Thursday, August 30, 2007

College football is here

Tonight is the night - college football is finally here. Easily the best game of the night is LSU at Mississippi State. There was a hidden gem in espn's preview. LSU head coach Les Miles gave the best backhanded compliment of this young season: MSU is "conceptually very good."

The pros have MSU getting 18, but that won't be enough. Despite my intense hatred of Lester Miles, his team is both conceptually and actually better than MSU. This one will be over after the first quarter, but I'll keep watching since I continue to deny that Boise State has a football team.


Oklahoma State v. Georgia
My upset alert for this weekend is OSU over Georgia. OSU's offense is good, and they'll have the best QB, RB and WR on the field on Saturday. Georgia giving up 6.5 to a vastly superior offense is just too much to pass up. Having said all that, I'm rooting for Georgia to win. Now that Dunn is financially tied to the Bulldogs' Sagarin rating, I'd like to see them do well just to watch Dunn's love of money and loathing of Georgia collide into an explosion of Beam-scented bits of Skoal and Cheeto.


Georgia Tech v. Notre Dame
Now for my analysis of Tech/N.D. Let's start with last year's game. Tech should have won, but they were outcoached by "nice buttkicking" Charlie Weis. Bitch about the refs all you want, they got outcoached, I saw it live. (Disclaimer - what I saw came after a day of drinking, part of which was spent in a deep freezer with Shalloway.) Notre Dame has a better coach and God on its side, those are two big advantages.

Both teams are breaking in new quarterbacks, but again the advantage goes to Notre Dame. It's always easier to make your first start at home (unless you're Paul Thompson). At least you don't have to suffer through another year with Reggie Ball.

Even though I think N.D. has the advantages at coach and QB, I still think they'll lose. Why? Weis's QB secrecy game is gimmicky. If he's so desperate that he needs to resort to this type of game, that means he doesn't have great confidence in his starter or his team.

N.D. also lost too many skill players. Tech's RB, former Sooner Tashard Choice, is a stud. He'll be running all day behind one of the best O-lines in the country. Put that together with Tech's defense, and they'll win this game Baltimore Ravens style.


Links of the Day
  • Bill Murray + booze + golf cart = DUI.
  • Did you forget about O.J.'s book? You can pre-order it now.
  • Next year's Dancing With the Stars will have Mark Cuban, Floyd Mayweather, and Wayne Newton. Sweet.
  • Strippers can tell if things are real or fake.
  • OU is looking for NCAA approval to allow a booster to fund a recruit's funeral. In a related story, Stoops said the university would not sue to recover Mr. Mitchell's signing bonus.
  • Reggie Ball is on IR for the Lions, so he won't play this year. Strangely enough, five good minutes of googling couldn't find his injury, it was always listed as (undisclosed). I suspect pusitis.
  • Here's a list of the top 500 current NFL players. With 53 man rosters and 32 teams, this list covers roughly the top third. Calvin Johnson checks in at number 63 (the highest rookie). Mike Vick is at 214, and Adrian Peterson at 243.
  • Dog chewed Vick cards sold for $7,400 on eBay.
  • Stats can't get enough of the LLWS, so he sent this along.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Caption contest

Monday, August 27, 2007

Monday Musings

Here we are. You smell that, kids? You feel that in the air? I know I do. That’s right, after nine months of anguish, we are finally on the eve of the three months of the year that make life worth living: college football season. Normally, I would include the NFL in this declaration of love, but I trust you will understand if I’m not too excited about the prospect of watching Joey Harrington lead the Falcons into battle. Let’s just go ahead and agree that my NFL interest is going to be limited to gambling and nothing else this year. Can we do that? Good. Anyway, it’s finally game week and toe meets leather this Thursday night in Starkville, MS when LSU comes calling. Then, of course, things kick off in earnest on Saturday with some great intersectional match-ups. My Jackets travel up to South Bend to seek revenge against the Domers after having victory ripped from our hands last year by the refs and Reggie Ball. UGA continues its new found tradition of hosting a Big 12 bottom feeder to start the season when the Pokes come calling. And, I’m sure Ole Miss and Memphis play this week. I mean, they have been the first game of my gambling…I mean, the college football season for many years now. I guess the point is that I am very excited and you should be too. I hope you take the opportunity to fire away in the comments section all week as we get ready for kickoff. That being said, enough rambling and run-on sentences, here’s some Monday Musings:

  • Went and saw “Superbad” this weekend. Listen, this movie isn’t winning any Oscars, but I recommend every guy go see it. It will take you back to a better time. It is about an hour and 45 minutes, and only about 20 minutes of that is really funny, but that 20 minutes is worth the price of admission. I, however, would do everything in your power to make sure your wife, girlfriend, mother, daughter, maid, or whatever woman you care about doesn’t go see it with you. Why? Well, let’s just say that one of two things is going to happen: 1) you are going to rupture your spleen attempting not to laugh at some the outrageously disgusting lines because you don’t want to have to explain to your loved one how in the world you find this funny, much less that you have had that exact conversation at some point in your life (i.e. Friday night at Front Page News); or 2) you won’t be able to control yourself and she will never look at you the same after you have fallen out of your chair laughing at some of these lines. Trust me on this one. And yes, I happen to care for my maid very much, thank you!

  • The kids from Georgia won the Little League World Series. I guess I should feel some sense of pride about this, but I can’t bring myself to care about Major League baseball anymore, much less Little League baseball. It’s too bad because it’s not often a team from Georgia actually wins something.

  • Speaking of Major League baseball, I saw Roger Clemens in an AT&T wireless commercial for the first time tonight. I immediately sent an email to my firm’s IT guy and told him had to switch my cell phone carrier to Verizon. Is it a little pathetic that I can hate a man so much when I have never been in the same room with? I mean, I’m pretty certain the Rocket has never been to Willy’s and said, “I will not get the nachos with extra jalapenos because that is how The WAD likes his.” Still, I can’t help myself, I hate him. I just thought you should know.

  • Anybody else catch the Teen Choice Awards last night? Anybody? Really? Stop judging me!

  • Wednesday night I’m participating in my annual fantasy football draft. We’ve got fourteen teams, and 13 of the owners graduated from Tech and Fite graduated from OU. Never before have two rookies gone in the first round of a fantasy draft, but the Calvin Johnson / Adrian Peterson first round combo is a mortal lock…buy stock in it.

Make sure to check in tomorrow for a recap of this week’s “Entourage.” Not a great episode, but still plenty of stuff to talk about.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Friday with Fite

Good to see the WAD up and running again. Let's check the news...

Harlem residents aren't too happy with the Yankees. Apparently the team that Ruth built has started selling Yankees hats tailored to the Bloods, Crips, and Latin Kings. In a related story, 85 year old Maurice Greenberg was gunned down at 125th and Amsterdam. Mr. Greenberg's wife, Barbra, said "he was attacked by a bunch of boys wearing blue hats. After they killed him, they urinated on his red Yankees hat. I just don't understand."

It looks like Mr. Lohan isn't a runaway winner of the 2007 father of the year award. Mike Vick's dad (who, inexplicably, has a last name of Boddie) told the AJC that he warned his son about dogfighting. For me, the most interesting thing about this Vick situation is that "dogfighting" is in my word processor's spell check dictionary.

I really think ESPN is missing the boat, this could be some great TV.

The worldwide leader put together a list of the 100 greatest beatdowns in history. I think they missed a few: Kermit Washington v. Tomjanovich; Harding v. Kerrigan; Miami v. Florida International; and Shawn Kemp v. birth control.

Start the timer, only two weeks until football.


Have a nice day,
Fite

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Medellin...Boom!

During my eight month hiatus, the hardest part about living life as myself and not as The WAD was giving up Television Tuesdays. Sure, at its core, The WAD (the cite and not the man – and yes, I realize I have referred to myself in the third person twice in two sentences) is really about sports. But, with the exception of the running diaries, my ramblings about television have always been the articles I've most enjoyed writing. So, it is with great joy that I am about to waste the next five to seven minutes of your life celebrating season four of “Entourage”, or as I like to call it, “Entourage: A Return to Glory.”

If you remember, I was very critical of “Entourage” at times last season. Week after week I bemoaned the fact that the writers had lost sight of what made the show great from the start: beautiful women, celebrity cameos, irresponsible spending, Drama’s ridiculous exploits, and Ari saying and doing things we only wish we could say and do. In fact, by the end of season 3, I was afraid “Entourage” was quickly headed the way of “The O.C.” You know, a potential first ballot hall of famer that peaked too soon and inexplicably ate itself out of the Show faster than Mo Vaughn. Well, fortunately for all of us that rely on fictional television characters to provide an escape from our own thrilling lives, season 4 has proved much more Ankiel than Vaughn. What’s made the difference? I’m glad you asked. Here are the five biggest reasons “Entourage” is back on the fast track to Cooperstown:

1) Turtle and Drama - these two have quickly become one of the best comedy duos since Pryor and Wilder. This season we’ve continually seen episodes involving two distinct story lines. One story line usually involves E, Vince, and Ari doing somewhat respectable things, while the other story line usually involves Drama and Turtle falling into absurd situations. I mean, in a four episode stretch Turtle hooked up with Lisa Rinna while Drama hooked up with an obese elderly woman (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1cY7n9bJZE), Drama jumped head first into the sub-culture of furries (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhA-MSbF6TM) , and the dynamic duo paid $62K for a Koufax jersey after Vito from the “Sopranos” backed out of the deal. These are just the highlights. I haven’t even mentioned Drama serving as a human canvas for Gary Busey (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6SzmQDVAXw). Honestly, Turtle and Drama could carry their own show at this point.

2) Mrs. Ari- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFk9f5IVa8c I think it’s best if I let you draw your own conclusions.

3) Billy Walsh- Honestly, if I knew somebody like this in real life I would hate him. This, however, is not real life, and Walsh’s insanity is hilarious. Plus, how can you not love a guy that wants to beat E’s ass? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjTSU7au01I

4) Lloyd- The growing relationship between Ari and Lloyd may be the most entertaining subplot of season 4. Every time these two are on screen together it's comedy gold. Don’t believe me? Just take a look:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LSr_2COFd8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ozRIGIMLGk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tH5h2g9vwYg&mode=related&search=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHrhjQNQVq0&mode=related&search=

5) Ari- This, of course, is a no brainer. Even during the down times of season 3, Ari always brought his A game. Now, in season 4, believe it or not, he’s taken it to a whole new level. I could try to explain it, or I could just let you take a look:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKKwpS1Y2Vw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnMmrF0nhMA&mode=related&search=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3-D2StzXk0&mode=related&search=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpVdSQYHYqg&mode=related&search=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Sc-Bb_pRhQ&mode=related&search=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GBfV5L2F8UA&mode=related&search=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Or46IG_yhY&mode=related&search=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0tRB3DDKZM&mode=related&search=


As great as it's been, however, Season 4 does have one glaring weakness. Specifically, the idea that E could actually walk away from a woman like Sloan and somehow fall into Anna Faris is not only absurd, it’s offensive. Seriously, at this point, E has become so annoying that I’m almost ready to declare him the male equivalent of Dr. Yang from “Grey’s Anatomy.” Almost. But, even my ever growing annoyance with E can’t spoil what has been an MVP season for a hall of fame show. Let’s just hope that we have enough Ari, Lloyd, Drama, and Turtle in the last two episodes to make us somehow overlook the fact that we are inevitably going to be asked to believe that E could actually land a movie star.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Back in the Saddle Again

Whoever had 8 months and 10 days in the “how long can The WAD keep his mouth shut” pool is the big winner. Ah, who am I kidding? The WAD is back, baby…everybody’s a big winner! I’ve been kicking around the idea of jumping back on the horse for a few weeks, and a little prodding from the roommate, Hans (yes, he amazingly has not kicked me out yet!), some subtle prodding from Stats, and the dawn of football season only weeks away, I just couldn’t hold back. After all, my expert commentary and legendary wagering advice have become tradition over the past two football seasons, and when it comes to tradition, who am I to stand in the way? I think Nas said it best when he opined, “carry on tradition, carry, c-carry on tradition, carry on tradition, when you rep what we rep, you carry on tradition” So, let’s get to the business of repping what we rep and carry on this tradition.

A lot has transpired since we parted ways back in January. Let’s take a moment to reflect on some of the highlights:

Peyton Manning managed not to gag in the big game;

Lebron led the worst team ever to win a major professional sports conference to a humiliating sweep in the NBA Finals;

Billy Donovan once again proved that good things happen to bad people;

Paris Hilton went to jail;

Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears lost their minds and proved that rehab really does work;

Barry Bonds broke the most sacred record in sports and nobody cared;

“Ice Road Truckers” and “The Two Coreys” became the most addictive shows of a miserable television off season;

Vince and E pulled off “Medellin” and Drama landed a part on a hit show;

“The Sopranos” faded to black with the sweet lyrics of Journey in the background…weird;

Heidi and Spencer started a rumor that LC and Jason made an...uh...adult video;

I took two trips to Vegas, one trip to New Orleans, and one trip to Atlantic City. I have done a lot to promote the local economies in all three locations. What can I say? I'm a giver;

We were shocked, shocked I tell you, to find that an NBA ref could be bought; and if that’s not enough;

Michael Vick made it socially acceptable to use the term “rape stand” in the office. Thanks for that, Mike. I mean, so what if you destroyed our franchise and let down every person that has dumped money into Falcons season tickets, at least you gave us something. I just threw up on myself.

I could serve up about 5,000 words on all these developments, especially Paris, Britney, and Lohan, but since this is the first day back, I’m going to just ease back into this and only address the one issue that everybody in this town won’t shut up about, Vick.

Over the past few weeks, everybody I know, everybody I’ve met, and even a dude on the subway in New York have asked me my opinion on this situation, and honestly, I’m really tired of the whole thing. At the end of the day, I think we’ve learned two things: 1) Mike Vick isn’t much of a dog lover, and 2) if you want to become the most vilified man in America, don’t rob a bank, don’t lie, cheat or steal, hell, don’t even kill another human being…kill some dogs, that should do the trick.

Before you start blasting me, you have to understand that I’m not defending or advocating the killing of dogs. In fact, I'm pretty anti dog killing. I’m simply saying that in light of all the problems we have in the world today, I find the level of outrage over this whole thing a bit staggering. I mean, it’s not like he was trying carry weed on an airplane in a water bottle! A little perspective is all I’m asking for. That being said, I don’t plan on ever typing the words Michael Vick again. He is my Fredo Corleone…he’s dead to me. Well, unless he somehow becomes the Falcons’ quarterback again. If that happens, my memory of this off-season should fade pretty quickly.

Okay, I know this isn’t my best work, but I’m just happy to be back. Over the next two weeks we are going to rev this thing back up with plenty of college football talk, some NFL, maybe even a little talk about the pennant races, and definitely some talk about “The Hills.” Go ahead and prepare yourselves.