Monday, January 08, 2007

Pass the Corn Chips, Please!

First things first this morning: Everybody’s lock of the week will involve tonight’s game. You must pick the spread (Ohio State -7.5) and the over/under (46). I need you to email it to me or Fish by 6 P.M. tonight, so we can have time to post it before the game.

Now, before discussing tonight’s showdown between the Gators and the Buckeyes, I have just three things to say about this weekend’s Wild Card games:

1) The Colts managed to win easily with Peyton Manning throwing three picks. I’m not exactly sure what that means, but I have to think that’s a good sign for Tony Dungy. I mean, it’s got to happen sooner or later, right?

2) As for the other Manning, well, let’s just say that I’m a little more than worried about the post-Tikki era for Eli. If not for Plaxico being an absolute athletic freak, I’m not sure Eli would have completed a pass over two yards yesterday. And, if it hadn’t been for Tikki’s legendary will, they would have been blown right out of the stadium. In other words, I’m not expecting big things from the G-men in the ’07 – ’08 season!

3) My hatred for Joe Buck and Troy Aikman has taken on a life of its own. Actually, it’s gotten so bad that I can’t even discuss it rationally anymore. The fact of the matter is that I’ve never heard two more arrogant guys than these two. It’s outrageous to listen to them. In fact, I’ve now sworn that I will mute Joe Buck every time he is on T.V. He needs to be removed from television…NOW!!!!

And now, for the first ever Tostitos BCS Championship Game:

There was a time not too long ago that I would have looked at this game and seen no way that Ohio State could ever beat Florida, because there was a time not too long ago that the difference in speed between top SEC and Big 10 teams was just too great for the Big 10 to overcome. Now, with guys like Troy Smith, Ted Ginn, Jr., Antonio Pittman, Chris Wells, Anthony Gonzalez, Brian Robiskie, Vernon Gholston, and Roy Hall it’s hard to argue that the Big 10 Champ doesn’t have the speed and athleticism to matchup with anybody. Also, to the casual fan, and even to the uneducated ESPN analyst, of which there seem to be many, this game, at first glance, would figure to be a great matchup of OSU’s staunch defense against Urban Meyer and the Gator’s explosive offense. The facts, however, tell a much different story. More specifically, it’s the Buckeyes, with their 36.3 points/game and 410 yards a game that boast the more explosive offense (Florida only averages 29 points/game and 398 yards/game). Not to mention, the Buckeyes also boast the better defense, only giving up 10.4 points/game compared to Florida’s 13.5 points/game. And, oh by the way, Ohio State also has the Heisman trophy winner under center and one of the best game coaches in America on the sideline (and, the only one of the two head coaches with any class whatsoever).

All that being said, it should be pretty clear that I think this is a mis-match in every possible way. I think Chris Leak will turn the ball over no less than three times, Ted Ginn, Jr. will make no less than four big plays (3 on offense and 1 on special teams), and Urban Meyer’s cute little bullshit offense won’t get out the starting blocks. In the end, I think the Buckeyes win this game 37 – 7. So, that’s how I feel about this game. Now, considering my prognosticating record this season (an abysmal 44%), let’s look at what is really going to happen:

1) Ohio State is going to be rusty after their 51 day lay off, and Troy Smith will be slowed down by the 15 extra pounds he put on during the banquet circuit, his timing will be off, and he will throw a couple of bad picks in the first half;

2) Ohio State will have spent nearly two months scheming to shutdown Meyer’s bullshit offense, but he will have suddenly grown some common sense, line up with a fullback and run the ball straight down OSU’s throat;

3) Florida will have a huge chip on their shoulder because they are feeling “disrespected”, and they will play with a reckless abandon, and before OSU knows what hits them, they will be down 21 points; and

4) OSU will rally in the second half, but they will come up just short and Florida will be crowned national champions!

Why, you ask, am I expecting the clearly inferior team to pull off the upset and triumph over the team that is clearly the best team in America and deserves to be National Champions? Well, that’s simple: With the exception of the Pats yersterday, no team I’ve rooted for in the past two months has won a game. Therefore, I have officially become the human kiss of death, and it would behoove Jim Tressell to wire me a boat load of money to not root for his Buckeyes tonight. No matter what the outcome, don’t forget to check in tomorrow for The WAD’s swan song, a running diary of tonight’s game!