Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Television Tuesday

So, he did it. E freaking did it, and in the process, he undoubtedly became the luckiest character in the history of television. First, as Ari once said, he was born into royalty when he was lucky enough to be born next door to Vince. Now, not only is he making obscene amounts of money because of Vince, living in a palatial house because of Vince, getting into clubs he’s not nearly cool enough to get into because of Vince, but he is also having threesomes with absurdly hot chicks, at least partially because of Vince. At the end of the day, I just have one question: where the hell is my Vince?

Well, enough about the threesome. After all, a threesome with rules isn’t worth talking about is it? (You’ve got to love Drama’s little drops of wisdom.) Sunday night was the rarest of “Entourage” episodes. It was actually a really solid episode, with tremendous comedy (Ari’s inspirational speech to the staff was a Hall of Fame Ari moment), plenty of hot chicks, plenty of “recreational” behavior, and a genuinely compelling plot line, but the ending was down right infuriating. Usually, the best episodes are the ones that are “technically” strong, but also end on a high note, without any ridiculous conflict. (i.e. the party at Weinfuck’s beach house, Sundance, the Bat Mitzvah, and the high school party/blackout). This episode, however, while “technically” strong, left me wanting to shake the shit out of E and Vince. Specifically, how in the hell can E possibly justify ignoring Ari’s calls for an entire day? Who does he think he is? Wasn’t he spinning dough at Sbarro’s less than three year’s okay? And, how in the hell can Vince possibly justify blowing off a breakfast with the guy that is willing to pay him $12.5 million for pretending to be a super hero? Listen, the whole “I’ve got principles” thing is nice and all, but if somebody wants to pay me $12.5 million, they can lie to me as much as they want. Hell, I’ve been lied to for a lot less, and I liked it! I guess the most frustrating thing is that it’s just too hard for me to believe that ANYBODY could be as irresponsible as these guys with so much money on the line. Then again, that is probably why I couldn’t be a Hollywood agent in real life.

Okay, enough of me rambling on about these fictional people as if they really existed. Let’s ask some important questions about these fictional people:

1) Is Ari lying about Brokeback Jake taking over as Aquaman? This was the most popular theory around the water cooler today. The fact is that the timing of Ari’s call (right after Warners told him to f**k off) just seems too quick. I mean, there is no way that Warners could have stormed out of breakfast and closed a deal with Cowboy Jake (I’m trying out different names, just stay with me) that fast. Not to mention, Ari has lied to Vince in an attempt to motivate him before (remember the whole “Cameron said you could be replaced” debacle?). The problem is that his past lies to Vince have ended horribly, and Vince is actually in this position because he was so outraged that Warners lied to him. So, you see, this would be a HUGE gamble on Ari’s part. Is that a gamble he is willing to take? Probably. Do I hope that is a gamble he was willing to take? Absolutely.

2) Is this the beginning of a beautiful relationship between Drama and Lloyd? God I hope so! The comedic potential is off the charts. If they blow this opportunity, every last writer should be fired! And, in case you are wondering, 10,000 yen is about the equivalent of $6,450. Well, at least I think it is.

3) Since when did Turtle start wearing real clothes? Was I the only one that was startled when the episode opened with Turtle wearing khakis and a vest sweater? What happened to the jumpsuits playa? I need these to come back in a hurry, because they are the only thing that make me feel good about my wardrobe.

4) Is this the end of E and Sloan’s relationship? Of course it is.

5) Was it worth it? Of course it was.

So, ultimately, on the “how much do I hate my life after this week’s episode” meter, we are at a solid 9. I know I promised it would be higher if certain things happened, but at the end of the day my frustration with E and Vince really put a damper on things. Not to fear, however, with the much awaited Vegas episode just weeks away, there’s still plenty of time to shatter the meter.