Monday, September 25, 2006

Re: Hasselback

So I turn on my computer this morning, open my Outlook and 10 emails with "Re: Hasselback" come flying across...the odd thing was they were all from the same source, The WAD. I felt there was enough comedy in his messages/ramblings that they needed to be posted as there is noone else that I know that could have a conversation like this with themselves. Happy Monday!

-fisher


----- Original Message -----
From: The WAD
Sent: Sun Sep 24 18:38:35 2006
Subject: Hasselback
I benched him this week for Alex smith! Would somebody please never allow me to touch my fantasy roster again. It only makes it worse that I am watching him have a record breaking fantasy day while I am sitting in the freaking airport waiting to fly to the middle of nowhere Louisiana. How could this day get any worse? Actually, don't answer that. And, by the way, I officially fell completely off the no gambling wagon yesterday. What two games did I load up on you ask? That's right...Penn state and west Virginia! Just tell me this... If I had bet on Ohio state is there ANY way they get two pick sixes in the last four minutes for a miraculous cover? Of course not! Just like if had played hasselback he would have thrown for 76 yards, no touchdowns, and 4 picks! I've never met anybody with luck half as bad as mine. Now, I have to get on a comair plane in a thunderstorm. You can't make this stuff up.

----- Original Message -----
From: The WAD
Sent: Sun Sep 24 18:50:31 2006
Subject: Re: Hasselback
And, right on cue, they just announced for the first time that my flight, originally scheduled to take off at 7:10, is now delayed for...you guessed it, 15 minutes. Now, you and I both know that there is no way this flight is taking off only 15 minutes late. That's just what they tell you to keep you calm. I don't know about you, but I think I would hav a lot easier time dealing with one announcement of a three hour delay than 12 announcements of 15 minute delays! Airlines are the worst run companies in America. I don't think the government could do a worse job running them!

----- Original Message -----
From: The WAD
Sent: Sun Sep 24 19:01:20 2006
Subject: Re: Hasselback
That a not hasselback! Only two more pick sixes and I won't feel too bad about leaving 5 touchdowns on the bench! Seriously, who benches their second round pick in week 3? I'm an idiot.

----- Original Message -----
From: The WAD
Sent: Sun Sep 24 19:10:33 2006
Subject: Re: Hasselback
And now...we are scheduled to depart at 8. Shocking! On the bright side, at least Eli is proving that his brother doesn't have the market cornered on worthless 4th quarter stats. Actually, I love Eli so I will stop hating.

----- Original Message -----
From: The WAD
Sent: Sun Sep 24 19:34:18 2006
Subject: Re: Hasselback
Okay, for anyone that ever doubted that things happen to me when I fly that don't happen to other people, get a load of this crap...
Some old dude dressed in a pilot uniform just stands up at the gate and announces the following:
I am going to be your captain tonight, but it appears that we are waiting on a plane that isn't coming. So, I am going to taxi over to the hanger and see if I can get us a plane!
Then, for some reson, the other people at the hate erupt into applause. Meanwhile, I don't know how I feel about chuck yeager just honchoing a plane out of the hanger! This stuff only happens to me.
By the way, have I mentioned there is a casino in my hotel in baton rouge? Make what you will of that!

----- Original Message -----
From: The WAD
Sent: Sun Sep 24 19:58:09 2006
Subject: Re: Hasselback
8:45 is the new departure time. On another note, I have spent $20 since I have been here. I bought the new Maxim with Vanessa minillo, a water, a nutrigrain bar, a pretzel, and a can of skoal. Unfortunately, I was just informed by a miserable woman at my gate that you aren't allowed to use any form of tobacco except in the smoking room. So, you guessed it...I am sitting in the smoking room dipping. The amazing thing is that the dregs in this place are looking at me like I am a lowlife. This is a lowpoint of epic propetions in my life. Seriously, the smoking room at the airport makes Teddy KGB's place look like the Four Seasons, yet somehow, I am the outcast! The hits just keep on coming!

----- Original Message -----
From: The WAD
Sent: Sun Sep 24 20:23:26 2006
Subject: Re: Hasselback
Chuck yeager just came back and told is to get on the plane. So, I guess we are a go. I wonder if this is how Richie Valens and the big bopper felt?

----- Original Message -----
From: The WAD
Sent: Sun Sep 24 20:44:18 2006
Subject: Re: Hasselback
What do you know, I'm sitting next to another day guy. And, of course, the flight attendants are ugly enough they might sleep with me. Wait a minute, that's not a bad thing. Whatever! Alright, I just poopped two of the good stuff and now its time to fly. God willing, ill be in touch from Tigerland.

----- Original Message -----
From: The WAD
Sent: Sun Sep 24 22:37:23 2006
Subject: Re: Hasselback
On the ground In BR. Not another sole in the airport. The flight wasn't too bad either. Well, except for the first ten minutes when I was pretty sure I was going to see George clooney and mark waglberg floating by my window. I honestly still can't believe we took off in that sh*t. Oh well! It was also a nice touch when I ordered a drink and the flight attendant said they didn't have any because they had just taken this plane out of storage! True story.

----- Original Message -----
From: The WAD
Sent: Mon Sep 25
Subject: Re: Hasselback 01:53:24 2006
So, I spent less than 3 minutes in my room before I hit the casino. I treaded water for an hour and then lost 200 bucks in like 6 hands! There was lots of splitting, doubling, and cursing involved. The only saving grace is they stop serving booze at midnight so atl least I didn't go insane. A perfect ending to a completely bullsh*t day! Now, I'm going to check my fantasy results and hang myself by my shoelaces!