Friday, December 15, 2006

Turning the Bus Around

It’s hard to believe that it has taken all season, but here we are, we are finally here. Where, you ask? Well, we have finally arrived at that point in the season where we turn the bus around. That’s right, after a season chalked full of losing, I’m going all John Anthony this weekend and running the board. Okay, that’s probably not going to happen, but it’s the season for miracles, so you never know. Here we go:

1) Atlanta +3 vs. Dallas - It’s now or never for Jim Mora and the Falcons. Hell, it’s now or never for Mike Vick. This is the biggest game on the biggest stage since the NFC Championship Game in Philly. Well, we all know how that turned out. Why is this going to be different? Well, for one, it’s inside on turf. For another, if last week is any indication, the Falcons’ receivers actually CAN catch the ball. And, finally, this Tony Romo crap has to come to an end, right? Oh, and one more thing…you need to be damn near suicidal to go against a home dog in a meaningful NFL game.

2) Baltimore -11 vs. Cleveland - Good team/bad team, and the good team is at home. And, yes, I did just throw up a little in my mouth when I referred to Baltimore as a good team. Sometimes I really hate the modern NFL.

3) Green Bay -5 vs. Detroit - Why would you ever bet on the Lions? Really, give me one reason.

4) New England -11 vs. Houston - Sure, the Pats got blanked last week, but they always struggle against the Fins. Not to mention, this is the Reggie Bush-less, Vince Young-less Houston Freaking Texans going into to Foxboro in December. I can’t think of anything else to tell you.

5) Tennessee +3.5 vs. Jacksonville - Vince Young wins football games. Forget the points, take the money line.

6) Buffalo -1 vs. Miami - Hey, I’m just as happy for Joey Harrington as any one. Well, that’s not really true. I couldn’t care less about Joey Harrington, but he has been playing well, and the Dolphins have looked great over the past 7 weeks. All that being said, this is still the Dolphins going to Buffalo in December.

7) Minnesota -3 vs. N.Y.J. - I hate the Jets.

8) Pittsburgh @ Carolina UNDER…..hell, the thought of Weinke vs. Roethlisberger was enough to scare Vegas away from even setting an over/under on this game, and now everybody but Pinnacle has taken the game off the board all together. Here’s two pieces of advice: 1) When Vegas wants no part of a game, stay far away; and 2) If given the choice of watching this game or hanging yourself with your shoelaces, good luck with that decision.

9) Chicago -13.5 vs. Tampa - The Bucs lost to the Falcons by 11 at home, so I’m pretty comfortable laying the points against them in Chicago in December.

10) New Orleans -10 vs. Washington - This just in…New Orleans is AWESOME. I know, I’m just as surprised as you are.

11) Arizona +3 vs. Denver - I’ll take the guy from SC over the guy from Vandy seven days a week and twice on Sunday.

12) NYG -5.5 vs. Philly - You know how I feel about the Giants, and you certainly know how I feel about Philly (although, I do enjoy when they win when D.F.M. is on the bench), so there is no way you can expect me to discuss this game rationally.

13) St. Louis +2 @ Oakland - There is simply NO way I could ever take the Raiders laying points…NO WAY!!!

14) San Diego -9 vs. K.C. - I’m already printing the San Diego vs. New Orleans Super Bowl XLI t-shirts.

15) Cincy +3.5 @ Indy - two teams headed in two different directions. Rudi Johnson may rush for 250 yards! Hell, the Bengals might have 600 yards total offense. Wait a minute, what am I doing here? Let’s make it a parlay….

16) Cincy @ Indy OVER 54.5 - Merry Christmas!