Thursday, August 31, 2006

Mea Culpa & Great Debate

I owe you guys an apology. Nobody hates to apologize more than I do, but sometimes it's just the right thing to do. And, this is one of those times. I had intended on making this a banner week for The WAD. I had planned on writing compelling previews of all six major conferences and whipping everybody into a frenzy for the start of the college football season. Well, unfortunately, I've failed to deliver. After going back and reading my previous three columns, I realize that my writing this week has been shit. No other way to say it. The fact of the matter is that I failed to do nearly enough preparation for these columns, and I've offered no significant insight, and little to no humor. In other words, I sucked. I couldn't run the ball. I couldn't pass the ball. I couldn't stop them from running and passing. I sucked! (Who doesn't love an old school Jim Mora rant).

That being said, I was all set to redeem myself today with a stellar ACC Preview. However, something funny happened in the process. As I was researching the ACC, I realized that the conference is a mess. There is no dominant team or teams. More teams than not have no idea what to expect. There are no real compelling stories heading into the season, and there is no place from which to even derive much comedy. In short, I have no idea what to say about the ACC. Hell, for all I can tell, my Jackets have a chance to win the league...seriously! So, for your sake, I'm balling the ACC preview.

Really, what could I say anyway? Could I talk about how Bobby Bowden is simply trying to outlive Joe Paterno at this point? Or, how Frank Beamer is looking for somebody to step up and commit a felony quickly so the Hokies don't go into the season under strange circumstances? Or, could I tell you why you should go ahead and pencil Chan Gailey in for 7 wins? Or, should I tell you that Chuck Amato's chest needs its own seat on the team charter? Or, what about the fact that UNC fans are still pissed Bunting won 7 games two years ago and cost them a chance at Spurrier? Or, even better, could I tell you that Al Groh continues to get less out of more than Jim Donnan ever did? Or, should I take the time to tell you that Ralph Friedgen is really fat? Or, that Tommy Bowden's daughter is naughty? What about the fact that Jim Grobe continues to pray somebody else will hire him? Or, should I state the obvious and tell you that Duke is horrible? Or, finally, should I remind you that Larry Coker looks more and more like Bill Guthridge every day? I mean, I guess I could discuss all these things at length, but don't they really just go without saying.

So, all that being said, where does this leave us? Well, much to my excitement, it leaves us on the eve of my first edition of gambling picks for the season. That's right folks. Tomorrow, I will be unveiling my five stone cold locks for opening weekend. I know I often tell you how excited I am about a certain event, but this time I mean it. I mean, in the chain of life's necessities, gambling falls somewhere between food and shelter in my opinion. Needless to say, I'm down right giddy in anticipation for the first week of action, and I can't wait to share my picks with you tomorrow. In the meantime, however, I feel like I need to give you something to talk about today. And, maybe, just maybe, I can finally succeed in whipping you into that frenzy I've been waiting for. So, without further adieu, here's one last pre-season version of the Great Debate:

I'm going to keep this real simple, and I will be personally offended if every single reader doesn't have an opinion: Who is going to win the National Championship this season?

That's it. It's that simple. Let's hear it boys and girls. Go on record right now to preserve your "I told you so" rights come the first week in January.