Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Now Batting for the WAD....Stats

Stats sent me this tremendous email yesterday with all his thoughts on the weekend, and I found it much more entertaining than anything I had to say. So, with his permission, I'm now sharing the weekend and monday night musings of Stats with the WAD Nation:


1) The Saints win a game in Dallas and dump the Gatorade bucket on Coach Payton. A little much for just a regular season game, perhaps? It's like GT fans storming the field and tearing down the goalposts with any victory over a top 15 opponent. By the way, am I the only one that catches sh*t from non-GT fans for this? We beat UConn and I get three calls asking if we rushed the field and tore down the goalposts. Dicks.


2) A weekend without college football completely sucked. Well, I guess we didn't have to watch Reggie Ball f*ck up much, if you're a glass half empty kind of guy.


3) Now that I am just bombing away on Tech, might as well keep rolling with it. What the hell does Hewitt do at practice? "Ok, guys, take these balls and just shoot around and stuff, I'm going to go read a newspaper in the corner and maybe go to the Cheetah for a few dances if you need me." I've never seen so much chaos. Do we have a plan at all? Is Rumsfield in charge (there ya go Shalloway).


4) When did Maurice Jones-Drew become a Pro Bowl caliber back? Also, when did he add "Jones-" to his name? What's up with UCLA players changing their names? Sharman Shah became Karim Abdul-Jabbar, now this? Do they all want to be like Lew Alcindor? Shoulda changed his name to Maurice Geones Drew, so he could be "MGD". We all knew he was good, he even got a few mentions on the Wad while at UCLA, but if they had set the total at 5 tds all season, I'd have taken the under. The fat Earl Boykins of the NFL has 12 so far.


5) The Wad always talks about entertainment, so I'm going to give it a shot.
TBS has been showing "Mean Girls" all weekend. Lindsay Lohan might be a little psycho, but she is incredibly hot in this movie. I would definitely eat the peanuts out of her - well, you get the point. Hot teenage girl movies always makes great television at 1 am, especially if you got a lock on your door.


6) Robbie Gould just missed a 37 yd FG. The odds that he goes into a Vanderjagt-esque downward spiral are at 2:1.


7) NHL is a month or so into the season and I couldn't tell you a single thing about anything whatsoever. I think Buffalo won their first 10 games or something. Seriously, that's the best I can do. C'mon, Thrasher fans, let your voice be heard!


8) So AI is off the 76ers and looking for a trade. Why haven't the Knicks pulled the trigger yet? They still have room in their backcourt, right?


9) Idiot athlete of the week award goes to.... whoever the DB was that tried to intercept Romo's 4th down pass only to have it deflect into TO's hands for a TD that was a very meaningful score and momentum shift at the time.


10) If I were a NFL coach, my players would only really know 2 things - don't catch the punt inside your own 10, and knock down the pass on 4th instead of going for the pick. You could be Leon Lett on every other play, but either of those and the next time you suit up it will be for the night shift at Waffle House.


11) The Wad nation is going to start a "put in Bledsoe" campaign. If the Wad intends on becoming a true "media outlet", we must never miss the chance to be obnoxiously fickle. The Romo bandwagon is so last week, Jessica Simpson probably already dumped his ass for Mo Jones Drew, and we all know in 5 years no one will remember him.


12) Reggie Bush's 60 yard scamper was amazing. Seriously, the player that came closest to stopping him was the o-lineman blocking downfield. Houston fans can once again be put on suicide watch. Do you think Houston passed on Bush because they knew Petersen would be available this year? Or maybe to get Calvin Johnson to make a Johnson & Johnson WR corps? Neither do I, but I'd be claiming that was the plan all along if I were in charge. How's Mario Williams doing? Sorry, but I've never seen the Houston Texans actually play, they must be on the NFL network or something.


13) I really, really, really hope the conference championships come down to the Bears and Saints, Colts and Chargers. Say the unstoppable force (Saints) beats the immovable object (Bears) and Peyton does the usual Peyton in a big game. If the Bolts and Saints met in the Super Bowl the pregame hype would be ridiculous. Brees against his former team, Tomlinson versus Bush, and the Saints post-Katrina would blow up the ratings off the charts.
By the way, (the Artist formerly known as) Prince is performing at halftime. Don't think he's going to be performing "Get Off".


14) Gould is about to attempt one from 53 now. Nevermind, the Bears punted.
Indoors? All faith is lost. Odds at 1:2 now.


15) Congratulations to Calvin Johnson for deservedly winning the Bilitnikoff award. I watched the replay of his presentation on youtube, and the instant Chris Fowler started acting all serious, I knew one of 2 things were coming. Either the NFL or Reggie question. And just to rub in how bad Reggie sucked, he went with the latter. I mean this kid stands on the cusp of Sunday stardom, but it's more important to the media to lay into Mr. 47% some more. The only question was how the assault on Reggie Ball would be worded, and it came out, "wouldn't it have been nice to get the ball more?". Way not to throw Reggie under the bus, Calvin, you have far more class than I do. If it had been me up there, let's just say it would have been a classic rant that even Jim Mora would be proud of.


16) Can the Bears really be a Superbowl contender if their best offense is the punt/kick returner? With the frequency Devin Hester is taking it to the house, obviously so.


17) I wish everyone a great week prior to bowl season. I for one am not very excited. I could give a sh*t about the Florida - Ohio State game and the others (though I am fired up for the ASU-Hawaii game, love the over!). Tech not in the Orange Bowl is depressing enough, and bowl season to me is like leaving Las Vegas. Getting the cab, going to the airport, dropping a few bucks in the sh*tty machines and at the bar, and the plane ride home might offer a few laughs, but it isn't the same, and you know it's the end of good times.


18) I just had a revelation that makes things a little better. At least next time this year Reggie Ball will not be our QB. I can't wait until 2007 season kicks off.