Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Television Tuesday on Wednesday

21 minutes! That’s all we got this week. Are you joking me? Network sitcoms complete with commercials give us 22 minutes of content. Isn’t HBO supposed to give us more than the networks? Isn’t that the point of HBO? Honestly, I could rant about this for another 1,000 words, but that doesn’t do any good for anybody. Not you, not me, and definitely not Vince, because, well…Vince is f**ked!

Even though it was only 21 minutes, this week’s episode did manage to tie up a few loose ends and get us past some lingering storylines, as well as give us some memorable moments. For example, it didn’t take long for us to figure out how Terrance planned to screw Ari out of his $11 million in one of the funnier scenes of the season. Watching Ari’s squirm until he finally exploded at the meeting of the “five families” was more than a little enjoyable. Fortunately, Ellen Griswold was there to step in and save the day for Ari. Also, even though you knew it was coming, it was nice to see Drama book the Ed Burns pilot. Not to mention, it’s nice to know that Lloyd has 10,000 yen coming his way. All the news, of course, wasn’t good for the Boys. Let’s just say that we’ve long suspected that Vince was a moron, and now we know it.

So, with Drama finding work, E fresh off a threesome with two chicks at least 6 levels out of his league, and Turtle on the verge of a career as a rap mogul (I guess), it appears the only one of the boys with any issues is the one guy that should never have any problems, Vince. On the bright side, I’m sure Turtle will let Vince drive him around when Saigon blows up.

Enough about this week’s episode, let’s ask the hard questions:

1) How long until Babs really wants a piece of Ari? Sure, she was just joking this time around, but you know this is going to happen. The only real question is if Ari has seen the shower scene in “Vacation”. If he has, there is no way he says no. This actually falls under what I like to call the Stevie Nicks Rule: there are some women that no matter how old they are, no matter how large they have gotten, or even if they have no bones left in their nose because they have done so much blow, if you have the opportunity you simply HAVE to take it. Well, Mrs. Griswold is one of those women.

2) Do you think that 8 years ago, after “Saving Private Ryan”, Ed Burns thought he would be pumped to get a cameo on a 21 minute long HBO sitcom? Me neither. Let’s just say that “The Groomsmen” wasn’t exactly “Aquaman”.

3) Is Vince a socialist? At least this would explain why he seems hell bent on ruining any chance he has of making any more money in Hollywood. Would somebody please tackle this guy and duct tape his mouth shut?

4) Speaking of Vince’s self destruction, what the hell is it that his manager is supposed to do? I mean, call me nuts, but I’m thinking a good manager wouldn’t just sit there and say “do what you got to do” when his client is on his way to alienate his second studio in two weeks. I’m not sure about this, but I figure that at this rate Vince should have himself completely out of the business in less than a month. This is just further proof that E is a putz.

5) I’m only asking one more time: Where is Saigon? This is the best potential storyline of the season, and the writers have totally buried it. I just really don’t know what else I can say about this.

Finally, this week’s episode only registered a meager 5 on the “how much I hate my life” meter. This may actually be an all time low. It, however, would have been even lower had it not been for Ari’s performance at the dinner meeting. Don’t worry though, next week the boys are headed to Vegas. No way this can miss…I hope!