Tuesday, January 09, 2007

BCS Swan Song

8:17: Here we are, live at the WAD Palace (a/k/a Hans’ house), and we’ve assembled an impressive cast of characters for tonight’s National Championship Game. On the big couch, we’ve got Chandler (fresh off a weekend with the in-laws, we could see a legendary performance from him tonight, let’s just say three beers in the first 12 minutes is a good start), Hans (foregoing the skull cap from last year’s game and sporting his trusty FDNY hat), and Alec (he’s the shortest guy in the room, but he’s definitely got the biggest heart). In the rolling computer chair, we’ve got Fisher, who has already insulted three of us and has spent the past six minutes thinking of some way to insult Chandler…give him time. Next to me on the loveseat, we’ve got the only SEC representative, Ricky F. (this might be the first night in half a decade he hasn’t gotten laid by 10 P.M., so he’s a little restless), and then there’s me, sporting the skull cap in honor of Hans’ performance last year. Hold on to your seats brothers and sisters, this is going to be a fun night!

8:22: We are still waiting for the teams to take the field, but the boys on the big couch are passing the time by checking out http://www.perezhilton.com/. I promised them that wouldn’t make it in the diary, so we are five minutes in, and I’m already sacrificing lifetime friendships! Hey, the WAD only comes to an end once!

8:25: Chris Meyers: Coach Urban Meyer, are you nervous?
Coach Meyer: I’m not nervous, because I’m a huge f*cking prick, and I make Tommy Tuberville look like a class act. Seriously, I’m an awful person, and I deserve to get my ass kicked and sodomized by a gang of fugitives.

Okay, he didn’t say that, but it doesn’t mean it’s not true.

8:28: Yes sir! We’ve got the A team, Brennaman, Alvarez, and Davis! This is the crew that did the Fiesta Bowl, and if they do half the job they did that night, we are in good hands.

8:30: The coin toss just resembled a cross between an alzheimer's documentary and Sesame Street. Horrible!

8:32: All I just heard come from the big couch was, “Have you seen the Screech tape where he’s banging those chicks”, followed by three dudes staring at a laptop and saying, “Niiiice” in unison.

8:33: Bracey just arrived and rubbed his balls in my pizza. Bear in mind, I’m the youngest man in the room, and I’m 29.

8:34: Remember what I said about Ted Ginn making a big special teams play? Well, that didn’t take long. Suck on that Urban! And now, we are approximately three plays away from Chris Leak’s first turnover.

8:35: Well, we just learned how a kicker makes a tackle in the open field. That was the finest face mask I’ve ever seen.

8:39: It’s not often you get 7 dudes in a room, and all three announcers to agree that there was a bad spot, but we just saw it. These, of course, are Pac-10 refs, so anything is possible.

8:41: Hey, Tebow runs up the middle…shocking!

8:41:
“No, a camel toe is not a play!” That comment was just uttered, and I don’t even know what to say about that.

8:42: Dallas Baker the touchdown maker just caught a very Roethlisbergeresque touchdown from Leak. You know, the kind where he closes his eyes, tosses it up in the air, it barely escapes the reach of the corner who has 90 yards of green in front of him, and somehow ends up with a touchdown! This is going to be interesting.

8:43: Rick: Is Florida’s kicker the worst kicker in America?
Me: I’m pretty sure USC’s kicker is worse right now!

Yes, I’m going to hell.

8:46: Fisher astutely points out that Florida has found a very effective way to deal with the Ted Ginn problem…kick it to the white guy! Those are the things you won’t hear on t.v., but you should, because EVERYBODY in America just had the same thought.

8:47: Shalls just showed up to join the cast of characters. He is only 30 minutes late, which makes him half an hour early in his world.

8:48: From the big couch: “Carmen Electra doesn’t look like Tim Duncan!” I don’t know who said that, but I’m glad they cleared that up!

8:49: Did you know that Dave Navarro was bi-curious? Well, according to the big couch, he is!

8:51: Florida’s D just looked pretty solid on their first possession. In fact, Troy Smith appears well on his way to a Shane Falco in the Sugar Bowl performance.

8:53: We just had the first, “did somebody fart” inquiry of the night. The answer? What do you think?

8:58: Ohio State apparently decided to play this game without an offense or defense! Seriously, Urban Meyer’s gimmicky, bullshit, playstation offense is just shredding them.

8:59: Awesome! We have our first review of the night. Have I mentioned how much I loathe instant replay in college football? I have? Okay, just so we are clear.

9:01: What do you know, everybody in America looking at the replay can see that the UF kid didn’t cross the plane of the goal-line, but that is apparently not enough to overturn it. The percentage of calls that actually get overturned must be in single digits. Okay, this is the last day of the WAD, so this is the last time you will ever have to hear me say this: REPLAY HAS NO PLACE IN SPORTS!!!!! I feel better.

9:05: Uh-oh! If you have money on OSU (not that I would know anything about that), you really don’t like to see Ted Ginn, Jr. limping to the locker room with an injury. WTF???

9:08: Is it just me or is Troy Smith running in sand? He doesn’t look like he put on 15 lbs. on the banquet circuit, but he’s sure running like it.

9:10: Interception for the Heisman winner. The Buckeyes better get a hold on this thing in a hurry, or this could be over by halftime.

9:13: We are now five minutes into the annual, why don’t we have a playoff in college football debate? I never thought I’d say this, but I just don’t have the energy to argue any more.

9:15: Charles Davis just informed us that the Florida receivers call themselves “The Goonies”. I’m doing all I can to think of a joke here, but I just can’t think of anything that is funnier than what actually happened. I mean, clearly Baker, Caldwell, and the whole receiving crew were sitting in somebody’s dorm room, hitting the bong, and somebody said, “You know what man, this is us…we are the f*cking Goonies!” This is the ONLY way this could have possibly happened.

9:18: Here’s a gift from the big couch… www.urbancougar.com Good times.

9:20: The past two minutes of conversation simply cannot be repeated.

9:21: DeShawn Wynn just shoved it right down the Buckeyes throat for the Gators’ third touchdown, and then, he promptly had his balls stroked by an OSU defender. I’m not making this up. We watched it six times just to be sure. Weird.

9:24: Florida just got flagged for the first time tonight….Cheaters!!!

9:25: Fite is calling me, but I’ve got pizza to my left, my laptop in my lap, and a dip in my mouth…no chance I can answer the phone right now.

9:27: Antonio Pittman up the middle….YES SIRRRRR!!!! Game on. If you have under 46, you can go to bed right now.

9:29: We’ve now got the Georgetown/Villanova basketball game on the little big screen. We are 7 minutes into the second half, and I’m pretty sure one of the teams in the football game is going to crack 40 before either one of these two teams. Am I the only one that is seriously worried about the state of college basketball? I am? Okay, back to the football game...

9:36: We’ve just spent the past 7 minutes discussing whether you can grow real grass inside. I think we've finally decided on yes, so everybody can relax now.

9:42: I can’t even enjoy the Buckeyes’ first defensive stop of the evening, because I’m being tortured by this damn Dodge commercial featuring the transformers. Seriously, this is the 8th time we’ve seen it tonight.

9:43: 5 days, 22 hours, 16 minutes, and 7 seconds until the season premier of “24”.

9:45: Troy Smith officially looks like shit. Sure, it’s been five months since they played a game, but this is a little ridiculous.

9:47: We are in the midst of a detailed discussion about the drinking of horse semen in “Jackass II”. How jealous are you that you weren’t here?

9:48: Hey, it’s the f*cking transformers again! 9 and counting.

9:50: Let’s go ahead and be clear about this: If Tim Tebow is in the game, he is going to run the ball straight up the middle. It’s not rocket science Buckeyes.

9:55: Okay, the last three plays we finally saw the Chris Leak I’ve come to know and love, but it might be the Gators' night, because they got away with it.

9:56: Chris Hetland, Florida’s kicker, just emphatically told the world, “I’m better than that guy from USC, damn it!” 24 -14 Gators.

9:57: Transformers #10. Actually, Greg just informed us that it is actually the Rock ‘em, sock ‘em Robots. I wish I could say that it made the commercials any less annoying, but I can’t.
9:59: State of the game to this point: Total yards, UF – 229, OSU – 69.

10:00: Ohio State goes for it on their own 30, down 10, with 3:37 left in the first half, and they run it up the gut, apparently come up short, but the refs don’t even measure. I mean, he was probably short, but he wasn’t short enough not to measure. I’m sorry, but the fact that they didn’t even measure is OUTRAGEOUS!!!! Would the Pac-10 be better off if they just played call your own like on the playground? I don't see how that could be any worse than these guys.

10:02: If OSU holds UF to a field goal here, they just might win this game. Trust me.

10:05: Okay, they held them to the field goal, and we’ll get to put my prediction to the test!

10:08: Well, it looks like I’m going to fail the test. Of course, I didn’t count on Troy Smith pulling his Reggie Ball impersonation and turning the ball over again.

10:09: Tebow up the middle…shocking!

10:10: Tebow up the middle…boring!

10:10: The only positive thing about Tebow being involved in this game is that we had a reason to mention “Two-A-Days”. Remember that Tebow was the losing quarterback in the big Niece vs. Hoover showdown in the first episode last season. Don’t even act like you didn’t know that!

10:11:
Hey, Tebow throws for a touchdown. That’s awesome. So, now we know he can fall forward three yards, and he can throw a one yard pass. It’s hard not to see why this guy is considered the second coming in Gainesville!

10:16: Troy Smith throws a Hail Mary out of bounds. Thank God this half is over. Not to mention, I have the hiccups! The second half can’t be any worse, right?


10:42: Second half kickoff. On the bright side for the Buckeyes, Florida didn’t run it back for a touchdown.

10:43:
Chris Meyers just informed us that Ted Ginn is just now having his ankle x-rayed. I guess the first 26 minutes of the halftime weren’t enough time to take a picture of his freaking ankle.

10:45: Big hold for the Buckeyes, followed by Florida shanking one of their cutsy little roll out punts. I HATE Urban Meyer and all he stands for.

10:46: Rick and Fish are having a stimulating conversation about the kids they remember from their elementary school class in Ohio. We should have charged admission for this.

10:51: I’m bored.

10:54: Ted Ginn on crutches…now, I’m bored and depressed.

10:57: The Buckeyes just got the ball back, and there seems to be a consensus in this room, at least, that this game is going to get close.

10:59: Man, life has changed. We just spent the commercial break talking about what time we go to bed on a usual night, and what Fish’s son eats. I can feel myself getting older by the second.

11:01: Troy Smith is 3 of 9, with a pick and a fumble, and he's fallen at least two rounds in the NFL draft.

11:02: Now, we are talking about the bowel movements of Fish's son and Chandler's nephew. Does it get any better than this? Yup, this is now how we roll!

11:05: Ball just sent me a text message asking, “how many rounds has Troy Smith dropped tonight?” Well, four minutes ago I thought it was two, but now, it's at least 4. It's amazing how awful he looks tonight. I can't remember a performance this poor by a college quarterback not named Reggie Ball...EVER!!!

11:10:
I’m not even paying attention to the game anymore. We’ve spent the past five minutes arguing about whether Tikki is a Hall of Famer. Do I have to go through the stats again? Over the past five years, he ran himself into Canton. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

11:18: It’s 34 – 14 heading into the 4th quarter, and this has officially turned into one of the most boring bowl games of the season.

11:19: 5 days, 20 hours, 40 minutes, 01 second until the season premier of “24”.

11:22: Can we re-vote on the Heisman?

11:25: Rick just pointed out that “The ‘O’ Face Guy” is one of the dudes in that Allstate commercial where they wreck the car. Good to see he’s capitalized on his big break in “Office Space”.

11:30: Tim Tebow is a punk. No need to jump around and waive your arms after another run up the middle, chief.

11:34:
We’ve all officially stopped paying attention. Case in point, Rick just screamed “Go For It”. This wouldn't be so bad if it was fourth down, but since it's third down, it's a little startling.

11:37: Okay, it’s over! I’m officially quitting the diary and this game. The sight of Urban Meyer succeeding and Jim Tressel failing is too much for me to take. Just further proof that good things do happen to bad people!

11:54: Okay, I lied, I'm not done yet. As if you needed more evidence that Urban Meyer is a HUGE dick, they just threw for a first down on fourth down, up 27 with 3 minutes left in the game. Let’s just hope that comes back to haunt him one day!


Well, that's it. After 15 months, 342 posts, 2 different sites, and countless laughs...it's all over. I wish tonight's game had been more exciting, but there wasn't much we could do about that. On the bright side, for one last time, the WAD provided a great excuse to get together with some of my best friends, watch a game, crack jokes, and bust each other's balls. And, at the end of the day, isn't that what this whole experience was all about? Thanks again to all of you for making this a truly amazing experience. When it all started, I never imagined it would last 15 months, and now, I'm very proud that it has. And, even though I have no intention of making a comeback, Stats has set the over/under at 4.5 months. If he's right, you guys will be the first to know.

Good luck, God Bless, and thanks for the memories!

Monday, January 08, 2007

Pass the Corn Chips, Please!

First things first this morning: Everybody’s lock of the week will involve tonight’s game. You must pick the spread (Ohio State -7.5) and the over/under (46). I need you to email it to me or Fish by 6 P.M. tonight, so we can have time to post it before the game.

Now, before discussing tonight’s showdown between the Gators and the Buckeyes, I have just three things to say about this weekend’s Wild Card games:

1) The Colts managed to win easily with Peyton Manning throwing three picks. I’m not exactly sure what that means, but I have to think that’s a good sign for Tony Dungy. I mean, it’s got to happen sooner or later, right?

2) As for the other Manning, well, let’s just say that I’m a little more than worried about the post-Tikki era for Eli. If not for Plaxico being an absolute athletic freak, I’m not sure Eli would have completed a pass over two yards yesterday. And, if it hadn’t been for Tikki’s legendary will, they would have been blown right out of the stadium. In other words, I’m not expecting big things from the G-men in the ’07 – ’08 season!

3) My hatred for Joe Buck and Troy Aikman has taken on a life of its own. Actually, it’s gotten so bad that I can’t even discuss it rationally anymore. The fact of the matter is that I’ve never heard two more arrogant guys than these two. It’s outrageous to listen to them. In fact, I’ve now sworn that I will mute Joe Buck every time he is on T.V. He needs to be removed from television…NOW!!!!

And now, for the first ever Tostitos BCS Championship Game:

There was a time not too long ago that I would have looked at this game and seen no way that Ohio State could ever beat Florida, because there was a time not too long ago that the difference in speed between top SEC and Big 10 teams was just too great for the Big 10 to overcome. Now, with guys like Troy Smith, Ted Ginn, Jr., Antonio Pittman, Chris Wells, Anthony Gonzalez, Brian Robiskie, Vernon Gholston, and Roy Hall it’s hard to argue that the Big 10 Champ doesn’t have the speed and athleticism to matchup with anybody. Also, to the casual fan, and even to the uneducated ESPN analyst, of which there seem to be many, this game, at first glance, would figure to be a great matchup of OSU’s staunch defense against Urban Meyer and the Gator’s explosive offense. The facts, however, tell a much different story. More specifically, it’s the Buckeyes, with their 36.3 points/game and 410 yards a game that boast the more explosive offense (Florida only averages 29 points/game and 398 yards/game). Not to mention, the Buckeyes also boast the better defense, only giving up 10.4 points/game compared to Florida’s 13.5 points/game. And, oh by the way, Ohio State also has the Heisman trophy winner under center and one of the best game coaches in America on the sideline (and, the only one of the two head coaches with any class whatsoever).

All that being said, it should be pretty clear that I think this is a mis-match in every possible way. I think Chris Leak will turn the ball over no less than three times, Ted Ginn, Jr. will make no less than four big plays (3 on offense and 1 on special teams), and Urban Meyer’s cute little bullshit offense won’t get out the starting blocks. In the end, I think the Buckeyes win this game 37 – 7. So, that’s how I feel about this game. Now, considering my prognosticating record this season (an abysmal 44%), let’s look at what is really going to happen:

1) Ohio State is going to be rusty after their 51 day lay off, and Troy Smith will be slowed down by the 15 extra pounds he put on during the banquet circuit, his timing will be off, and he will throw a couple of bad picks in the first half;

2) Ohio State will have spent nearly two months scheming to shutdown Meyer’s bullshit offense, but he will have suddenly grown some common sense, line up with a fullback and run the ball straight down OSU’s throat;

3) Florida will have a huge chip on their shoulder because they are feeling “disrespected”, and they will play with a reckless abandon, and before OSU knows what hits them, they will be down 21 points; and

4) OSU will rally in the second half, but they will come up just short and Florida will be crowned national champions!

Why, you ask, am I expecting the clearly inferior team to pull off the upset and triumph over the team that is clearly the best team in America and deserves to be National Champions? Well, that’s simple: With the exception of the Pats yersterday, no team I’ve rooted for in the past two months has won a game. Therefore, I have officially become the human kiss of death, and it would behoove Jim Tressell to wire me a boat load of money to not root for his Buckeyes tonight. No matter what the outcome, don’t forget to check in tomorrow for The WAD’s swan song, a running diary of tonight’s game!

Friday, January 05, 2007

Wild Card Weekend

SATURDAY

1) Indy -7 vs. K.C. - I’ve got to admit that when I first saw this matchup, only one thing came to mind: Larry Johnson might run for 250 yards! And, of course, that led me to not only think that the Chiefs would beat the spread, but that they would also win the game. Then, for the first time all season, I actually sat down and took the time to research a matchup before going off and making a bold prediction. Truth is, I used to believe that doing too much research ended up complicating things and leading me to overthink matchups. Well, after a season of no research and embarassing results, I figure it’s time to go back to the old way. Not that it was good, but it was better than 71-86-6. So, what does the research tell me about the Colts and Chiefs? First of all, that deplorable run defense of the Colts hasn’t been that bad at home. For the season the Colts are giving up 173 yards/game on the ground, but only 146.3 yards/game at home. Still not good, but better. Now, consider the fact that at home the Colts have averaged 261 yards through the air and 29.6 points/game. In turn, the Chiefs have given up 216 yards/game through the air on the road, and they have have averaged less than 17 points on the road. What does all this mean? Well, it would appear that at home the Colts offense is awesome, and their defense isn’t horrible. And, at the same time, on the road, the Chiefs pass defense is bad and their offense isn’t so hot either. Couple that with the fact that this is the one year that people aren’t expecting big things from Peyton Manning and the Colts in the playoffs, and I just feel like they are going to explode on Saturday. I’m looking for the Colts to put up 40+, so you might as well take Over 51 as well.

2) Dallas +3 @ Seattle - Seattle has big problems in their secondary with three key injuries, and Tony Romo kind of sucks, but Terry Glenn and T.O. will probably have a field day. Even though they have been struggling recently, the Cowboys have still been averaging over 25 points/game in the last three games. The problem, however, is that they have been giving up 30 over the same time. So, the question becomes: can the Cowboys stop the Seahawks? Well, take it from a man that watched Matt Hasselback cost him a fantasy football championship, the answer is “yes”. Take the Cowboys on the money line.


SUNDAY

1) NYJ +8.5 @ New England – I’m so paranoid that the Jets are actually going to win this game that I can’t even talk about it rationally. Seriously, is this possible? I mean, it is Belichick, Brady, and the Pats, right? Well, the way my sports life is going right now, you should put the house on the Jets and the money line.

2) Philly -7 vs. NYG - You only need to know two things about this game: 1) Philly averages 282 yards/game passing at home, and the Giants AVERAGE giving up 269 yards/game passing on the road; and 2) I’m cheering for the Giants. Given those two facts, wager on the Giants at your own extreme risk.

By the way, some of you may be scratching your heads and saying, “how in the world does he actually think two road dogs are going to win outright in the playoffs?” Well, here’s a little fact you might find handy: Over the past two years, the home teams are 2-6 in the Wild Card round. So much for home cooking!

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Where do we go from here?

Gentlemen,

Time to put on your thinking caps. Today's question is...

WHAT DO WE CALL THE NEXT BLOG???

When the WAD decides to roll off into the sunset we'll still need a place to waste time at work. Now is your chance to give it a name.


Have a nice day,
Fite

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Thank You

In my life, I have found that it really is true that all good things eventually must come to an end. Whether it be your adolescence, high school, college, law school/graduate school, your first real job, the first year of marriage when your wife still lets you touch her…whatever times of your life you identify as the good times do, unfortunately, always come to an end. And, it’s with very mixed emotions that I am announcing today that the end has arrived for what I will always remember as a truly great time in my life. That’s right folks, it’s been a great 15 month run, but the time has come for me to put an end to the WAD. My plan is to write an NFL Playoff preview for Friday, a National Championship Game Preview for Monday, and bring things to a close next Tuesday by publishing a running diary of the National Championship Game. After all, the running diary of last year’s Rose Bowl between Texas and USC was the most fun I’ve ever had writing an article for the WAD (in no small part because Ball and Hans were at their comedic apexes that night), so I figure it makes sense to give it one more shot before packing things up.

If you will indulge me, I do want to take a moment to make a few things very clear to all of you. First of all, I cannot say thank you enough to those of you who have taken the time to read my rambling and incoherent thoughts on a nearly daily basis over the past 15 months. When I started doing this, I was honestly hoping that this would simply provide me with a creative outlet to relieve some stress from time to time. But, because so many of you were so receptive to and supportive of what I was doing, the WAD became much more than an “outlet” for me. Honestly, the WAD has become much more than I could have ever hoped for. It’s been a place where I could share with the world my thoughts on sports, t.v., movies, gambling, and even Mexican restaurants! More importantly, however, it’s become a place where I could communicate with many of my closest friends and some completely perfect strangers. Believe it or not, the WAD has served as a vehicle to strengthen many existing friendships, and as a vehicle to develop friendships with a few folks that I had never known before the WAD. And, I can’t begin to tell you what a great conversation piece the WAD has been, especially with the ladies. Seriously, you tell a chick you’ve got a blog, and she starts undressing herself at the dinner table. It’s really amazing. Okay, so that last part about the naughty chicks isn’t true, but it should be!

I don’t want to pull a Brett Favre and over dramatize the situation, but I will just say that it has been a great run and I’m going to miss this. I feel very lucky to have written and shared so much with you all and received so much in return. I’m eternally grateful to Robbie Fisher for pushing me to start the WAD and for all his technical work on the blog. Without Fisher, none of this would have ever happened. Also, I have to say a big thanks to Hans for putting up with me laying on the couch and typing at all hours of the night and constantly running language by him to get his thoughts. I’m sure that he is looking forward to being able to watch television without the sounds of me banging the keyboard in the background. And to everybody else, especially Fite, Stats, and Andy “Huge” Smith, thanks for all the comments and great comedy. You guys were the stars of this show, and this day would have come a lot sooner if ya’ll hadn’t continued to push me forward with your extensive comments and your emails with all the great column ideas and general suggestions.

I feel that I must tell you that I haven’t come to this decision lightly. I have been considering and struggling with this for a couple of months now, and I finally decided that the end of the college football season seemed like the logical time to pull the plug. The fact is that for the first 9 or 10 months, the ideas just seemed to flow, and I truly got a rush out of writing every article. Over the past five months or so, however, the ideas have become tougher to come by, and as a result, the columns became less frequent, and honestly, the quality over the past few months hasn’t been what I would like. Coupling that with the fact that I am now staring down the barrel of my 30th birthday in eleven and a half months, and I feel a great sense of urgency to accomplish several personal and professional goals in 2007. Unfortunately, to do so, I feel that I must cut some things out of my life and add some others. And, at the end of the day, the best thing for me is to close the curtain on the WAD.

All that being said, I think we’ve developed a really great camaraderie among the readers, as well as a great place to share youtube clips, hilarious athlete and celebrity quotes, wise and not so wise gambling advice, and lots of other things that help distract us from the realities of our jobs and lives, and I would really like to see this continue. Therefore, I’m issuing one last challenge to the WAD Nation: Somebody needs to set up a site where we can all still go to talk smack and share comedy with one another. What I envision is a place where everybody has access to the username and password and can post at will. You could have unlimited posts in a day from a multitude of guys. So, what you would have is basically a message board for the WAD Nation, and I wouldn’t have the stress of having to come up with articles or the responsibility of monitoring the comments and posts. Not that I’ve given it any thought, but you could call it something like sonsofthewad.com…or not, whatever you think is best! Actually, I don’t care what you call it, but I’d love to see somebody take the initiative and set it up. I’m not volunteering for this duty, but I sure hope somebody does.

Okay, I think I’ve dragged this on long enough. Most of you probably stopped reading 300 words ago, but for those of you that didn’t, let me just again say the sincerest possible thank you for the past 15 months. Even though we never grew to a huge readership, I can’t tell you how gratifying and humbling it is to know that all you guys were reading, commenting, and supporting me this whole time. It’s been more than fun...it’s been a life experience, and I owe it all to you.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

New Year's Musings

I don’t even know where to begin in trying to describe how I felt yesterday watching Taylor Bennett look like an All American against West Virginia. Sure, the Jackets lost the game, but that wasn’t the worst part of the day. The worst part was realizing that we would have won 11 games this year with ANY quarterback that could see over the line of scrimmage and didn’t overthrow every deep ball by ten yards. I repeat, ANY quarterback! I refuse to beat myself up over it, so I’m going to just move on. After all, there is plenty of other stuff to talk about on the first work day of the new year. Well, at least it’s a work day for all of us that don’t work for the federal and state governments that get the day off because a 93 year old man that was never elected to the Executive Branch died. Oh well, we can’t all be as lucky as Fite, although he would probably trade his day off for a different ending to last night’s Fiesta Bowl. Actually, I don't want to underestimate Fite's laziness, so I won't make that assumption. At any rate, here's some musings to kick off the New Year:

  • Speaking of said Fiesta Bowl, all I can say is WOW!!! The game itself wasn’t that great. It was riddled with penalties and turnovers, but the final two minutes of regulation and the overtime were simply scintillating. The guts OU showed to come back and tie the game, the guts Zambransky showed to overcome the pick six and lead his team down for the tying touchdown with :7 left, the staggering creativity of Boise’s offensive play calling from the last play of regulation to the two point conversion in overtime, and the explosiveness of AD on his OT touchdown run, made that quite possibly the most remarkable ending to a football game I’ve ever seen. We’ve seen great finishes, and we’ve seen big upsets, but I don’t think we’ve ever seen such a series of so many amazing and improbable events to finish a football game. Then, to cap it off, Ian Thompson drops to one knee after the game to propose to his girlfriend on national television. I was so caught up in the moment that it almost didn’t make me nauseas…almost. What a football game! God, I love bowl games! And, by the way, the over/under on Chris Peterson’s days at Boise State is 4, and I’m loving the under. It’s good to be Chris Peterson and Chris Peterson’s agent right about now.

  • Nice job making your case Michigan. Real nice. In all sincerity, I don’t even want to hear anybody try to tell me that Michigan’s failure to show up yesterday validates their exclusion from the National Championship Game. Here’s the deal, the Wolverines just didn’t show up. After what happened to them, they couldn’t emotionally get up for the game. Is that excusable? Of course not. It’s embarrassing for them. But, it doesn’t for one second mean that on the first Saturday in December, based on all the empirical evidence in front of the voters, that they weren’t the second best team in America at that time. And, for the last time, let me remind everybody that the stated purpose of the BCS is to put the best two teams in America at the end of the regular season against one another for the national championship. So, yes, despite the Rose Bowl debacle, I still believe that Michigan proved itself to be the second best team in America on the first Saturday and December; therefore, they were more deserving than Florida for a crack at Ohio State on January 8th. That’s it and that’s all, and I won’t say another word about it.

  • Nobody has been a bigger skeptic about the one network that doesn’t carry a SINGLE regular season college football game carrying the BCS than me. That being said, I have to admit that Tom Brennaman was outstanding doing play by play last night. I guess it shouldn’t be a surprise, because he is possibly the best baseball announcer in America, but the thought of him doing football seemed strange to me. Thankfully, it wasn’t. He was great. Barry Alavarez and Charles White were awkward at times, but mostly enjoyable if not terribly insightful. And, the combination of Switzer and Jimmy Johnson as studio analysts was tremendous to see. This is a dream pairing for me as I will explain in just a minute. So, at the end of the day, although it wasn’t perfect, I’m no longer upset about Fox carrying the BCS. But, so help me God, if I have to listen to Joe Buck and Troy Aikman do one college football game, I’m going to vomit all over myself.

  • I have real mixed emotions about the Jim Mora firing. Admittedly, I’ve never been a fan of Mora. I’ve always felt he was to rah-rah for the pro game, and quite frankly, was too immature to be a head coach. Plus, he strikes me as the kind of guy that would come to your house to watch a game and spend the whole time telling you why it would be cooler to watch the game at his house. In short, I didn’t like him much as a coach and I don’t think there is much chance I would like him as a person. So, am I upset he got canned? Nope. Am I worried that he got canned but Arthur Blank doesn’t have a plan to replace him? Absolutely. I’m a firm believer in the fact that you don’t fire a coach unless you’ve got the next guy already lined up, and by all accounts, it doesn’t appear that the Falcons have that guy lined up. And, let me just say that if I hear the names Denny Green, Mike Martz, or Jim Haslett associated with this job in the next few days, I’m going to lose my shit. I don’t want an NFL re-tread. I want a fresh face like a Ralph Friedgen, Charlie Weiss, Ken Whisenhunt, Bob Stoops, or in a perfect world, Mark Richt. I mean, what could be better than the Falcons getting a great coach and UGA losing one? I can’t think of a thing!

  • Speaking of NFL coaching vacancies, unbelievably, it looks like there might actually be one in Miami. I’m simply speechless at the fact that Alabama appears to be putting as much as $50 million on the table over 10 years for Nick Saban. Part of me thinks it’s ridiculous for a school to pay a guy over $1 million more than any other school is paying their coach, but another part of me has a lot of respect for Mal Moore and the BSD (big swinging dick) Tide boosters that appear to have said, “f*ck it. We are tired of being mediocre, and we want to be back in our rightful place in the college football hierarchy no matter what it costs.” And, if they get Saban, it won’t take long for them to be right back in the mix of the SEC and national title hunts. Simply remarkable what they are doing. I don’t know if they are setting a good or bad example in the world of “scholastic athletics”, but as a fan of people that will do anything to win, I’m in favor of it. Then again, I am the guy that thinks Barry Switzer and Jimmy Johnson should be the model for any coach running a college football program.

  • Has there ever been a more compelling Wild Card Weekend than what we are in store for this coming weekend? I mean, when you match up the Pats and Jets, the Chiefs and Colts, the Giants and Eagles, and the Cowboys and the defending NFC Champion Seahawks, you’ve got some seriously intense match-ups on your hands. Then, you follow that up with the National Championship game on Monday Night? Are you kidding me? What a phenomenal three days of football we have to look forward to!

  • By the way, I’m starting a new business. From this point forward, I will be offering my services to all college and professional football coaches. Here’s how the business plan works: If the coach pays me enough money, I will promise to root for their opponent in any particular game. This, of course, will guaranty the coach and his team victory. Hey, I figure I can let the fact that every team I root for always loses kill me slowly and painfully, or I can profit off it. Really, it’s a no brainer.

  • Did you catch Brett Favre breaking down in tears after Sunday night’s game? Honestly, that was the most uncomfortable crying scene since Stallone crying over Mickey’s dead body in the locker room in Rocky III. In other words, Favre’s tears were as believable as Sly’s. I love Favre, but you have to be an idiot to think that this guy doesn’t just eat up every second he is on t.v. or somebody on t.v. is talking about him. For the love of God, just please bow out gracefully Brett. Don’t make me beg or I might start crying!

  • Less than two weeks till the season premier of “24”. To be more specific, it’s 12 days, 20 hours, 11 minutes, and 20 seconds from the moment I’m typing this. Not that I’m excited or slightly obsessed.

  • Finally, just a heads up that tomorrow is going to be a pretty important article on the WAD. I’ve got some big news to share about the future of the WAD in 2007, so I would encourage you to check in. How’s that for a tease?