Thursday, April 27, 2006

Hot Routes

No need for a big intro, here's the Hot Routes:


Nash?

I’ve got to admit, I’m really shocked that Nash is going to win the MVP. Certainly he is deserving, but I’m just stunned that he’s actually going to bag two in a row. Here’s the deal: He has actually had a better season than last year, but he won last year because nobody else really stood out. This year, however, tons of other guys stood out, so I’m not as comfortable giving the award to a guy who is definitely not one of the best 10 players in the League! Yes, I said he’s not one of the best 10 players in the league. Kobe, Lebron, D. Wade, Shaq, Duncan, Nowitzki, Garnett, Iverson, Chauncey Billups, Artest, etc…are all better players than Nash. Are they more valuable? Well, that is truly a subjective question, and the voters apparently thought so. But, before we leave the debate, I want you to answer just one question: If you replaced Nash with Sam Cassell, would the Suns be 20 games worse? Probably not. Now, ask yourself this: If you replaced Lebron or Kobe with anyone other than each other, would their respective teams be 20 games worse? Definitely. At the end of the day, I think this vote came down to two things: 1) The voters couldn’t pull the trigger on a 21 year old MVP, and 2) The voters couldn’t pull the trigger on an accused rapist as MVP. I guess there could be worse reasons.

Favre

Thank God. Half of our long national crisis is over, and Brett Favre is coming back. Now, if we can only get Roger Clemens to make his stunning announcement that he is returning, we can all sleep at night. Seriously, I think it’s great that Favre is coming back. I’ve always loved him, and it will be fun to watch him throw 33 picks next year for a GAWD-AWFUL Packer team. I just wish that we could get Mike Patrick and John Madden in the same broadcast booth for one of Favre’s games. It would, of course, have to be on HBO, because you can’t show an all male orgy on network television.

“Deal or No Deal”

I was hanging out with my Dad last night and saw this show for the first time ever, and I was horrified. This woman had over $360K in the bank and risked it all for a 40% chance of winning more than $500K. I wanted to run through the t.v. screen and tackle her. It would be one thing if she were on of the Maloof Brothers, but she was a normal person with a husband and a kid. She started the whole thing by saying that her goal was to win enough money to buy her husband hair plugs. Well, call me nuts, but I think $360K would be enough to get that done. By the end of this nightmare, I actually was rooting against her so she would be punished for her greed. I felt very guilty about this, especially because I’m the same guy that spent 20 straight hours at a blackjack table less than a month ago. In the infamous words of Val Kilmer as Doc Holiday in “Tombstone”, “it appears my hypocrisy knows no bounds.”

N.C. State

Not that anybody cares, but N.C. State has now been turned down by Callipari and Lavin, and they are now reportedly pursuing John Beline of West Virginia. All three of those guys are worthy candidates, but I can’t for the life of me understand why in the world State isn’t turning to one of it’s own, Derek Wittenberg. Sure, I’m biased. Witt is someone I know and think the world of, but trust me when I tell you this: If N.C. State hires Derek Wittenberg, they will win BIG! Trust me! Unfortunately, because State A.D. Lee Fowler seems more concerned with making headlines than actually doing what’s best for his program, we will probably never know.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

So, maybe there is something to this growing "WAD Man of The Week" jinx theory. I'm not ready to take responsibility for Lebron looking his age last night, but suffice it to say that if he lays another egg in Game 3, I'm taking the picture down. I can't live with that kind of guilt. As long as we are on the subject of the NBA, let me take this opportunity to once again jam my renewed love for The League down your throat. Seriously, if you didn't watch the Spurs/Kings game last night, you only cheated yourself. It was like the old days. Lots of points, great shooting, and everybody raising their game to another level. Plus, we got to see Shareef Abdur Rahim emerge from his cryogenic freeze right in front of our eyes. Consider this a major victory for modern science. Lucky for the Spurs, Drew Barry apparently tought his brother to master the "in and out off the glass" three from the corner. I'm going to say it one more time, and I promise I won't say it again: The NBA is back, and it's FANTASTIC.

Well, I've received a few requests (most of them from loyal reader Stats) to give you my take on the "other" playoffs taking place right now. I'm, of course, referring to the NHL battle for the Stanley Cup. Since I always aim to please my readers, I've decided to indulge the requests. So, without further ado, here's how I think the race for the Cup shakes out:

Well......uh.......you see..........um........yea, I've got nothing! Absolutely nothing!


See you tomorrow for some Hot Routes and the Thursday afternoon Caption Contest. As always, if you've got a good caption, send it my way. The new email address for The WAD is atlwad@gmail.com

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Last week, I made you all the wait until Friday for your weekly dose of Television Tuesday. Well, not to worry, no such delay is necessary this week. The two best shows on television are both building to an eruption. Well, at least we know “24” is building toward an eruption, and we sure as hell hope that “The Sopranos” is headed in that direction. The only way to find out where we are going is to ask the hard questions, so here we go:

“The Sopranos”

1. How big are Artie’s balls? They are either enormous, or he has a death wish. I don’t care how long he’s known Tony, or how close he thinks they are…doesn’t he realize he’s insulting a man that kills for a living? Tony’s had to make a lot of tough decisions in the past few years, but I wish he would make another one and kill Artie. He really bugs me.

2. Is there anything more humiliating than having your hand scorched in boiling marinara sauce? Maybe having your gorgeous young hostess scream that she and Bennie Fazio lay in bed laughing at you, but not much else I can think of.

3. Has there ever been a more unintentionally comedic character than Sir Ben Kingsley playing himself? His facial expressions of disbelief were outrageous, and the only thing funnier than him correcting Christopher when he called him “Sir Ben” was him declaring, “f**k”to his publicist when he saw that he was on the same flight with Christopher. High Comedy.

4. Do you think Phil Leotardo supports same sex marriage? Speaking of high comedy, Phil’s outburst about Vito was the epitome of unintentional comedy. It was clearly meant to be a serious moment, but if you made it through without laughing, you are a better man than me.

5. Did this episode have a point? I mean, we already knew that Artie was a pansy, Vito is a homosexual, and Christopher is coke head. Okay, well Christopher was on the wagon ,so I guess we learned that he is a relapsing coke head. Other than that, I don’t feel like we learned anything beneficial this week. In other words, we are no closer than we were to figuring out how this is all going to end. Patience friends…patience.

“24”

1. How do any of these people EVER doubt Jack Bauer? Okay, this isn’t fair, because I’ve asked this question something like ten times now, but it never ceases to amaze me. I just have to ask this, and then I promise I won’t bring it up again, but what was Secretary Heller thinking? What has Jack ever done to make him think it was a good idea not to follow his instructions? Let this be a lesson to everyone that if you don’t do as Jack says, you will die! Well, unless…

2. Is Secretary Heller dead? Call me nuts, but I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the Sec Def’s car fell directly into the water without hitting the rocks and exploding. Don’t count him out just yet. I’ve got it at even money that he still plays a prominent role in bringing down Logan. If I’m wrong, however, let the record show that Secretary Heller died a Patriot. He manned up and did what had to be done for his country. I guess that resolves any lingering doubt...the Secretary is clearly a Republican.

3. What was the most absurd thing that happened this week? Well, there were a few. For example, the fact that Miles was right when he said all Chloe needed was a laptop to tap into CTU’s network is unbelievable. Also, Chloe nonchalantly saying “o.k.” when Jack asked her to back trace satellite imagery and download the live feed to his p.d.a. was a little startling. But, the most baffling thing in this episode has actually been one of the most baffling things in every episode of “24” since it came into our lives. In the words of my esteemed roommate, Hans, “do you find it weird that all these people always have their cell phones set to ring?” Yes Hans, I do find this very weird. You would think that vibrate might be the best option, but hey, who am I to question Jack Bauer?

4. Where is Aaron Pierce? Did he really get transferred back to D.C., or did Logan have him killed? If he’s dead, that little twit, Logan, better hope I don’t get my hands on him. He’s already taken David Palmer, Tony Almeida, Michelle Gessler, Edgar Stiles, and Rudy. Well, I’m actually okay with Rudy, but I’m drawing the line at Aaron Pierce!

5. Does Chloe have bigger balls than Artie Bucco? Admittedly, this is a little weird because Hans has already declared he would like to marry Chloe, but the question must be asked. If it’s not cajones that’s keeping her from getting up from that computer and leaving Jack on his own, then I just don’t know what it could be. All I do know is that no character in the history of television has ever done more with less than Chloe. She’s the Larry Bird of prime time television. She’s not attractive, she has a miserable personality, and she couldn’t be more boring if she was in a coma. In other words, she has no business being a star. Despite all that, however, you find yourself constantly rooting for her, she never ceases to amaze, and she always comes through in the clutch. And, yes, I just compared a television character to one of my boyhood heroes. It might be time to seek help or get a life.

Monday, April 24, 2006

Welcome to the first day in our new home. I know it's beyond late today, and I do apologize, but blogger was having some serious technical difficulties today, and this is the first successful attempt at posting. Before embarking on the Monday morning look into my depraved mind, I want to thank Fish for not only taking the time to set up this new site, but also for all his help with The WAD. Truth be told, if it weren't for Fish, there would never have been a WAD, and I would probably have called it quits early on. Also, while we are talking about Fish, let me send congratulations to him and his lovely wife on the birth of their second child, a little girl named Phoebe. I got my first chance to meet Phoebe yesterday, and everyone will be very relieved to know she looks like her Mom. Okay, enough of the personal shout outs, here's what was going through my mind this weekend:

I watched so much NBA Playoff basketball that by the time the Mavs tipped off last night, I wasn't really sure where I was any more. My head was spinning, and my back was aching from not giving off the love seat for two days, but it was worth it. In the course of this marathon of hoops, I a lot of thoughts, but the most important were these:

1) Lebron is scary good. If you aren't paying attention to the Lebron experience, you need to start. He's 21 and he's throwing up monster triple doubles in the playoffs? At no point in my life up until Saturday did I think such a thing is possible. There is no limit to the heights this guy can take his game. None. He's bigger, quicker, and more skilled than almost anybody in the league. And again, he's 21.

2) Kobe played horrifically and the Lakers were in the game until the final seconds! Uh-oh Phoenix. Who knows? Maybe Phoenix will sweep the Lakers, but if you told me that Kobe would struggle his way to 22 yesterday, I would have guessed the Suns would have won by a minimum of 20 points. Sure, they got the win, but I imagine they are more than just a little nervous about what Kobe is going to unleash on them in Game 2. You can only hold the Mamba at bay for so long.

3) If you ever wanted to know why it wasn't a good idea to give the defending NBA Champions bulletin board material heading into a playoff series, well, give Ron Artest a call. He should be able to educate you. That being said, I'm still not sold on the Spurs. Don't get me wrong, I'm not about to doing anything silly like picking them to lose before the Western Conference finals, but watching Tim Duncan drag that foot around makes me seriously question whether they have a run to the Finals in them.

4) On a different note about the Spurs, I didn't realize until it was brought up by the announcers in Saturday's game that Tim Duncan is the only remaining player from the Spurs' first Title run. Isn't it time we start putting Greg Popovich right up there with the NBA coaching elite of Phil Jackson and Larry Brown?

Okay, here are some non-NBA related thoughts:

I was stunned to learn that Reggie Bush's family may have been living in a $750,000 house last year that was purchased in some form by a sports agency. I mean, a superstar college athlete getting some perks from a sports agent? Who has ever heard of such a thing?

The Wendy's triple cheeseburger might just be the perfect cheeseburger. Tons of beef, hot melted cheese, and those great Wendy's pickles. Just doesn't getter any better than that. Sure, no human being, especially me, has no business eating that much food at one time, but sometimes you just got to man up.

I watched "The Godfather" again for the first time in a few years this weekend, bringing my total viewings somewhere close to triple digits. Needless to say, "The Godfather" is my favorite movie of all time, followed closely by "The Godfather II". However, no matter how many times I watch the movie, I still find myself in complete shock and disbelief when Sonny gets gunned down at the toll booth. I don't know what it is, but this scene always leaves me speechless. I mean, how could Carlo, as despicable as he was, ever have betrayed the family like this? How could he have thought this would end well? I often think about what would have become of Michael had Sonny not been killed. Would Michael have been able to live a normal life outside the family business, or was he already in too deep after killing Sollozzo and McCluskey? These are the things I think about!