Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Thanksgiving Feast of Football Picks

Since it’s the day before Thanksgiving, I’m pretty sure nobody is going to be reading today. Therefore, I won’t waste your time with any introductions or pleasantries. Here’s the picks:

COLLEGE

1) Miami +4 vs. BC - Let’s win one for the Coker!

2) A&M +13 @ Texas – too many points in a rivalry game, especially when you consider that K. State just kicked Texas’ ass.

3) Arkansas PICK vs. LSU - Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy….PIG… .GO HOGS!

4) Tulsa -16 vs. Tulane - Tulane is HORRIBLE.

5) Colorado +14.5 @ Nebraska

6) Oregon St. -3 vs. Oregon - Anybody else find it weird that two teams from Oregon play “The Civil War”. Seems like a little too much for a game that nobody outside of Corvallis or Eugene really cares about.

7) UConn +3.5 vs. Cincinnati - You can spell letdown B-E-A-R-C-A-T-S.

8) Florida -9.5 @ FSU - If I thought FSU had any pride I’d jump all over these points, but they don’t. It’s over in Tallahassee. And, I’m not losing any sleep over that.

9) UNC -7 @ Duke - Carolina is playing better since the firing of Bunting, and Duke sucks. That’s the kind of keen analysis you can’t find anyplace except the WAD.

10) Clemson -5 vs. South Carolina - Clemson runs for 300 yards in this one.

11) Va. Tech -17 vs. UVA – Va. Tech has played as well as anybody in the country over the past six weeks, and don’t be fooled by UVA’s win over a Miami team that embarrasses itself every time it steps on the field (yes, I realize I picked Miami to win this week), UVA is atrocious. I think Va. Tech puts up a HUGE win this weekend and cruises into a nice bowl and another 10 win season.

12) WVU -20.5 vs. S. Florida – One last chance to impress the voters.

13) Kansas +7 @ Missouri - I have nothing to say here…it just looks good to me.

14) UCF -2.5 vs. UAB – George O’Leary doesn’t go 3-9.

15) Oklahoma -6 @ OSU - Two words: Bob Stoops. Bet against him at your own risk.

16) Georgia Tech +2 @ UGA - I can’t talk rationally about this game. But, I will say this: If we lose this game, I couldn’t care less about what happens next week in Jacksonville. Hell, if we win this game, I couldn't care less about what happens next week in Jacksonville. Chan Gailey MUST beat UGA, end of story. The season is defined by this game.

17) Arizona -3.5 vs. ASU - Hey, Mike Stoops has the same DNA as Bob Stoops. That’s got to mean something.

18) East Carolina +3 @ N.C. State - What better way for the Chest to go out than another embarrassing home loss!

19) Maryland -1.5 vs. Wake - What a showdown game! After Miami beats BC, this one will be for the right to face Georgia Tech in the ACC Championship game. Somebody please remove all the sharp objects from John Swofford’s (ACC Commissioner) office.

20) N.D. +7 @ USC - I’ve just got a bad feeling about this one. All I’m saying is we need to have the riot police in Ann Arbor on full alert.

21) Hawaii vs. Purdue OVER 75 - This one is for Stats. Go Rainbow Warriors!


NFL

1) Detroit +3 vs. Miami - Hey, it’s the Lions on Thanksgiving…it’s tradition to lose money betting on them.

2) Dallas -11 vs. Tampa - First, Tony Romo gets the starting job. Now, he’s getting to know Jessica Simpson in the Biblical sense. No way I’m betting against him!

3) K.C. -1 vs. Denver - This should be a great game to watch for all 177 people that actually get the NFL Network. Putting games on the NFL Network is a total I’m Keith Hernandez move by the NFL. You don’t have the NFL Network? Tough shit. Go get it. Way to put the fans first Tags!

4) Arizona +6.5 @ Minn. - I’m sick of picking the Vikes and losing.

5) Carolina -4 @ Washington - I hate picking against home dogs except, of course, when they have clearly already begun their offseason.

6) Cincy -3 @ Cleveland - I hate picking against home dogs except, of course, when Ocho Cinco is involved.

7) Houston +6 @ N.Y.J. - I hate the Jets.

8) Jacksonville -3 @ Buffalo - I hate picking against home dogs except, of course, when J.P. Losman is involved and the coach of the favorite wears a suit on the sideline.

9) Atlanta -3 vs. N.O. - This is a MUST win for the Falcons. On the bright side, if they lose, at least we can hear Jim Mora talk about how we are going to keep fighting and how great it is to have your back to the wall. He’s a tool and a terrible coach. I said it.

10) Pittsburgh +3 @ Baltimore - The Steelers are looking a little frisky these days, and there is just no way this Ravens team can possibly go 9-2, right?

11) San Diego -13.5 vs. Oakland - L.T. might shatter ever fantasy football record this weekend.

12) New England -3 vs. Chicago - Who did the Bears piss off to have three straight road games in New York and Boston in November? When you looked at this stretch, at NYG, at NYJ, and NE, you would have said that 2-1 would have been realistic, but 3-0 nearly impossible. Well, the Bears are 2-0 so far. I’m not betting on the nearly impossible.

13) NYG -3 @ Tenn - I hate picking against home dogs except, of course, when the favorite has 7 of its best 12 players out due to injury. I’m a screwed up dude.

14) Indy -9 vs. Philly (LOCK OF THE WEEK) - Indy at home, coming off its first loss, playing against the 2006 version of Jeff Garcia! If this was the 2003 version of Jeff Garcia, I might feel differently, but as it stands, I think this is the most absurdly out of whack line I’ve seen all season. So, of course, you should probably take Philly and the points.


Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. If you are traveling, I wish you safe travels. If you are flying, I wish you great patience. The estimates are that 5 million people will be flying this Holiday, and 1.7 million of them will be passing through Hartsfield. Sounds like Hell on Earth to me!