 10 point lead going into the first T.V. timeout. More notable than that was Clarke Kellogg’s deft analysis that "Right now, Carolina is making threes and making twos." I guess that explains that why they have 17. Thanks, Clarke. On the bright side, Clarke may too often state the obvious, but at least he doesn’t sound like he is one bad shot away from going on the court and physically assaulting a player. We miss you, Billy. Okay, that’s not true in the least. (Side note on Clarke: CP just remembered the first time he saw Clarke doing a game, and he thought to himself, "That guy won’t ever do another game." That was 15 years ago. You have to love the networks. Seriously, do they let the NFL owners make their announcer assignments? Let’s hope so. What could be better than Wade Philips and Dick Jaron calling next year’s Final Four?)

9:38 – Ty Lawson is so much quicker than everybody on the floor right now. And, right on cue, Roy Williams takes him out of the game. I guess he’s a little embarrassed that the ‘Heels are up 14 less than 7 minutes into the game. Or, maybe he’s trying to preserve Lawson’s toe for the next game. What? There are no more games? I guess Roy is still reeling from his pre-game interview with Tracy.

9:41 - We just learned that MSU’s Chris Allen a computer engineering major. His team is well on its way to being run out of the building, but he’s got a real major. That’s something, right?

9:44 – Ty Lawson is back in the game for six seconds and has a steal and is fouled going to the basket the other way. Shocking that good things happen with Ty on the floor.

9:45 - We are at the second T.V. timeout, and CP and I just had the following exchange:

Me: This is going to be a blowout.

CP: Oh yeah.

I’m already excited about hearing Clarke and Nantz filling the air time in the second half. Over/Under on Nantz’s Master’s references: 13.

9:47 – Wayne Brady was just called for a carry. Oh, boy. Isn’t that a little unfair?

9:49 – We are less than 10 minutes in and UNC is already up 20. I'll be honest, if CP wasn't here, I'd probably watch "24" on DVR.

9:52 - We have just less thank 10 minutes left in the first half and UNC is already in the bonus. The Psycho One is going to shoot 8 free throws before the half. He can barely contain his excitement.

9:53 – CP just pointed out that if we extrapolate this score out, we are looking at about 120 – 40. Yes, CP went to Tech. And yes, he may be correct.

10:00 – Clarke just caught an errant pass and assured us that he wasn’t going to go on the court and hoist a shot. At this point, I’m not sure Izzo would be opposed to that.

10:01 – Raymar just got crushed in the nose by Danny Green. Unfortunately, we couldn’t hear his reaction.

10:04 – CP and I just discussed the merits of Applebee’s featuring nothing but overweight people in their commercials. And yes, this might have been the most entertaining 2 minutes of the night to this point. CP thinks they are wisely playing to their demographic. Me, on the other hand, as a fat person, feel exploited. Shame on you, Applebee’s!

10:08 – Lawson to T for a deuce. Stated differently, a man with an amazing NBA career ahead of him to a man whose athletic life is peaking tonight. For the record, that’s not a bad peak. Isn’t it odd that Tebow and T are going to win titles in the same year? I mean, they are both arguably two of the best college players of all time in their respective sports, but neither of them have a chance in hell at excelling at the next level. Trust me, I’m not trying to diminish their accomplishments, I think those speak for themselves. I’m simply pointing out how coincidental it is that they would both reach the mountaintop in the same year.

10:12 - CP and I were both just taken with this nugget from Clarke, "If MSU could somehow go on a mini run and cut this to 10, 12, or 14 before the half, that could bode well for them in the second half." Stated differently, Clarke thinks it would be a good thing for MSU to have less points to make up in the second half! Seriously, I’m no longer asking politely, I’m demanding Gus Johnson and Bill Rafferty at next year’s Final Four. I mean, you have the best play by play guy on the planet and the best color guy on the planet on the payroll and you refuse to put them together! In the words of Nancy Kerrigan, WHY? WHY, CBS? WHY?

10:14 – CP: Blog this….(followed by...well...you can figure it out). The Palace now smells weird. I'm kicking CP out at halftime.

10:18 – Wayne Brady just banked in a prayer. All is not lost for the Spartans, I guess.

10:21 - Halftime. UNC threw up the most points in a first half in Championship Game history (55). UNC has the largest halftime lead in Championship Game history (21). And, the WAD Palace smells even weirder. I’m definitely kicking CP out.

10:29 – Okay, CP is gone, and we were just treated to Greg Anthony’s suit, and we are anxiously awaiting a halftime visit from Magic. In the meantime, let’s talk a little bit about why this game is such a mismatch. Are you ready? 1) Ty Lawson plays for UNC; 2) UNC is playing defense with an intensity I haven’t seen from a college squad in many years, possibly since Nolan’s Hogs gave us 40 minutes of hell. I know that sounds like in the heat of the moment hyperbole, but I really don’t think it is. I mean, NOTHING is coming easy for MSU. UNC has looked great at times this year, but they’ve never looked this great. Well, except for maybe the first time they beat MSU down this year; and 3) Did I mention Ty Lawson plays for UNC.

10:43 – We are underway with the second half. MSU promptly turns the ball over. I’ve got a sneaky feeling there will be less entries in the second half of this running commentary.

10:49 - 16 minutes left, down 21, and MSU just a attempted a 30 foot alley-oop in transition. I’ll let you guess how that turned out.

10:50 - If one exchange can sum up a game, we just saw it. MSU cuts the lead to 18 (first time it’s been under 20 in as long as I can remember), UNC comes down and misses a shot, and as MSU starts the other way in transition, Lawson grabs his record setting eighth steal, then feeds Davis in the post for the bucket and 1. So, if you are keeping score at home, that’s a steal, an assist, and MSU’s heart in 7 seconds, all courtesy of your soon to be Oklahoma City Thunder point guard, Ty Lawson (Good grief, I just got so excited about the thought of Lawson playing with Kevin Durant that I totally missed the subsequent five minutes of this game!).

10:56 – Did you know CBS has live streaming video of Amen Corner on cbs.com?

10:57 – Bobby Frasor just got in the scorebook. Sure, it was a foul, but his family has to be excited.

10:58 - Bobby Frasor with a big rebound and a big F You to The WAD.

10:59 - If you had Nantz using "spurtability" before Clarke in the office pool, lunch is on you tomorrow.

11:00 – Speaking of the Masters, what do Phil Mickelson and MSU’s Draymond Green have in common? I’ll give you a hint: Roy Williams would have to really try hard to look them in the eye if they were interviewing him.

11:10 – MSU just cut the lead to 15 for a brief moment, and actually looked a little frisky. UNC, however, promptly bumped it back up to 19. MSU only seems to make any headway when UNC let’s things get sloppy. Even then, it’s remarkable how hard MSU has to work to score. We are at a real breaking point in this game. UNC is either going to get sloppier as the last 7:33 ticks away and this game is going to finish in the 13 – 17 point range, or UNC is going to put the hammer down one more time and win this thing by 30 points. I’m betting on the latter. Any takers?

11:15 - We just got a nice look at Hasheem Thabeet in the crowd. It must be Spring Break at UConn because he didn’t look too concerned about missing class. Then again, it would be pretty tough to see any concern behind those sunglasses he was wearing. It must be pretty sunny inside the dome. It did, after all, snow today in Detroit, and that usually brings blinding indoor sun with it.

11:35 – I’m still here. MSU has stayed frisky enough to keep it in the 13 – 17 range. You should have taken that bet when I gave you the chance.

11:37 – Raymar Morgan just fouled out with 2:36 to play. He only had four points, but he gave us two memories we’ll remember for a long time. Yes, I’m again talking about the F bombs in the introductions. And, yes, I’m that immature.

11:38 - Okay, Bobby Frasor just scored. I’m done.

11:40 – Oh, wait a minute. We just got the mandatory shot of President Obama playing with UNC during the campaign. Now that’s out of the way, we can officially call it a night.

As much as it kills me to say it, congratulations to Carolina. It was another great NCAA Tournament, and at least we can all go to sleep tonight with the knowledge that the best team in America is hoisting the trophy. That, of course, doesn’t always happen, and I, for one, am happy when it does. Now, if you will excuse me, I’m going to bed because I’m old, and that is how I roll.

Just checking in...

2009-03-24T22:49:00.002-04:00

The first weekend of the Tournament went the way of the chalk...work is busy (thankfully)...I promised not to write about the NBA until the Tournament is over...and, I couldn't care less about the WBC. In other words, you shouldn't read anything into my week long absence other than me not having anything to say. A first, I know. That being said, I promise to have a Final Four Preview/Regional Re-wind posted on Monday morning. Until then, enjoy this week's "Really" and LOTW:

Really? - This is probably overdue, but I don't know anybody that has ever had a more ridiculous start to their head coaching career than Josh McDaniels. Josh, you've got one of the best young quarterbacks in the NFL. In fact, he is one of the handful of quarterbacks that actually has the tools to make his team better and not just "manage the game" (I hate nothing more than the media celebrating guys that "manage the game". Essentially, it's the equivalent of having a guy in the office that shows up on time, leaves on time, and only takes an hour for lunch every day but NEVER does anything else. He never works weekends. He never has a new or creative idea. Sure, he never screws anything up, but you could find any random guy off the street to do his job. We all know that guy, and we should all just agree to start calling him the Game Manager!) Anyway, I just lost my train of thought...Oh yeah, Josh, you are an idiot. By week 3, Cutler will pull a John Moxon and hit McDaniels in the head with a lazer. Enjoy that.

Link of the Week - When the NBA just isn't enough, where do you go? That's right boys and girls, it's the Euroleague! Where else could you go to find that Travis Best is averaging 9.6 points/game in Italy? Or, that Josh Childress scored 8 points in his first European playoff game?

Let the Madness Begin!

2009-03-16T00:00:00.002-04:00

Long before there was a WAD, there was the annual email from me to all my buddies laying out my analysis of the NCAA Tournament. This started back in my first year of law school in ’02 and continued until the preview first hit the WAD in ’06. That being said, back in ’02, you had to look far and wide to find a bigger college basketball fan than me (no, I’m not talking about my weight!). I could spit out almost every major contributor on every major team at the drop of a hat. Hell, I even used to schlep up to Arthur Ave. to watch Fordham slug it out in the bottom half of the A-10 (the baked ziti and meatballs on Arthur Ave. may have also had something to do with it). In other words, I LOVED college basketball.

Over the past few years, however, a strange thing gradually happened. Specifically, I’ve become addicted to the NBA, and my following of college hoops has more than suffered as a result. I mean, there are only so many games you can watch, so many teams you can follow, and so many articles you can read. Why has my allegiance shifted to the NBA? Well, I have my theories, but I will save those for another day. This is the time of year where even the casual fan has to place all their focus on the college game, and to spend time talking about the negatives of the game unfairly takes away from the excitement at hand.

So, why did I just spend 100 words telling you that I don’t love college basketball as much as I once did? Simply put, it’s the world’s longest disclaimer. I love writing this column every year, and I hope you enjoy reading it, but if you take any of this advice, you do so at your own peril. In other words, don’t come looking for me to refund your money from your office pool when Gonzaga gets bounced in the first round.

Now that the disclaimer is out of the way, let’s get to it. Just a quick reminder of how this works: I give you a handful of first round upsets, and then I predict/preview from the Sweet 16 on. Got it? Good. Let’s do it.

THE UPSETS:

As an annual reminder, a 10 over a 7 is NOT an upset!

1) #11 Dayton over #6 West Virginia - This jumps out for one reason: Huggy Bear and his Sopranoesque suits has coached 14 previous teams to the Dance. He has only advanced past the second round four times. Sure, he’s only lost in the first round twice, but he’s not scared to go home early. And, for the record, Dayton has won 26 games, and they go 9 deep. That’s impressive, I guess.

2) #13 Miss. St. over #4 Washington – Nate Robinson isn’t walking through that door! Brandon Roy isn’t walking through that door! And, thankfully for MSU, Eric Dampier isn’t walking through that door!

3) #12 Wisconsin over #5 FSU – I’ve been watching Bo Ryan and the Badgers make very talented and athletic teams look very ordinary for many years now. And, coincidently, I have been watching Leonard Hamilton make very talented and athletic teams at Miami and FSU look very ordinary for many years now.

4) #11 VCU over #6 UCLA - As I watched the selection show on CBS, I heard Seth Davis passionately argue that VCU would beat UCLA. He gets paid to do this, so he has to know what he’s talking about, right?

I was considering taking Temple as an 11 seed over Arizona St., and then I realized John Chaney retired back in ’06. I told you I’m off my game when it comes to college hoops!

THE SWEET SIXTEEN

1) Louisville over Wake- Rick Pitino is not losing to a team that lost to G. Tech. End of story.

2) Kansas over USC – I love Taj Gibson, but as a 10 seed, I think the Sweet 16 is as far as he can take the Trojans.

3) Purdue over UConn - For the better part of a decade, I have heard from good friends that know these types of things that Matt Painter was going to be a great head coach. He’s proving them right. Good job by Matt. On the flip side, we’ve known for about two decades that Jim Calhoun is a Hall of Fame coach. Unfortunately for Calhoun, however, his team just really seems to struggle scoring points down the stretch. I, of course, am basing this only on their two losses to Pitt and their epic 6 OT loss to Syracuse. But, given the fact that those were UConn’s three biggest games of the year, I’m declaring that a sufficient sample size. Plus, I just plunked $25 down on Purdue in an auction draft tonight, so I’m a little biased.

4) Memphis over Missouri - No need for a shot clock in this game. I honestly think this is going to be the most entertaining game of the tournament. Despite the fact that he murdered his team in the last two minutes of last year’s title game, I love Coach Cal, and I just can’t pick against him at this point unless he’s going up against Pitino (foreshadowing?). Plus, I plunked $100 down on the Tigers in the draft tonight, so not only am I biased, I’m invested.

5) Tennessee over Xavier - Let’s not talk about how Tennessee is going to win this game, let’s talk about the real story – how they will get here. I know they have underachieved, but I love Tennessee’s intensity and ability. I have ever since Bruce Pearl took over. Not to mention, every commentator I’ve heard talk about Pitt seems petrified that their best player, DeJuan Blair, is going to get in foul trouble. When a guy averages 16 points and 12 boards and all anybody can talk about is his foul trouble, that’s not what we would call confidence inspiring.

6) Nova over Texas – Yes, I think Texas beats Duke to get here. And no, I won’t believe in Duke until they win the National Title. (Disclaimer: I also bought the Longhorns in tonight’s draft). I’ve watched them play more than any other team this year (I even saw them in person), and the most impressed I’ve been is their loss to Carolina last weekend in Chapel Hill. When your most impressive game is a loss, that’s not a great sign. As for this match-up, I like Nova for two reasons: 1) Scottie Reynolds; and 2) Jay Wright. Reynolds is a tough and tested guard, and this tournament is always about guards! As for Wright, from the moment I saw him with my own eyes brilliantly coach Hofstra to the Holiday Classic Title in the Garden in ’99, I knew he was going to be a star. This guy is an elite college basketball coach.

7) Gonzaga over Carolina - Mark Few is not just an elite coach. He’s one of the very best coaches in the game today. He hasn’t had the success we’ve expected in March just yet, but one of these years, he is going to break through. Why not this year? The Zags have three guys shooting 42% or greater from behind the arc, and they shoot 40% as a team from behind the line. Sure, Carolina has more experience and more talent, and Roy Williams is also one of the best coaches alive, but, the three ball is the great equalizer. I know this pick seems ridiculous, but I’ve just got a feeling. Then again, I did eat 20 wings for dinner, so there could be another explanation for this feeling.

8) Oklahoma over Arizona St. - OU has the best player in the country, and that has to count for something, right? Granted, I am the biggest OU apologist in America other than Fite. What can I say? I’ve had very good times in Norman, Oklahoma! For the record, I warned you this wasn’t going to be expert analysis.

ELITE EIGHT

1) Louisville over Kansas - If Rick Pitino was coaching North Dakota State, I would pick North Dakota State to go to the Final Four.

2) Memphis over Purdue - $100 for Memphis doesn’t look so bad if they win this game. If they lose, you better hope you don’t owe me money because I will be calling.

3) Villanova over Tennessee - Did I really pick Tennessee to make the Elite Eight? I’m not even drinking, I promise.

4) Gonzaga over Oklahoma – My bromance with Mark Few encounters my love affair with Norman, OK. I’m not sure I can even watch this game. Will somebody just call me when it’s over?

FINAL FOUR

1) Louisville over Memphis - Pitino v. Calipari. This is the only game I think could rival Memphis v. Mizzou in entertainment value. I’ll make the lasagna and garlic bread. You bring the red wind, and we’ll all have a great time!

2) Nova over Gonzaga - With Wright and Few squaring off, this could be a "Slumdog Millionaire" like masterpiece. For the record, if these four coaches squared off in the Final Four, it would be the greatest collection of coaching talent in the Final Four since Coach K, Lute Olson, Gary Williams, and Tom Izzo locked horns back in ’01.

CHAMPIONSHIP GAME

Louisville over Nova – All kidding aside, I watched Louisville take out that courageous Syracuse team last night. The pressure they applied to start the second half was the most devastating defense I’ve seen since Pitino’s ’96 Kentucky team. Before you go crazy, I’m not suggesting this team is as good as the ’96 Cats, which may be the greatest team of our lifetime. What I am saying is that the Cardinals can explode for a 20-0 run at any given moment. I just don’t think anybody else in this field has that capability.

Well, that’s that. The only thing left to do is watch the madness unfold and watch the taunting emails roll in as my predictions get blown all to Hell on Thursday and Friday. And, in case you were wondering, I promise you won’t have to read any NBA coverage over the next three weeks. From now until the first Monday in April, the WAD is exclusively a college basketball environment.

Weekend Treat

2009-03-14T13:23:00.002-04:00

I can't remember the last time I posted on a weekend. That being said, don't get too excited. I'm just popping in to do a little housekeeping. I mean, with all this college basketball on this weekend, and with all these bubbles bursting, and with Syracuse playing the equivalent of 17 games in four days, my head is about to explode. But, before I can settle in to the couch and put it on cruise control for the remainder of the weekend, I wanted to hand out the weekly awards:

The Really - Thank you Joaquin Phoenix. Your unending ride on the crazy train is providing far more entertainment than all your movies combined.

Link of the Week - One weekend a year, RealTimeRPI.com is worth it's weight in gold.

Television Tuesday

2009-03-10T20:48:00.003-04:00

Back in the day when we first got this little experiment started, one of the most popular columns (and my favorite column to write) was Television Tuesday. About a year ago, I realized something very important about Television Tuesday. It was such a great column and so much fun to write because I was basically recounting the hilarious conversations my roommate, Hans, and I were having as we were watching our favorite shows. Granted, the conversations were slightly edited, but you get the point. At any rate, since I moved into the WAD Palace last March, I've stayed away from Television Tuesday. But, I'm bringing it back for a one night engagement. And, in the process, I'm opening myself up to relentless heckling for my unabashed love of "American Idol". Well, I love it, and since it was the one show Hans refused to watch, I finally have a chance to write about it. And yes, I realize what a horrible mistake this is.

Okay, here is what we are going to do: Tonight is the first night on the big stage with the Final 13. I'm going to watch them all and list them in the order of their performance, give some commentary, and then I'm going to assign The WAD odds to each contestant. There are three things you should know about these odds: 1) These are my odds. If, for informational purposes only, you go to one of those illegal gambling websites, I'm sure you will find real odds that will look nothing like mine; 2) These are odds as of this week, and they will change on a weekly basis throughout the season (foreshadowing, anyone?); and 3) Because I know Stats will point this out, these are not correctly formulated odds. In Vegas, they have exact formulas for calculating odds, and if one guy has one set of odds, it is impossible for another guy to have another set of odds based on the number of possible outcomes, etc... Well, suffice it so say, I'm not that smart, so these are odds you would never see come out of a real sportsbook. If this bothers you, I will happily provide you with a full refund. All that being said, let's get to it:

1) Lil Rounds - They just showed a look at Lil's life with her three children back in Memphis. It's impossible not to like her. And, she kicks things off with "The Way You Make Me Feel." Not one of my favorite Jacko songs, especially now that I know he was singing to Macaulay Culkin. Anyway, Lil was solid. A little boring for my taste tonight, but I still have no doubt in my mind she is the best female singer in the contest. The judges seem to agree. Kara basically just told the world she hopes Lil wins. And, wow! Paula just said Lil sounds like an angel, and Simon apparently just hit on Lil. And, it's worth noting that Paula appears stoned. I know, shocking.

Bottom line: Lil is the 7-1 to win this thing. For those of you that have never placed a legal wager in Las Vegas, that means you have to risk $1 in the hopes of winning $7 on Lil.

2) Scott MacIntyre - Even if you don't watch "Idol", you probably know Scott as the "blind guy". We just learned two additional things in Scott's bio piece: 1) His sister is also blind; and 2) Scott's family sings together. For now on, we will be calling him Scott Partridge. He sings "Keep the Faith". I've never heard this song before. In fact, I'm pretty sure my buddy, Colby, is the only person I know that has ever heard this song. It's fun watching Mr. Partridge behind the piano. It's also kind of fun watching Kara making several references to "seeing" Scott. Way to rub it in, Kara. (By the way, even though I am sightly obsessed with Kara, even I have to admit that she says just as little as Paula. The biggest difference is Kara is hot and not obviously impaired).

Bottom line: Scott has a lot going for him in this contest, not the least of which is that he is extremely talented. And, of course, his story is one of hope in a time where America needs hope, etc... He's 5-1.

3) Danny Gokey - This guy also has a very compelling story. He sang "PYT". I really like this dude. He's kind of like Taylor Hicks except the exact opposite. For the record, Paula just made a reference to being able to tell who is singing with her eyes closed. Can we get off the vision references? It's just uncomfortable at this point.

Bottom line: I can't believe I'm saying this, but I agree with Paula. Danny is the favorite to win this thing. I've got him at 1-2 (bet $2 to win $1).

4) Michael Sarver - America's favorite roughneck takes the stage. I've got to tell you that this is shaping up to be the most likeable group of "Idol" finalist we've ever seen. Mike bangs out "You are Not Alone". I liked it. The judges loved it. Good job by you, Mike. (TM Chris Russo).

Bottom line: I'm going to slip him in at 20-1 after week 1.

5) Jasmine Murray - It's the 17 year old wildcard from Mississippi. Geez, she's got a great family too. Could we get some people on this show that it's easy to root against? It's so much more fun that way. At any rate, Jasmine takes on "I'll Be There". Listen, I'm going to say something that could force me me to hand in my man card: when Mariah Carey records a song, no "Idol" contestant should ever sing it. Do you ever ask yourself why we are no longer impressed by a free-throw line dunk? Well, it's because MJ did it, and we don't want to see anybody else do it. Can we all agree on this? That being said, Jasmine did fine. She'll likely stick around for a few weeks.

Bottom line: Jasmine is 25-1 to win it all.

6) Kris Allen - Did you see his wife? I think we've found somebody I can hate. So, Krissy busts out the guitar for "Do You Remember?". I can tell you right now that this is the kid that is going to tick me off all season. I think he's a bad John Mayer impersonator (and, for the record, the world doesn't need another John Mayer), but the teenage girls will keep this guy around 5 weeks too long.

Bottom line: 20-1 to win it all.

7) Allison Iraheta - This is the 16 year old girl that the judges fell all over in the prelims. I like her, I guess. I'm still not sure if she's singing or screaming. Plus, she just made a joke about cutting herself. Not really sure what that's all about. Again, I'm uncomfortable.

Bottom line: 10-1 to win it all, and I think she's the best "bet" on the board.

8) Anoop Desai- Anoop is the second best karaoke singer I've ever seen behind my buddy, Beyer. And, he seems like he would be a pretty cool dude to grab beers with in Chapel Hill. Other than that, he's going home after tonight.

Bottom line: 100-1. The longest of long shots.

9) Jorge Nunez - Take it from a guy that has experience betting against Felix Trinidad, it is a horrible idea to underestimate the power of the Puerto Rican fan base. I know people that I trust very much that were attendance on September 29, 2001 when Tito battled Bernard Hopkins in Madison Square Garden, and they swear it was the most electric sporting environment they've ever been a part of. And, unfortunately, much like that fight, Jorge's performance tonight was pretty disappointing. You've got to be fair here, though. This guy is singing in front of millions of people in a language he is still learning. I think it's remarkable, and I find myself rooting for this guy. Unfortunately for him, me rooting for you is usually the kiss of death.

Bottom line: 75-1.

10) Megan Corkey - I can't really be objective here because I haven't liked her as a singer from the start. Again, however, just like all these other folks, she seems like a pretty likeable person, and I can't root against her. I, however, wouldn't vote for her. That sounds really familiar to me. I think I once said the same thing about Bill Clinton.

Bottom line: 65-1

11) Adam Lambert - Hey, it's another guy I feel good about rooting against. No doubt he can sing, but he really creeps me out. Does he remind anybody else of a vampire? Anybody? The judges love him, and based on the audience response, America is going to love him. In fact, at this point, I'm pretty confident he and Danny Gokey will be facing off in the final, and I will be rooting for Danny Gokey like he's facing the Yankees in Game 7 of the Series.

Bottom line: He's just behind Danny at even money.

12) Matt Giraud - This dude kind of reminds me of Justin Timberlake. I'm not going to tell you if that is a good or bad thing.

Bottom line: 12-1. He's not going to win, but he's going to have moments.

13) Alexis Grace - Speaking of JT, Alexis is from Memphis too. And, she gets bonus points because her dad looks like a character from the "Lord of the Rings". I have no idea how she sounded because she sang "Dirty Diana", which distracted me because I haven't heard that song outside a.... Well, let's just say that I only hear that song on bachelor parties these days. Seriously, she seemed okay, but not spectacular. I am, however, a big fan of Kara's comments.

Bottom line: 30-1

So, after week 1, it looks the contenders are Lil, Scott, Danny, Allison, Adam, and Matt is the only legit longshot. But, really, it looks like it is only a two horse race.

Okay, I've made you suffer enough, and I've got a couple of hours of CWebb and GP on Tivo I have to get to before I turn in.

WAD...Out!

Random? Yes. Entertaining? Probably Not.

2009-03-05T21:53:00.003-05:00

I know you are all too excited about the start of the World Baseball Classic to care about what I have to say, so I will be brief. Okay, so nobody actually cares about the WBC, and I've never been brief a day in my life. That being said, there really isn't any one thing going on these days that that warrants its own column, so brace yourself for some random thoughts to take you into the weekend:

I've watched some horrible things in my life, especially on the internet, but never in my life have I seen anything more horrifying than the Tatiana experience on tonight's "Idol". Listen, she is probably a very good person with a great family, but she's undoubtedly the most insufferable person we've seen on network reality television since Omarosa. And, for the record, the fact that the judges brought her back for a second chance seriously calls the show's integrity into question. What? The show's integrity has been in question since the beginning? I'm shocked.

We learned on tonight's "Idol" that the new judge, Kara Dioguardi, went to Duke. Say what you will about her, but can't we all agree that she is unquestionably the most attractive woman to ever go to Duke? And yes, I realize this is not an exactly what we would call a high standard.

I'm watching the Mavs @ the Hornets right now, and I have two observations: 1) Chris Paul is electric, and I'm certain that he is the best pure point guard we've seen since Isiah. And yes, that includes Stockton and Kidd; 2) Speaking of Kidd, for all the accolades and media slurping through the years, on his best day, Jason Kidd was never close to the player Chris Paul is right now. I said it! If anybody wants to debate this with me, please give me a call. It's been a while since I won an argument, so I would welcome the opportunity. I will even give you a preview of my argument.

Kidd has always made his teammates better with his ability to run the break, see the floor, and make fantastic decisions in the half court. He, however, has always had three major weaknesses: 1) he has never been great at getting to the hole off the dribble in the half court because he has never had a better than average first step; 2) he has never had the quickness to be a lock down on the ball defender; and 3) He simply can't shoot outside 19 feet. Now, look at Paul. In short, he has all the same strengths and none of the weaknesses. And, for the record, he just made Jose Barea look foolish. Again, I realize this is not an exactly what we would call a high standard.

If you haven't listened to yesterday's "B.S. Report" with Simmons and Ric Bucher, do yourself a favor and go to the 28 minute mark. Bucher's comments about the Celtics are fantastic. Let's just say that he perfectly summed up how every person that doesn't live in Boston feels about this Celtic team.

Quick question about A-Roid (honestly, I didn't mean to type "Roid". It just happened. Clearly, it was written.): Who is responsible for his pending hip surgery, the Yankees or Boras? Specifically, did the Yankees tell him that he would be anywhere on Earth other than the New Yankee Stadium on opening day, or did Boras tell him that actually suiting up for the Dominican Republic would be the nail in his endorsement coffin here in the States? Either way, I'm okay with it. Honestly, at this point, can't we all agree that MLB is a better place without all the crap that surrounds this guy? I think so.

If you want to wet your appetite for March Madness, tune into CBS at 4 p.m. Sunday afternoon when Duke and Carolina renew the greatest rivalry in college basketball. Duke is #7, UNC is #2, and a #1 seed could be at stake. Yes, you read that correctly. If Duke wins this game and makes the ACC Finals, there is at least a decent chance the least talented Duke team of the past decades can steal a #1 seed. On the other hand, if UNC drops this game at home and doesn't win the ACC tournament, they could drop to a #2. That being said, there is no way Psycho T (I've never hated a nickname more than this one) is losing on Senior Day in the Dean Dome.

The Link of the Week is 82 Games. Take an hour or so and check out this site and you will be amazed at the time and effort these guys dedicate to their work. I waste entirely too much time on this site every week. I really need to find a hobby.

Finally, nobody really did anything terribly baffling this week, so I decided to give the "Really" to Wall Street, which continues to baffle/destroy me financially and emotionally on daily basis.

I hope everybody has a good weekend, and as a tease, I will tell you that we are in the process of potentially adding some new technology to the WAD. I don't want to say too much because I'm not sure we can make it work (mainly due to my technical ineptitude), but we are trying.

Tuesday Night Musings

2009-03-03T22:13:00.002-05:00

I'm not sure if I've made this point before, but I'm going to make it again. I am willing to overlook every ridiculous thing we see on "24" (endless cellphone batteries, twelve armed dudes swimming underneath and invading the White House, Janeane Garofalo portraying a decent American, everything Chloe does, etc...), but I simply cannot overlook the absurdity of one thing: After all we've been through, how can anybody EVER doubt Jack Bauer? My God, what does the man have to do? Can you imagine if, during the final timeout of Game 6 of the '98 Finals, Phil Jackson had looked at MJ and said, "I'm sorry, Mike. I know you've never not come through in the clutch, but I just don't believe you can take Byron Russell. I'm going to put the ball in Kukoc's hands!" This is the exact conversation we hear at least three times every episode this season. Well, it's not the exact conversation, but you get the point, right?

Bill Simmons wrote an amazing piece last week on the NBA's looming economic woes. In the same piece, he also pointed out the abysmal condition of NBA officiating. Well, I can't speak intelligently about the League's economic woes, but I can absolutely and unequivocally concur with his assessment of the officiating. The end of Sunday night's Hawks/Cavs game was an embarrassment. And now, I'm watching the end of the Nets/Bucks game (I know, it's a sign of a major problem when you are watching the Nets and Bucks), and the officiating in the final 10 seconds has been beyond questionable. I have no real point here other than to point out that NBA officials are very bad at their job. You're welcome.

If you happen to read this before midnight, text "vote" to 5710. We need to keep Kendall on "Idol". Sure, she's not a great singer, but I'm a fan. I'll just leave it at that. And yes, I watch "Idol" every week, and I am not ashamed. Do you hear me? I'm not ashamed! Okay, I'm a little ashamed, but it could be worse. It could be "The Bachelor".

Two pearls of wisdom from GP and CWebb tonight: 1) The Bobcats are making the playoffs; and 2) Brook Lopez is getting busy. And, for the record, CWebb is wearing Chuck Taylors with his suit tonight. Seriously, do I have to beg you to watch these guys?

Let's talk about the Hawks for a moment. Believe it or not, I truly believe last night's win over the Wizards was their biggest win of the season. Before you call me nuts, just hear me out. It was about 11 p.m. Sunday night when the refs stole the Cavs game from them. They raced to the airport only to sit on the runway for over 3 hours because the world's busiest airport apparently only has one de-icer. They flew an hour and half to Dulles (why they didn't fly to Reagan, I have no idea), only to hop on a bus for a nearly two hour ride on icy roads from Northern Virginia to downtown D.C (normally a 45 minute ride). In other words, they didn't get to their hotel until 7 a.m., turned around 12 hours later, shook off the funk from the robbery the night before, and grabbed a road win and pushed their lead over the Heat for the 4th seed to 2.5 games. Do you have any idea how easy it would have been to mail that game in? If nothing else, the fact that they didn't shows the Hawks have character and are approaching every game with a truly professional manner. And, with more home games left than any other team in the League (14), the chances of 47 wins and home court advantage in the first round are great. In case you haven't noticed, I'm excited about where this is going.

In complete contrast to my feelings about the Hawks, I am deeply saddened that Georgia Tech has disbanded its basketball program. What? That is a team of scholarship athletes? You've got to be kidding me!

Before I go, I have five questions for you. Seriously, any input you have would be greatly appreciated because I'm at a loss:

1) How in the world did the Pats only get the 34th pick in the draft for Matt Cassel?

2) Why in the world were the Broncos trying to trade Jay Cutler?

3) How did Richard Hamilton get the nickname "Rip". I'm embarrassed, but I've never known where this came from.

4) Is it too soon to start referring to Greg Oden as Sam Bowie II? I hope so, but I'm growing more concerned by the day.

5) What do we have to do to organize a heads up poker tournament between Dan Snyder and Hank Steinbrenner? Sure, it wouldn't last long since they would both go blind all-in on the first hand, but could you imagine the drama watching the dealer flip those cards?

Links anyone?

2009-02-26T18:34:00.002-05:00

I had every intention of breaking down the merits of the Celtics signing Steph, but since I won't actually believe Danny Ainge is going to pull the trigger until he squeezes off the round, I'm holding off for now. Plus, given the facts that: 1) I'm aware everyone is not as big an NBA fan as me; and 2) I dropped 3,000 words of NBA talk on Tuesday, I decided to spare you for now....sort of.

Over the past several weeks, I've dropped more than a few references to my ever growing bromance (can we all agree that "bromance" is an upgrade from "man crush"?) with GP and CWebb. As a result, based on emails and conversations with many of you, I've made an alarming discovery. Specifically, many of you don't get NBATV. In addition to the sympathy I feel because you aren't able to watch random interviews with Connie Hawkins at 6:45 p.m. on a Thursday (granted, I may need a hobby), I'm devastated that you have not been able to share in the emergence of the greatest television duo since Larry Appleton and Balki Bartokomous. (Yes, I just made a "Perfect Strangers" reference. That just happened.) In order to rectify this situation and hopefully bring some joy to your lives, I give you, in no particular order, seven of my favorite GP and CWebb moments, courtesy of NBATV and Youtube:

7) The Wigs

6) "You were probably hugging Kobe" - If you haven't seen the show before, this is probably the best clip to show the gang's all around game.

5) Rondoooooooooooooooooooo

4) Marriage advice to Nene

3) Who bought the popcorn?

2) Nash - this is actually more about Steve Nash than the Dynamic Duo, but it's high comedy and worth a view.

1) The Greatest Hits

All kidding aside, in addition to being hilarious, these guys are incredibly insightful and offer some of the best NBA commentary you can find, especially CWebb.

Before we call it a weekend, a little housekeeping:

This week's "Really" goes to Brian Austin Green. That's right, The BAG, better known as David Silver, called it quits with Megan Fox this week. Reports indicate the split was mutual, which suggests The BAG had some choice in the matter. Given the current state of his career and the fact that he is closer to 40 than 30, it makes perfect sense that he would want out of his relationship with a 22 year old bombshell...or not. Nice call, BAG.

I can't believe it's taken four weeks to do this, but this week's link is Bill Simmons' site. The reasons should be obvious.

The Elites

2009-02-24T21:29:00.004-05:00

It’s Tuesday night. You know what that means. That’s right, boys and girls, it’s GP and CWebb! Couple that with the fact that I still haven’t watched last night’s "24" or "House" and this is shaping up to be one hell of a television night. Oh, and the President has an hour reserved tonight to tell us how poor we are, or how poor we are going to be. Well, instead of focusing on things that aren’t really that important, let’s talk about something of real importance. I am, of course, referring to the NBA; specifically, the Atlanta Hawks...sort of.

I have to confess that this topic is not entirely a WAD original. I was driving into the office this morning and heard the guys on 790 The Zone talking Hawks. I, of course, was pumped to hear Atlanta’s Air Force getting some air time, but I didn’t necessarily agree with all the opinions I was hearing. Specifically, when discussing the Hawks recent "struggles" (I’m using quotes because, call me nuts, I’m not freaking because they’ve hit a few road bumps on a post All-Star break West Coast swing, but that’s for another day), the conversation turned to Joe Johnson.

Without rehashing the entire discussion, a fascinating question occurred to me during the course of the dialogue (I understand "fascinating" may mean something entirely different to you than it does to me): Assuming you don’t believe Joe Johnson can serve as the "go to" guy on a championship team, how many players in the Association can? In other words, if you removed Joe from the Hawks roster, how many players could you replace him with and immediately make the Hawks a championship contender? It’s important to remember that I’m not asking what players would make the Hawks better. I’m asking which players are good enough, by their mere presence, to catapult the Hawks from a middle of the pack Eastern Conference playoff team to a legitimate contender for the Larry O’Brien Trophy?

What’s the purpose of asking this question? Well, as I see it, it’s two fold: 1) I believe the analysis reveals that, no matter what happens with this Hawks season, Joe Johnson should not be a scapegoat. Listen, I’m not arguing that he is the kind of guy that can lead you to a ring without significant help. What I am arguing is that it’s unfair to criticize Joe for not being one of those guys, because, at the end of the day, only a small handful of those guys exists; and 2) I think this analysis, in a pretty direct way, reveals the truly elite players in the Association. In fact, that’s what we are going to call them: The Elites. So, now that we are 500 words deep, let’s finally get to the point! I give you "The Elites" broken down by conference and team.

Eastern Conference:

1) There are undisputedly no Elites on any of these teams:

New York

Philly

Toronto - Bosh is a very good player, but honestly, does he even make the Raptors better? Let me put it this way: you say "Chris Bosh", and I say "Shareef Abdur-Rahim"

Chicago - D. Rose has the potential to enter this category one day, but we need more of a portfolio to examine.

Detroit

Indiana

Milwaukee

Charlotte

Washington

New Jersey - if you were thinking Vince Carter, I'm going to have to insist you never return to this site. I'm sorry, but those are the rules. And, while I do think Mavs fans die a little inside every time they see a Devin Harris stat line and every time they see Jason Kidd do a very bad impersonation of a young and capable point guard, I think we can all agree that Devin Harris does not belong within earshot of this discussion, right?

2) You can make an argument for these guys, but you are going to lose.

Boston - a decade of history has revealed that the sum of the whole, when it comes to the Big 3, is much greater than that of the individuals. None of these guys, in their individual capacity would suddenly make the Hawks a championship contender. Don't believe me? Ask the Minnesota, Seattle, and Boston fans.

Orlando - Dwight Howard has a strong case, but until he logs crunch time minutes in May and June, we just can't be certain. And, frankly, his Olympic performance (his only time on the big stage) was troublesome. Finally, until we find out what went on in that phone booth for 45 seconds at the dunk contest, I don't think we can make any decisions.

3) Your Eastern Conference Elites.

LeBron & D. Wade - If we can't all agree on these guys, how are we ever going to correct this economy? My bad. I'm watching the President as I type this, and I got distracted. That being said, LeBron and D. Wade would get a standing ovation out of both the Democrats and the Republicans, right? While we're on the topic, is there anything more entertainingly awkward than the look on the faces of the members of the opposing party when they are deciding whether they need to join in the standing ovation? They kind of look around, and you can see the wheels turning..."On one hand, I don't want my constituents to think I'm going soft and supporting this guy. On the other hand, I really do think it's a good idea to feed starving babies. Ah hell, what is Minority Leader doing? What do I do? Somebody tell me what to do!" With the exception of Jennifer Aniston presenting an OSCAR five feet away from Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, you will never see a more embattled look of discomfort and awkwardness. Good times.

Western Conference:

1) There are undisputedly no Elites on any of these teams.

Golden State

L.A. Clippers

Sacramento Kings

Houston Rockets (this was true even before T-Mac went down)

Memphis

Minnesota

Portland (Brandon Roy has potential to make this list, but he disappears for huge stretches of games, and if he is not scoring, he is not contributing).

2) You could make an argument for these guys, but you are going to lose.

Phoenix - It's fair to throw Nash in the mix since he is a two time MVP, but you simply CANNOT forget that he was the two time MVP on teams chalked full of talent (i.e. Amare and Marion), and they never reached Finals. Furthermore, he is no longer the same player he was just two years ago. He just turned 35, and he is on the backside of his career. Finally, when forced to play without Amare in Game 6 against the Spurs in the '07 conference semis, he didn't lead his team to victory. I'm not suggesting he should have, or that it was fair to expect him to. To be an Elite, however,we have to at least believe you could pull this off, and I don't know a soul who thought Nash could.

Dallas - Dirk has a decent argument, but not a convincing one. Three years ago, he would have probably made the list, but he has never been the same since he ran into the D. Wade/NBA ref. buzz saw in the '06 finals. Just ask the Golden State Warriors.

San Antonio - See Boston above. Five years ago, Duncan makes the list. Now, not so much. And, for the record, there is nothing wrong with the sum of the whole being greater than that of the parts. Unless you have one of the Elites, you have to count on it. In fact, 5 of the last 6 Champions are all glaring examples of this. The only exception, of course, is the D. Wade led Heat in '06.

Utah - I'm just not there with Deron Williams. And, I'm certainly not there with Carlos Boozer, and you shouldn't be either.

3) Your Western Conference Elites.

Kobe - I hope this is so obvious this doesn't need explanation.

Chris Paul - Put him on the Hawks and they are right in the mix with the Cavs and Celtics. Can you imagine Bibby as your sixth man? Granted, if we had Paul, we would have never traded for Bibby, but I'm imagining right now. Don't disturb me! Can you imagine Joe slashing and spotting up and Paul finding him. I can't continue to do this to myself. It's just not healthy.

Kevin Durant - If you don't believe me, you have to buy the NBA package and watch all his games. I can't stress to you enough that I think he is the third best player in this league. On some nights, he is better than that. 26.2 points/game; 6.6 boards/game; 3 assists/game; 48.5% from the floor; 43.4% from 3 point range; and 86% from the line. Are you kidding me? This guy can't even walk into a bar and buy a beer until September 29th! And, you know how you can watch some guys play and know that the only thing in the world they care about is winning? If you don't know, watch Durant. You will figure it out.

Chauncey Billups - Admittedly, it's probably a stretch to think Chaucey would put the Hawks in the mix with the Cavs and C's, but his history is compelling. He is one of the most clutch players of the past decade. He is one of the best defensive guards in the league. He led the Pistons to 6 straight conference finals. And, now that he has left Detroit, they have gone to hell and his new team is battling out with the western conference elite. In other words, big time winning seems to follow him. Why would Atlanta be any different?

Okay, that's it. At the end of the day, in my humble opinion, there are 6 Elites in the NBA. As always, I am more than willing to be convinced otherwise. Sure, Joe Johnson is not one of the, but that tells you nothing more than that they are in the same boat as 24 other teams in the NBA, and it just so happens that, in 5 of the last six years, the NBA Champion has come from that group of 24. The point? Don't hate on Joe Johnson. Get him a little more help in the offseason, and the sum of the whole might be enough. Can we make this happen? YES WE CAN!

Check back tomorrow night/Thursday morning for riveting commentary. Based off tonight's reports, I would imagine I'm going to have something to say about the Steph buyout/Celtics signing Steph story. Although it's been rumored for a while, I never actually thought it would happen, so I've never actually given any thought to whether it is actually as ridiculous as it sounds.