Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Television Tuesday

With no more “24” and no more of “The Sopranos” until February, I was worried that we might have a hard time filling the void left in Television Tuesday. Well, fear not, just when things were looking bleak, the boys from Queens came storming back on the screen on Sunday night. I am, of course, talking about Vince, E, Turtle, and the amazing Johnny Drama and the return of “Entourage” to HBO. Sunday night marked the beginning of season 3, and in the words of Ari, we’ve once again, “got Gold.”

Last season, of course, chronicled the arduous road the boys traveled to actually get Vince to avoid ruining his career and make the movie. We saw the coming and going of Vince’s obsession with the not nearly hot enough for him Mandy Moore, E’s developing relationship with the way too hot for him Sloane, Turtle’s budding career as a rap mogul, Drama’s unfortunate erectile mis-functions with Brooke Shields, and Ari’s rapidly imploding relationship with Terrance, and his ultimate departure from the agency. So, season 3 began with a lot of questions, and episode 1 gave us the answers. Well, at least some of them. For example:

1) Would Vince be able to survive making the movie with Mandy? Well, it certainly appears so. “Aquaman” was made, and it didn’t take us long to learn that Vince has spent the past six months banging a multitude of “skanks.” I think he's doing just fine.

2) Would E have his heart broken by Sloane? As of now, the answer is “no.” Despite the fact that she is a major league babe, and E has single A talent, at best, they appear to still be going strong. We didn’t get much insight into this one, but we know they are still together, and she was with him at the big premier. Has there ever been a luckier person, real or fictional, than E. As Ari has said on many occasions, E is like the garbage man that wins the lottery.

3) Would Turtle become the white Dr. Dre? We don’t know the answer to this yet, but based on the lack of discussion of Saigon in episode 1, I think it’s safe to say that this hasn’t happened just yet.

4) Would Drama ever work again? Thanks to his mother’s on air interview with Big Boy, we know the answer to this one is a “no.” If you thought it would be any different, you obviously didn’t see the episode with Brooke.

5) Would Ari land on his feet? Well, he’s barely making rent on his new cramped quarters in West Hollywood, but he’s still got James Woods and Vince on the client list. Plus, we now know that his wife is ridiculously rich and looks tremendous in a negligee, so life ain’t all bad for Ari.

So, we definitely got some answers, and we will undoubtedly get the rest of the answers in the near future. That being said, episode 1 did lead to a few more questions. Take these five for example:

1) Are we completely done with Mandy Moore? God, I hope so. The whole Vince/Mandy relationship really became a drain on last season. We tune in every week to see Vince pulling random hot chicks (it’s the closest thing to an inside look into Matt Leinart’s life we have). We don’t tune in to see him hopelessly obsessed with a “America’s Sweetheart.” Now that she’s apparently out of the picture (there wasn’t one mention or her, or one sighting of her in episode 1), we can get back to business as usual for Vince. This is a good thing for everybody.

2) Will “Aquaman” be a hit? I think the movie has to be a hit. Not only because we know that Vince is in line for a lucrative deal to do the sequel, but because of the James Cameron factor. Remember when you were watching “Mystery Alaska”, and you just knew that there was no way the NHL would have let them use the Rangers in the movie unless the Rangers actually won the game? I mean, there was no way the NHL would have allowed there product to have been diminished by having the Rangers lose on the big screen to a bunch of nobodies from back woods Alaska. Well, the same thing holds true for James Cameron. No way he allows himself to be part of a show that portrays a movie of his as anything other than a wild success. No way!

3) Are we just going to ignore the fact that Shauna looks like a beached whale? Sure, she’s obviously pregnant, but is this just going to be ignored? Are we just supposed to pretend like it’s not happening? Are we supposed to pretend she didn't spend the whole off season swimming around protecting Aquaman? (Remember, whales are Aquaman's friends). Ultimately, this really doesn’t matter, but it’s just kind of strange.

4) Is Ari going to be okay? Ultimately, I’m confident that Ari will get back on his feet and extract his revenge on Terrance. In the mean time, however, I’m pretty uncomfortable with the whole idea of Ari being down and out. Part of the fun of “Entourage” is the fact that Ari is the man, and can totally blow off anybody he wants. Hell, 75% of the show’s humor comes from Ari’s total disregard for the rest of the world. I’m just afraid that if he has to continue to sucking off his wife’s trust fund to make rent and keeps bouncing checks, he’s going to lose some of his edge. This would be catastrophic for the show. This simply cannot happen.

5) Will Drama and Turtle get another shot with the “video hos”? I hope so. I really hope so.

So, we are off and running with season three. While there are clearly a lot of questions to be answered in the episodes to come, one thing remains painfully certain: I’d trade lives with any one of the boys from Queens. Even Drama or Turtle. And yes, that is more than a little depressing!